Konoha High
by justplainrii
Summary: AU : Naruto is a recent transfer to Konoha High School, and he absolutely hates it.  However, when he meets such people as Sasuke, a whiny emo, to Haku, a surprising foreign exchange student, will his mind be changed?  ON HIATUS
1. A New Student

Konoha High  
Chapter 1  
- A New Student -

"I really don't wanna do this." Naruto sighed, sitting in the car with his father.

"Now, Naruto, don't make this hard for yourself," his father, Yondaime, replied, turning the steering wheel and driving the car into the parking lot of the school. "You're gonna be fine. Just be yourself and you'll have nothing to worry about."

Naruto sulked deeper into his seat and stayed there when the car had stopped.

"Naruto, get out of the car," Yondaime said.

"I don't wanna..." Naruto groaned.

"Naruto... now," his father said, a little more forcefully. "Want me to take away your PSP?"

"Fine, fine, I'll go..." Naruto said, protectively clutching the gaming device in his pocket. "Later, dad."

He watched the car drive away, and sighed, joining the mass of unfamiliar students.

He was a transfer student to Konoha High, because of his mother's job relocation. He didn't really care, anyways, since he didn't have many friends at his old school, but still... he didn't like it.

He found himself at his locker and easily opened it, taking an opportunity to look at his schedule.

"Okay... first period, Hatake, Science, room 1228. Now... where the hell is that?" he said to himself.

"You need help, little dude?"

He looked up to see a bespectacled senior with pale blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, a deeply tanned body and an open, Hawaiian-style shirt revealing a necklace with a fang on it leaning on his locker with a smile.

"...huh?"

"I asked if you needed any help getting to your class, little dude," the boy said. "Where's tha room at?"

"I'm not little," Naruto growled. "It's room 1228."

"Woah, no offense, dude," he said, smiling. "Ahh, 1228? You got Mr. Hatake for Science, right?"

"Yeah...?" said Naruto.

"Aww, man, that is one righteous dude," he said, scratching his head. "Really knows his stuff."

He grabbed Naruto by the shoulder and pointed down the busy hallways.

"What you need to do is go down this hallway right here. There's, like, two other wings branching off, but you need to take the very last one at the end and turn left. His room's at the very end, kay?"

"Okay, thanks," said Naruto.

"Stay cool, froshie-dude," the guy said. "What's your name, anyways?"

"It's Naruto," said Naruto. "Who're you?"

"The name's Kabuto Yakushi," he said. "Hang loose, dude, I'll see you later!"

Naruto turned and went down the hallway, the strange surfer's voice in his mind. He found his way to the room easily, and opened the door a little hesitantly.

The class seemed friendly, and the teacher was writing something on the board, his back turned.

"Hey, look, it's a new kid," he heard someone whisper. It took only a small while before everyone was looking at him, and he fidgeted uncomfortably as the bell rang.

The teacher turned around, and Naruto finally got a look at him. He appeared fairly normal in a blue button-down shirt and a long mane of silver hair that fell into his left eye, while his exposed right eye looked tired and bored.

"Ah, you must be the new student," he said, flipping through the attendance guide on his clipboard. "Uzumaki?"

"Yeah, that's me," said Naruto.

"Ahh... you can sit over here, next to Haku," he said, pointing to an open seat next to a person with long hair. Naruto stretched his shoulders and took a seat.

"Naruto, you wanna introduce yourself or anything?" Mr. Hatake said.

"Nope, nothing to say," he said. A few people laughed.

"Ahh, I see," said Mr. Hatake, a smile darting across his stubbly chin. "Well, if you all would open up your books to page 233, we'll get started."

"Teacher, he has no book," Haku said, raising his hand.

"Ah, I see," Mr. Hatake said, scratching his head. "Ah, Hinata? Mind lending him your copy?"

"Oh! Umm... err... I... yeah..." a soft voice from behind said. Naruto felt a slight tap on his back, and turned to see a girl with long hair pulled back with a ribbon offering him her book. Her face was downcast, so he couldn't get a good look at it.

"Er... thanks," Naruto said. She nodded, and he could swear that her face was turning red.

"Page 233, Uzumaki, we're going over formulas today, so you should be able to follow," Mr. Hatake said. Naruto turned to the page and found it free of blemishes and notes, which was surprising to him (most of the kids at his old school doodled all over their textbooks).

"Now, if you remember..." Mr. Hatake said, beginning the lesson. Haku gently poked Naruto, and he turned around.

"Hmm?" he said.

"I must introduce myself," he said, smiling. "I am new student, too. I am exchange student from China! My name is Haku; it is nice to know you."

"Ah, China? That's cool," said Naruto. "Nice to meet you too, I'm Naruto."

"I help you with homework, if you want," he said. "You have what other class?"

"Eh?" said Naruto. "You mean, what other classes do I have?"

"Yes, sorry, my English is not so good," he said, blushing a bit. "I am still learning."

"Ahh, here's my schedule," said Naruto, handing it to him. Haku looked it over.

"Ah, we have lunch and Art together at end of day!" said Haku. "Very good, I see you more!"

"Ohh... okay, then," said Naruto, looking up at the whiteboard and copying the notes Mr. Hatake had written. "Say, who's that girl behind us?"

"Hinata?" Haku said, looking at the girl in question (she was busy taking notes, her hair still over her face). "She is very smart girl, very shy. She like to help people, but very, very shy."

"I see," said Naruto.

"She have lunch with us," said Haku. "Maybe you talk to her more?"

"Meh, maybe," said Naruto. He heard Hinata squeak behind them and cover her face.

"...so if you substitute 3 meters for d, then what is the answer, Uzumaki?" Mr. Hatake said.

"Ah! Oh, um, 5.7 meters per second," Naruto replied, quickly back to the lesson.

"Pretty close, the correct answer is 5.2. Nice try though, Uzumaki." Mr. Hatake said.

Naruto grinned and laughed a little.

-///-

The next few hours passed by a bit uneventfully; Naruto was paired next to nameless, faceless people he didn't really interact with (although in History class with Mr.Umino, someone named Shikamaru was being a smartass and made the teacher mad). Finally, it was lunch, before Art with Mr. Might.

When the bell rang, Naruto made his way to the cafeteria and got himself a cup of insta-ramen from the snacks. Filling it with water, he sat down at a table and waited for it to finish, until...

"Naruto! There you are!"

Haku and Hinata were approaching his table, and he couldn't help but smile a little.

"Hey there," he said, waving a little.

"I knew we had same lunch!" Haku said. "You got ramen?"

Naruto nodded and split his chopsticks.

"Yup! Chicken-flavored, it's my fave."

"Ah... that's... that's... that's good..." Hinata stuttered softly, poking at her salad. Naruto finally got a look at her face; it was round and rather pleasant, with big, pale, silver eyes that were the strangest he had ever seen.

"So, whatcha got there?" Naruto asked, pointing at Haku's lunch box with his chopsticks.

"Ah, this?" Haku said. "Stir-fry mushroom and sticky rice, with some beef. I made it myself."

"No kidding! You cook?" Naruto said. "If I ever have to bring a lunch, my dad always does it."

"Ah, I live with host family, you did not know?" Haku said. "I not much like American food, so I cook for self."

"I see, I see," said Naruto, eating some more noodle. "I-"

"Hey, you!" a nasally voice said.

They all looked up to see a blonde girl with bubblegum-pink lips in a cheerleader's uniform with her arms crossed and a sour look on her face. A girl with pink hair and a boy with blue hair and a bored look on his face stood behind her.

"...yeah?" Naruto said, staring at her well-endowed chest.

"You're the new kid, right?" the blonde girl said, twisting a strand of hair in her fingers.

"Yeah...?" Naruto said again, still a bit distracted.

"Well... I'm Ino Yamanaka, and... like... yeah, I just kinda wanna let you know..." she said, her voice rising at the end of each sentence, "...you, like... seem the type to cause trouble, y'know?"

"Um... no...?" Naruto said, his mind barely in the conversation.

"She means she wants you to stay away from her, honey," the blue-haired boy said. "Right, Ino?"

"Chyeah," she said. "So like... don't get any ideas. I know what you want."

"Like he'd want an airhead like you," an acid voice said. Ino shivered and they all turned to see a girl with long black hair that brushed her back and enormous headphones strung around her neck.

"Uh-oh, it's her!" the pink-haired girl squealed. "Headphones-girl!"

"She giving you a hard time, new kid?" she asked.

"Er... I dunno," said Naruto, snapping back into semi-reality. "She said to stay away from her."

The girl sighed.

"Listen, bitch," she said tartly to Ino. "The only people who would want a girl like you are homos like Sakon."

"Wha-?" the blue-haired boy said in outrage. "I am, like, _so_ not a homo!"

"Pshaw, riiight," the girl said, tilting her head.

"I am not!" he said again. "Grrr... man, I hate it when she's around."

"Lezbo..." Ino sighed. "Come on, let's go."

With that, the clique left.

"Sorry for ol' balloon-head over there," the girl said, sitting down at the table. "So you're the new kid? Nice to meet you, I'm Kin Tsuchi."

"Naruto," Naruto replied. "Er... thanks, I guess."

"Hey, no problem," Kin said. "Ah, Haku, na shi ni ma?"

"Shi de," Haku said cheerily. "Ni hao, Kin. Ni gao xing bu?"

"Hai ke yi," she replied.

"Woah, woah, wait a minute, you speak Chinese?" said Naruto, spewing a little bit of chicken broth and noodle.

"A little," said Kin. "Neat, huh?"

"Yeah!" said Naruto. "I never really did like languages."

"Oh... I... I see..." said Hinata, taking another bite of salad.

Naruto looked at her for a little bit, before going back to Kin.

"Fancy headphones," he said. "You like music?"

"Music is life," an ethereal voice said behind him. "It lives in all of us, and Kin is one of the lucky few to be able to tap into it and love it for the realness it holds in our everyday lives."

Naruto jolted in his seat a little to see a pale older boy with white dreadlocks and a red, yellow and green crocheted cap, and a tired air seemed to hang about his face.

"Kimi, don't freak the kid out," Kin said, fiddling with the cord on her headphones a little, "jeeze."

"My apologies," he said. "My name's Kimimaro Kaguya, sorry if I scared you."

"Not... not at all..." Naruto said uneasily.

"Back to your question... yeah, I really like music," Kin smiled. "What kind do you like?"

Naruto shrugged as Kimimaro took a seat at the table. "Dunno," he said. "I don't listen to music much."

"Ah, that's such a shame," Kin said. "Hina, you gonna drink that milk?"

Hinata shook her head, so Kin took the carton and chugged it down in one gulp. Naruto laughed.

"You liking the school so far, Naruto?" said Kimimaro.

"S'okay," Naruto said. "You guys sit here every day?"

"Well, we sit together every day," said Kin, "just not always at the same table. Why?"

Naruto shrugged. "I think I might join you guys, you're pretty interesting."

Hinata peeped a little and Haku grinned. "That is so very good!" he said. "I am very happy that you enjoy our company."

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, I'm definitely sitting with you guys later."

Next  
- Invasion of the Dark Ones


	2. Invasion of the Dark Ones

Konoha High  
Chapter 2  
- Invasion of the Dark Ones -

On Naruto's second day of school, his father dropped him off and he got to his locker. Kabuto was there to see him.

"Hey, froshie-dude! Howzit hangin'?"

"Okay, I guess," said Naruto. "How about you?"

"Cool, cool," he said. "Liking Mr. Hatake?"

"Yeah, he's cool," said Naruto.

"Ah, but do you have Choir?" Kabuto said.

"Choir? Naw, I can't sing," said Naruto.

"Ah, that's a shame," Kabuto said. "Mr. Orochi is the bomb, man."

"Mr. Orochi?" Naruto echoed.

"Yeah, he rules," Kabuto said. "Anyways, dude, I gotta get going. Classes and stuff. Later, man!"

"Yeah, later!" said Naruto, watching him walk off. "Mr. Orochi, huh? Interesting..."

He yawned a little and went down the hall to Mr. Hatake's class, taking a seat next to Haku, who said "Good morning!" and went back to his book ("Is Chinese comic book, I much like!"). Naruto supported his head in his hands and daydreamed for a moment, before feeling something pass by him and hearing a "FWAP!" sound. He snapped back and saw a dark blue notebook with black and red scribblings on it sitting at his feet. Curious, he picked it up. The front was scrawled with a strangely elegant hand, repeating lines such as "I hate myself," or "Itachi is the devil's child." More confused, Naruto opened it to the first page and began to read.

_"Dear Diary-chan...  
I hate my life. My brother is a bastard and won't listen to me. Nobody listens to me. Nobody understands my pain. Nobod-"_

"Gimme back my journal," he heard someone say. He looked up to see a kid with dark hair falling into his face and square glasses, dressed in a black tee shirt with a heart on it, being stabbed by three swords, layered over a dark gray long-sleeved one.

"Oh, this yours?" Naruto said, closing it and handing towards him. The boy snatched it away and glared at him.

"Yeah, it's mine. Man, don't you even care for other people's things, do you?" he said gloomily. "This was my journal, and it had my private thoughts in there, you know. Jeeze, thanks a lot, you really made my day."

"Hmm?" said Haku, looking up from his book for a second.

"Hey, sorry, man!" said Naruto. "Don't have to get all cranky!"

"Cranky?" said the boy. "I'm cranky, like some old lady or a baby? You sure have a way with words, don't you?"

"Dude, chill, I said I was sorry!" said Naruto. "Okay? Just leave me alone!"

"Pff...fine, if you want it that way..." the boy said, adjusting his glasses. "Really, though, you going through my stuff? Those are my private feelings, and-"

"Bloody emo-pussy, you bitch about yourself so much, everyone knows your feelings," a soft, yet grating, British-tinged voice said. Naruto turned his head to see a boy dressed in almost frighteningly gothic clothes, piercings on the eyebrows and ears, and a dark red scar on the left of his face, just above his eyeliner-smudged eyes, shaped like a heart.

"What did you just call me?" the emo said.

"Doesn't matter, you bloody emo," the goth said. "Stop whining and go away, will you?"

The emo glared at the goth and sniffed. "Fine, Gaara, I'll leave." With that, he turned around mumbling something about "Nobody understands..."

"As for you..." the goth (now identified as Gaara) said, "keep out of Sasuke's face, unless you want to hear that annoying git whine all day, got it?"

"Yeah, um... sure, I'll keep that in mind," Naruto said. "Your name's Gaara, right?"

"Yeah, why?" he said.

"Just asking," Naruto said. "Ah, here comes Mr. Hatake."

Gaara scowled to the side and went to his seat at the back of the class.

"Very interesting people here, no?" said Haku.

"I guess," Naruto said. "That guy, Sasuke, right?"

"Sasuke? The one with notebook?"

"Yeah, what's his deal?" he asked.

"He is always like that," Haku said. "Best not to talk to him, but girls like him very much."

"That... oh, never mind," Naruto said, watching Sasuke scribble something in his notebook with a red pen.

-///-

Naruto got a sandwich for lunch that day, and sat at the table he used the day before. Nobody had showed up to sit with him yet, so he simply observed a few things going by. Ino's clique sat in the corner near the exit of the cafeteria, giggling giddily about something. Sasuke, he noticed, was sitting in a booth near the back of the cafeteria, notebook in hand, writing down something, earbuds in his head. A few tables away, he recognized Shikamaru (who had again talked back to Mr. Umino in History) talking with a long-haired boy and strange pale eyes like Hinata's. Two boys were holding hands and kissing near a... two boys??

Naruto froze, a bit freaked out, but was brought back by Haku, taking a seat at the table with him.

"Sorry I am late!" he said. "Hinata will join us later."

"Haku, who are those guys making out over there?" he said, pointing to the gay couple.

"Ah, those two?" said Haku. "Dosu and Zaku, I think, they most certainly are... what is word... queer?"

"Oh... um... yeah..." said Naruto, finding himself a bit like Hinata, unable to speak coherently.

"Peace, everyone," said Kimimaro, joining them at the table. "How are things?"

"Good," Haku smiled. "Where is Kin?"

"She's getting some pudding," Kimimaro said. "Won't take long."

"Hold your horses, I'm here," she said, slamming down her tray. "Kimi, you REALLY need to talk to Deidara and Sasori; at least tell them to smoke outside! It's really annoying, and it smells gross."

"I'll see if I can," said Kimimaro. "Oh, well look, here they come."

"Hey, man," said a husky, feminine voice. "What's up, man?"  
Naruto looked to see a fairly plain-looking girl with blue eyes and blonde hair in her face standing there, a rather short, tired-looking boy of around the same age behind her.

"Dei, Kin's kinda bummed at you for smokin' inside," Kimimaro said. "It's ruining the mood, you know?"

"Ahh, I see, man," said Deidara, scratching her head. "You don't want me doing my thing inside, right, man?"

"Yeah, that's right," said Kin. "So would you mind 'doing your thing' outside, at least? It's illegal too, you know. I'm amazed none of the teachers have found you out yet."

"Nobody really cares," said Sasori. "As long as we aren't hurting anyone, you know?" Kin sighed and opened her pudding.

"Hey, who's this guy, man?" said the girl.

"This is Naruto, he just got transferred yesterday," Kimimaro explained. "Naruto, these are my partners in crime and sharers of peace, Deidara and Sasori."

"Yo, man," said Deidara, waving a bit. "He smoke?"

"Nope, and I don't think he'd be the type to do it," said Kin, holding her spoon between her teeth.

"Ah, that's okay, man," said Deidara. "I'm open to anyone, man."

"For some reason, that sounded nasty," said Sasori, a dirty grin on his sleepy face. "Come on, let's go."

With that and a "Later, man," from Deidara, they were gone.

"Do not mind those two," said Haku. "They are- ohmygoodness..." His face turned bright red, and he suddenly got very interested in his lunch.

"What's the matter?" Naruto asked. Kin looked over Kimimaro's shoulder and laughed a little.

"Ah, it's Zabuza," she giggled. "Haku's nuts over the guy, he's a total gangsta."

Naruto peered over and saw a student who was obviously a senior walking, a visor tilted on his head and a giant medallion on his neck, pants swinging low on his hips, and shiny bracelets and rings on his hands. "That guy?" said Naruto. "Dude, he looks cool."

"He _is_ pretty cool," said Kimimaro, "but not the nicest of guys, it's best to stay away from him."

"Is it... him... again...?" Hinata said softly, joining them at the table, looking at Haku's bright red face. Kin nodded.

"Just passed by," she said, reaching over the table and poking Haku in the forehead. "He's goooone, Hakuuuuu... Hellloooooo...?"

Haku looked sheepishly to the side.

"...I much admire him..." he said, taking his chopsticks in hand.

"Haku really wants to be his... friend..." Hinata whispered to Naruto. "But he is too... scared... to even say... hello..."

Naruto stared at Haku for a little bit and was confused, but shrugged it off and took a bite of his sandwich.

It was good.

Next  
- All-Hollow Eve


	3. All Hollow Eve

Konoha High  
Chapter 3  
- All-Hollow Eve -

"ARGHHH!"

Naruto practiced his pirate snarl in front of the mirror, and adjusted the clip-on gold earring dangling from his left ear.

"Easy, Naru!" his father said, taking a sip of coffee. "You don't need to get _that_ into it."

"Yeah, but it's fun, dad!" he said. "Man, I'm gonna be the coolest-looking pirate EVER!"

"Hehe, I bet you will," Yondaime said. "Well, let's get going."

They got in the car, and Naruto took out a small notebook Kin had given him on the third day of school, "Basics" written in large Sharpie marker on the front.

Inside were maps, classifications, and lists of people and cliques that could be trusted (as well as those that could never be trusted). He was flipped to the "Clique" page, and read out of boredom, but found himself at school before he could get into it.

It had been nearly 3 weeks since he had started school, and it was now Halloween. Naruto decided to go as a pirate, and had spent the week putting together a costume with his dad. It turned out rather well, but as a pact with his small group of friends, nobody would reveal their costume until lunch.

"Have a good day, Naru," Yondaime said, waving at him as the car drove off. Naruto pumped his fist in the air and went to his locker. A rather amusing sight met him.

It was Kabuto, dressed up as Harry Potter.

"Yo, that's a righteous costume you got there, dude," he said.

"Same to you," Naruto said, laughing. "Harry Potter? Nice! Gotta go!"

He ran as fast as he could to Mr. Hatake's class, because he wanted to see what Hinata and Haku were dressed up as.

For some reason, he half-expected what he saw, yet was half-surprised.

Haku was clad in a white, silky, Chinese-style tunic that reached to his mid-calves and was secured with a belt and silky white pants, while Hinata was wearing a gown with a blue laced-up bodice and a cape.

"Happy Halloween!" Haku said, waving his long sleeves in the air. "You make fine pirate, Naruto!"

"Thanks! What are you supposed to be?" Naruto asked, slamming his books down and smiling.

"I am supposed to be Peter Pan," said Haku, "but I could not find costume, so I just wear fancy clothes and pretend."

"Ah, and what about you, Hinata? You look really nice," said Naruto, looking over her splendid costume. She blushed and poked her fingers together, not answering.

"She is princess of old days!" Haku said. "I think she look very lovely, how about you?"

"I think you look great, Hinata," said Naruto. Hinata just blushed more as Mr. Hatake came in, wearing full army fatigues.

"AtennSHUN!" he said, saluting the class. Everyone laughed. "Seriously, guys," he chuckled. "Let's get started, shall we?"

-///-

The next two periods passed and Naruto admired those who had dressed up (not surprisingly, Sasuke chose to stay in his normal clothes), but it was in third-hour math class with Mr. Sarutobi (although everyone addressed him as Asuma) when things started to get interesting.

Gaara (who sat a row behind him) was dressed in an elaborate vampire costume, complete with fangs and a velvet cape, but was fidgeting rather uncomfortably in his seat. Naruto took a break from watching the man clad as a lumberjack writing algebraic equations on the board and turned around.

"Hey, what's with you today?" he asked.

"…I'd rather not say…" he said. "…I just hope they don't…"

"WELL HOWDY!" a loud, southern accent yelled from the door.

"Oh bloody hell, somebody just shoot me now," Gaara said, holding his forehead and groaning.

An older girl and boy were in the door, dressed in a rather revealing witch costume and as Frankenstein's monster.

"Well, whaddya know! It's Gaara!" the girl said, putting on a rather ridiculous grin.

"Hey dere, baby brudder!" the boy said. "How ya bin farin'?"

"Who's that?" a few people asked.

"Temari, Kankuro, what are you doing in my class?" Asuma asked.

"We dun get ahsselfs a lil' freetahm," Temari (the girl) replied. "We thawt yew were deservin' of a visit frum us two."

"Yeah," Kankuro said. "We din know ahr baby brudder was here tew!"

"They're… your brother and sister?" Naruto asked Gaara. He nodded slowly.

"I'm so embarrassed," he said. "Really, does anyone have a bloody gun around here?"

"GAA! Don't feel down!" another voice from the door said.

"As if it could get any worse…" Gaara groaned.

A tall boy dressed as Spongebob Squarepants bounded through the door from behind Temari and Kankuro, and gave Gaara a large thumbs-up. His smile was so white, it practically sparkled.

"BEST FRIEND!" he yelled. "Life may get you down, but you must rise above!"

"Lee, you're the last bloody thing I need right now," Gaara said.

"Lee, shouldn't you be in class right now?" Asuma said. "Temari and Kankuro are older and have free periods, but you're only a sophomore."

"Mr. Might let me go!" he said. "I knew that they were gonna come, so I came to cheer up my buddy!"

"He such a nahce boy," Temari grinned, oblivious that she and her brother were causing the trouble.

Gaara shook his head and exhaled, while Temari took out a large paper fan and walked towards him.

"Y'forgot yer lunch t'day, thas why we came here for ya," She said, bending over and lovingly placing a paper bag in front of Gaara, exposing her barely-clad bottom. Several boys leaned over to get a look.

"…thanks…" Gaara said, looking suspiciously at the bag while Lee continued standing and smiling.

"Un'ca Yashamaru's specialty!" Kankuro said. Temari looked around confusedly.

"Why're y'all starin' at mah butt?" she asked, noticing the wandering eyes.

"I reckon it's coz yer panties'r showin', Temari," Kankuro said matter-of-factly, twisting a piece of grass between his teeth.

"Well, hit me on th'head with a baseball bat, yer raht!" Temari said. "Now now, boys, if yew wanna get a look at mah butt, all y'need do is ask!"

"That is ENOUGH, Temari," Asuma said, stopping her before she could lift up her skirt. "Lee, Temari, Kankuro, please get out my classroom, or I'm reporting your teachers."

"Yissir," Temari and Kankuro said at the same time.

"Enjoy yer lunch, baby brudder, y'hear?" Temari said, waving at Gaara and making her skirt rise up higher, hinting at her underwear.

"Bye-bye, Gaa!" Lee said, bounding out the door.

"Bloody hell, this sucks…" Gaara groaned.

Naruto was fighting the urge to laugh.

-///-

"Say, Kin?" Naruto asked at lunch.

The sophomore dressed as a zombie bride looked up from her sandwich. "Hmm?"

"You know Gaara?" he said.

"What about him?" she replied.

"Does he have siblings or something?"

"Oh, you mean Temari and Kankuro?" she said. "Did you just meet them today?"

"Yeah, why do they have country accents? I thought Gaara was-" he began.

"British?" Kimimaro (who was dressed as John Lennon, one of his idols) ended. "He's just a bit... embarrassed about where he's from, so he pretends he's British. Southern accents aren't that different from British ones, you know."

"Oh... well, with siblings like that, I'd be embarrassed too!" said Naruto, flicking his earring. "And... what about that Lee guy?"

"Lee? He has a few classes with me," Kin said. "He's known Gaara since like... second grade, they're really close, even though Gaara doesn't always show it. We have some classes together, you should get to know him too."

"Ahh, he struck me as rather... weird." Naruto said.

"Yeah, he gets that all the time," Kimimaro and Kin said at the same time.

"Like, what are you supposed to be?" Ino's voice said. She was standing at their table, with her clique close behind. She was a Playboy Bunny, while Sakura was dressed in a similar outfit with kitty ears and Sakon was decked out like a drag queen.

"Don't you know the legend of the Corpse Bride?" Kin said, glancing annoyedly at Ino. "Long ago, in Nazi Germany, they would massacre young Jewish brides on their way to the chapel. Since Jewish people are buried in the clothes they died in, they would be placed in their coffin, still in their wedding gown. I am one of those brides, brought back from-"

"Eww, eww, too much information!" Sakura squealed.

"Like, whatever, that's just... stupid." Ino said.

"Oh really, then I suppose dressing up as a bunny rabbit isn't stupid, either," Kin replied smoothly.

"For your information," Ino said, "I'm a Playboy Bunny."

"Oh, how very nice," Kin said, smirking. "Advocating pornography at a school."

"Shut your mouth, you stupid-" Ino began, but was cut off when she saw someone clad in red, black and white checks coming towards them.

"What the fuck are you doing?" a grating voice said. "I thought I told you to leave them the fuck alone!"

"Uh-oh..." Sakon said, hiding behind Ino.

Naruto looked and saw a girl with violently pink-dyed hair that stuck out in spikes around her face, dressed in an outfit that resembled a harlequin, but decidedly more influenced by punk.

"Well, well, well!" the punk-harlequin said. "What have we here? A faggot, an anorexic poser, and a piggy!"

"Shut up!" Sakura yelled.

"Stay out of this, froshie!" Ino snapped. "This goes way back."

Sakura shrunk back and glared a little at Naruto.

"You'd do best to stay the fuck away from these guys," the punk said. "Remember what happened last time?"

Ino made a sour face, as if eating a sandwich with a rat in it, and then glared at the punk. "Fine! I'll go!" she said.

"That sounds more like it, now get out of my fucking face, or I'll do something much worse than sticking man-porn in your locker and telling Principal Sandaime about it..."

"YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" Ino shouted. The punk smirked.

"Oh, really..." she said smoothly. Ino gulped and began to march away in her spike-heels.

"You'll regret this someday!" she said.

"Yeah, when hell freezes over and I become fucking prom queen, you bitch," the punk said softly. She turned around and overlooked the table. "You guys a'ight?" she asked.

"Perfectly fine," Kimimaro said. "Haven't seen you in ages, Tayu."

"Yeah, good to see you too," the punk said, then glanced at Naruto. "Whozzat?"

"I'm Naruto, I'm pretty new here," said Naruto.

"Meh, nice costume," Tayuya said. "Hamelin, come down and say hello."

A large brown rat peeked it's face out of her hair and climbed down her arm onto the table.

"Wow, a rat?" Naruto said, looking at it. The rat looked back with its shiny black eyes. "That's cool! How'd you get it to climb on you like that? Does it stay there all day?"

Tayuya laughed; it was rough and mannish. "Heh, I can tell he's a good kid," she told Kimimaro, watching Hamelin creep closer to Naruto and stand on his hind legs. "You're pretty damn lucky to have friends like this, kid."

"I guess I am," Naruto said. "I didn't have too many friends at my old school."

"To let you know, kid, these are some of the best kids at this whole school," Tayuya said. "Most people here are shitheads, so you're lucky you got taken in by us."

Naruto laughed. "Can I hold him?" he asked, pointing to Tayuya's rat.

"Yeah, 'course you can," Tayuya said, taking a seat. Naruto picked him up and placed him on his head, where the rat stayed, peeking out through his blonde spikes. Haku laughed with Kin, and even Tayuya joined in a little.

"Is very funny!" he said. Hinata managed to smile a little.

"So, we going trick-or-treating tonight?" Tayuya asked.

"Yeah, so you decided to come?" Kin said.

Tayuya nodded. "Nothing better to do."

"Wait, you still trick-or-treat?" Naruto said, taking Hamelin off his head and holding him.

"Hell yeah!" Tayuya said. "Don't give me that 'I'm too old for it,' bullshit. You're never too old for trick-or-treating."

"Oh, I see!" said Naruto. "Then that's great! I thought that you guys wouldn't want to."

"We go together every year," said Kimimaro with a smile. "You want to come? We stay at Kin's house."

"Well, I'll call my dad," Naruto said, taking out his phone. A small keychain with Kenny from South Park hung on it.

"Got good taste," Tayuya remarked.

"Hey, dad! It's me. No, nothing's wrong. Yeah, listen, some friends of mine are going trick-or-treating tonight, can I go? Yeah, it's Kin, I went to her house to study once, remember? Hold on, lemme ask. Kin, are you parents going to be there?" he asked.

"Of course they are," Kin said. "They're super-strict, don't worry, nothing bad's gonna go down."

"Yeah, she's got her parents there," Naruto said. "Strict, she says. Really? Dad, you RULE. Yeah, I'll call you when I get there. You gonna pick me up when we're done? Great! Thanks dad, I'll call you when I get there!"

He turned off his cell phone and grinned. "I can go!"

"Right on!" said Kimimaro.

"SNOOCHIES TO THE BOOCHIES, MAN!" a loud familiar voice said.

"Happy Halloween to you too, Deidara," Kimimaro smiled.

"Greetings to you, man!" Deidara grinned, dressed as Jay and Sasori silently portraying Silent Bob. "I am Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate, Silent Bob."

"Nice costume, Deidara; ain't much of a stretch, huh?" Kin said.

"I does what I does, man," said Deidara. "So, we goin' trick-r'-treatin' tonight, man?"

"Sure are, Kimi's doin' the driving," Kin said.

"We're... going to have some fun... aren't we?" said Hinata, poking her fingers with a meek smile.

"Hells yeah!" Tayuya and Deidara said at the same time.

-///-

After school was over, they met in the parking lot and piled into Kimimaro's van, singing rather loudly and out of tune with the songs from Kin's iPod (her headphones doubled as speakers if the volume was turned up high enough) as he drove to Kin's house, laughing long and hard when Haku sang "London Calling" in his unmistakable accent.

When they reached Kin's house, they piled their backpacks at the door and her mother, Anko, came to greet them.

"Hey there!" she said. "How you guys doing, want some soda?"

"Yes please!" they answered promptly at the same time.

"Nice to see you here, Naruto," Anko smiled. "Glad you decided to come."

"Me too!" Naruto grinned.

"Who's for a game of Dance Dance?" Kin called, rushing towards her basement door.

"Ooh, mee, meeeeeee!" Deidara squealed, rushing down the stairs with inhuman speed. "I'll kick ALL y'all asses, man!"

"One thing, Deidara," Anko smiled, making her stop. She glared. "If you so much as smoke half a joint tonight, I'm calling the cops on you."

"Understood!" Deidara said, dashing back downstairs.

"When do you plan on going out?" Anko asked Kimimaro, who was slower than the rest and stayed behind.

"As soon as it gets dark," he said. "Naruto, wanna join them? I'm gonna get some snacks for us."

"Oh, no need," said Anko. "Go on, have some fun, I'll bring some chips and soda down."

"Yay!" Naruto yelled, and went in the basement, where Kin and Deidara were already facing off in an all-out Dance Dance battle.

-///-

When they returned later that night from Trick-or-Treating, their bags full of candy, they tried to decide what to do. It seemed a near unanimous decision that they watch scary movies; the trouble was deciding in what to watch.

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre, man!" Deidara called.

"No way, Saw's much better," Sasori said.

"Dammit... ummm... what about Seven?" Tayuya offered.

"Are you nuts? No!" Kin said, munching on a Crunch bar.

"May we watch... The Exorcist...?" Hinata said quietly. Everyone stared at her.

" 'the hell did you say?" Tayuya said.

"The Exorcist..." Hinata said. "I saw it... when I was six... with my cousin... I liked it a lot... I wasn't scared..."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Tayuya said. "Your brain's really fucked-up."

"Oh... I'm sorry... I didn't know you didn't like it..." Hinata said, poking her fingers together.

"Hey, I got an idea!" said Naruto. "Did you guys like The Sixth Sense?"

"Yeah! That's a great movie, man!" said Deidara.

"What about Signs?" Naruto said.

"Good as well, what are you getting at?" Kimimaro said.

"Hold on a minute, what about The Ring?" he said.

"I LOVE THAT MOVIE!" Kin said loudly, bits of chocolate flying out of her mouth.

"Well, we have till midnight. Why don't we watch all three, going from least scary to most scary?" Naruto said.

There was a little bit of silence as the idea dawned on them.

"Great idea, man!" said Deidara loudly, breaking the silence.

"That sounds wonderful," Kimimaro smiled. "Kin, do you have all of those?"

"Sure do, lemme get em!" she said.

"I haven't seen... The Sixth Sense... Is it good?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah, it's-" Naruto began, before Deidara shouted "BRUCE WILLIS IS A DEAD GUY, MAN!" Naruto laughed.

"What does that... mean...?" Hinata said.

"Nothing, nothing," said Naruto. "Oh look, here's Kin."

"Movie time!" she said, coming down the stairs with the DVDs, her mother following behind with an enormous bowl of popcorn.

-///-

When Yondaime showed up at midnight to collect Naruto (he had called after finishing the trick-or-treating route), he found them in the basement where they were huddled together, watching the end of The Ring, scared out of their wits. Everyone had horrified looks on their faces except Hinata, who was murmuring "She's going to get you... you can't escape... there's no use escaping..." which freaked everyone out even more.

Next  
- Turkey Day


	4. Turkey Day

Konoha High  
Chapter 4  
- Turkey Day -

Nearly a month had passed, and it was now the day before Thanksgiving Break, and everyone was a bit antsy in waiting for the approach of the long weekend. Naruto was enjoying classes quite a lot; he got fairly good grades in his subjects, and looked forward to Science, History and Lunch most of the time. Science was good, mostly because Hinata and Haku were in his class, and History, because Mr. Umino was a pretty nice guy who would help him out with homework, and it was pretty funny to see him get angry at Shikamaru every day.

Lunch was fun for obvious reasons; there was always something new to laugh at with his friends, and he really enjoyed being in their company.

Speaking of lunch, the cafeteria had cooked up something delicious in honor of Thanksgiving, and were offering it for free. Everyone went nuts and heaped loads of mashed potatoes and turkey on their plates. Everyone, that is, except Naruto. He had to stay behind for a few minutes because Ms. Yuhi made him run a lap around the gym for goofing off during class. Now finished with his punishment, he sprinted to the cafeteria and got himself a plate of food. A fat kid in front of him had piled what seemed like a foot of food on his tray, and both the server and Naruto had the same expression on their faces as he paid for the mountain of stuff.

"Back in the war," the server, Mr. Ibiki, said loudly, "we weren't allowed to take this kinda food! We had NOTHING but DIRT and BUGS to eat!"

Naruto winced and tried to ignore him (he made the mistake of talking to Mr. Ibiki one day in his first week, only to find himself being rambled to, until Deidara came in and hauled him away by the arm), but the kid, however, seemed unfazed; after paying, he went to go sit with Shikamaru. Naruto did the same, but was a bit confused when he found that he couldn't find where his friends were sitting.

He wandered around the tables with his tray, looking for a familiar face or Kimimaro's bright crocheted cap, but he found nothing. He was about to sit alone at an empty table, when he heard a rather growly voice.

"Hey, froshie-kid, you need some place to sit?"

He turned around and saw three older boys that seemed to be seniors sitting at a table, one of them he recognized as Zabuza, the gangsta Haku had a sort of crush on. The other two were decidedly different; one of them a strangely blue-skinned youth with a plaid flannel shirt on over a Nirvana one, the other one dressed in fairly normal clothes that strangely resembled Sasuke.

"Umm... well, I was gonna sit alone, but okay," said Naruto.

"Uhuh-huh-huh..." the blue-skinned boy laughed, as Naruto took a seat (it reminded him slightly of a character from one of his favorite cartoons).

"So, umm..." said Naruto, "thanks, I guess."

"No prob, I seen you 'round Haku a bunch," Zabuza said. "Youz a cool dude."

"Oh, umm, thanks," said Naruto, a bit embarrassed. "Well, I don't know you two."

"Oh, us?" the blue-skinned boy said. "Uhuh-huh... my name's Kisame Hoshigaki!"

"Oh... hi," Naruto said nervously. "Your skin... it's blue..."

"Yeah, cool, innit?" Kisame laughed. "It's a skin condition!"

"Whatever," the Sasuke lookalike said.

"Oh yeah, who are you?" Naruto asked him.

"That's Itachi Uchiha, he's my best buddy!" Kisame said, hugging Itachi around the shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Itachi said sourly, taking a bite of potato.

"Uchiha? Wait... are you Sasuke's brother?" Naruto said.

"As a matter of fact, I am," said Itachi coolly. "That's how I recognized you; you were in his diary."

"I... I was...?" Naruto stuttered, decidedly shocked by this revelation.

"Uhuh-huh-huh, I remember you got that out and read it to us," Kisame laughed, and began to quote. "'This new guy Naruto is a real idiot. He has blonde hair and these weird lines on his face. It's ugly. It looks like his parents dropped him on knives when he was a baby. I wish mine had done that to Itachi.' Right?"

"He... he said that about me...?" Naruto said, somewhat disturbed. Before anyone could reply, someone familiar finally showed up.

"Naruto! What are you doing over here?" It was Sasori, an apple in his hand with a large chunk missing.

"Oi, Saso! Whassap!" said Kisame loudly.

"Nothing; since when was _he _here?" Sasori said, pointing at Naruto.

"We let the dude sit wit us," Zabuza said. "Dawg looked lost."

"Well, he's found, now," Sasori said. "You. Come with me."

"Oh, well, thanks for letting me sit with you," Naruto said, taking his tray.

"No prob, dawg," Zabuza said. "Anytime."

"Laters, man!" Kisame said.

Sasori waved at them and dragged Naruto off by one arm. As soon as they were a safe distance away (the opposite wall of the cafeteria), Sasori just about blew up at him.

"What the hell were you thinking, sitting with those guys?" Sasori said, waving his apple around. "Do you have any idea who they were?"

"Umm... Sasuke's brother Itachi and Kisame an-" he began.

"That's not the point!" Sasori said, bonking him on the head with his half-eaten apple. "Those guys are the most popular men at Konoha High, and if you get on their bad side, you're basically screwed for life!"

"Oh, well, they seemed nice," Naruto said, scratching his head where Sasori had hit him.

"Hmm, well then, you may be a little safe," Sasori said. "Sasuke doesn't like you, does he?"

"No, not really..." said Naruto, an image of the emo sulking in a corner somewhere in his mind.

"Well, then maybe Itachi was being nice to you because Sasuke hates you," Sasori said, "and you're nice to Haku, so Zabuza likes you automatically. Kisame likes anyone Itachi likes and hates anyone Itachi hates. Meh, maybe you stand a chance."

Naruto just stared.

"Dei and I are friends of their's from wayyy back, so we're safe too. Huh," he continued. Sasori took another bite of his apple. "Come on, you, we're sitting over here."

Naruto obeyed without question, and noticed Kisame was waving at him and laughing with that ridiculous grin of his.

-///-

"So... you sat at the popular table...?" Hinata asked once Naruto had gotten back.

"Yeah, they didn't seem so bad," he said.

"Meh, Kee and Zee're the only real decent ones," Tayuya said. "Itachi's a real bastard, though."

"Sasuke's brother?" said Naruto. "Does it run in the family or something?"

"The Uchiha's aren't the nicest of people, it's kind of well-known," explained Kimimaro. "They're a family of policemen, so unless you're the trouble-making sort, I doubt you've heard of Police Chief Uchiha. I do believe Tayu knows them well."

He glanced at Tayuya, who took a large chug out of her soda and glared back. "Shut the fuck up, you." she growled.

"So, they said what?" Haku said. "Bad or good thing?"

"Mostly good things, they seemed to kinda like me," Naruto said.

"He's got some immunity, I guess," said Sasori, spinning his apple core on the table. "Sasuke hates him and Haku's friendly with him."

"Friendly? That means what?" said Haku.

"Nevermind, nevermind," Sasori said, not wanting to turn Haku into a blushing statue like he did whenever Zabuza was mentioned.

"Uh-oh, airheads at 12 'o clock," said Kin, hanging her headphones around her neck and sticking her fork in her styrofoam tray.

Ino and her gang walked by, each of them with a different food on their trays (which they planned to share).

"Watch this," Kin said, smirking. She slowly inched out her foot, and Ino tripped over it, mooshing mashed potatoes all over her front.

"OUH!" she exclaimed, letting the tray drop slowly off the potatoes clinging to her fluffy pink sweater.

"Ohhh... buuuuurrrnnnnn!" Zabuza said from far back in the cafeteria. Haku blushed intensely and his eyes were almost sparkling.

"He 'burned' Ino! So... amazing...!" he said.

"You... little... BITCH!" Ino screamed. "Look what you just did!"

Sakura and Sakon were the picture of shock, while snickers and suprised gasps were heard elsewhere around the cafeteria.

"I didn't do anything," Kin said. "You're the one who went and tripped over my foot, clumsy."

"Why I..." Ino said, her face becoming the picture of anger. She, the most popular girl in school, was being laughed at... by common people, underclassmen! In a fit of rage, she grabbed Kin's milk carton and dumped it on top of her head. There was silence for a while, while Kin looked at Ino, her face emotionless. Then, she spoke.

"You dumped... milk... all over... my... headphones..." she growled, glaring at Ino. "You... better... pay... for... these... if... they're... ruined!"

"Uh... oh..." Kimimaro said quietly.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Jesus, when Kin get's pissed, she REALLY get's pissed," said Tayuya. "Let's see what happens."

"Like I care, you ruined my shirt!" Ino shot back.

"A shirt's replaceable, these headphones cost 200 bucks!" Kin said, shaking her beloved, milk-covered Noise-Cancelling Stereo Headphones. "Are you telling me that a skimpy-ass shirt like that is more important than my headphones?!"

"Well, duh!" Ino said. "This is Chanel, dry-clean only!"

"Shut UP!" Kin said, grabbing a handful of Kimimaro's mashed potatoes and shoving them in her face. At that moment, all noise in the cafeteria stopped. Kin smirked while Ino slowly wiped potato out of her face. In retaliation, Ino grabbed some potato off her shirt and flung it at Kin, but missed and hit Tayuya instead.

It was a fatal mistake.

"You little BITCH!" Tayuya yelled. "How dare you fucking throw fucking goddamn potatoes at me! You're fucking gonna pay!"

She hurled a dinner roll at Ino, but it hit Sakon in the face, who threw his green beans blindly back, where they hit Chouji (the fat kid), who was sitting nearby.

"Nobody throws vegetables at meee!" he bellowed, and threw his entire tray in the air. "EWWWW!!!"

Then, an all-out brawl began.

"FOOOOOOOD FAHHHHHHHHHTT!!!" Kankuro yelled loudly, hurling his corn at Gaara, where it stuck in his hair.

"Bloody hell..." he said, taking the bits out, before smirking a little and sticking them in Lee's hair, who sat nearby and was shooting peas off his spoon like a sniper.

Food went flying everywhere; it was every man for himself, and nobody was safe. Shikamaru got nailed in the head by potatoes, but he merely wiped it off and sighed "So troublesome..." Neji, Hinata's cousin, was hunting her down with a vengeance, a tomato in his hand (where he got it, only god knows). Hinata, scared out of her wits, flung a baked potato at him, where it hit him squarely in the face. Deidara was running around the cafeteria like a madman, with her Tupperware lunch container of macaroni and cheese in one hand and a large spoon in the other, flinging it at random people, screaming "I AM TEH MACARONI FAIRY, MANNN!!!" Naruto, seeing his chance, took his brimming ramen cup and hurled it at Sasuke, who was sulking in a corner. It hit him directly on top of the head and stayed there, like a strange blonde wig. He wiped it away, disgusted, and proceeded to write in his diary:

_Dear Diary-chan,  
I just got nailed in the head with ramen. It was warm. Warm like the love I cannot feel. Nobody understands my pain!"_

Then, Mr. Ibiki burst out of the food line with a pot handle in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other, singing the William Tell Overture.

"EVERYBODY CHARGE!!!!" he called. Kidoumaru and Ten Ten, the star athletes of the school, each grabbed their backpacks and started splashing Gatorade at everyone, spreading blue and pink liquid everywhere and staining shirts. People were starting to barricade themselves behind overturned tables, grabbing all and any food they could get their hands on. Gaara and Lee set themselves behind a rectangular table, a bowl of peas between them and a spoon in their hands, sniping anyone who came remotely close to their barricade (Sasuke seemed a rather popular target among them). Ibiki ran to the kitchen and returned with a full cart that had a bowl of jello on one level and mashed potatoes on another, which made people go absolutely nuts. Things were flying everywhere; potatoes, vegetables, Jell-o, milk, juice, bread, turkey, bones, bananas, fruit; it was a food fight to end all food fights.

"What's going on here?" Principal Sandaime said, coming into the cafeteria. Kiba, who was struggling to free himself from Shino (who had been smearing Vegemite all over his face like war paint), tossed a hunk of turkey, where it hit the principal. Everyone stopped, encrusted with food and juice, horrified at what had happened.

"Now now, everyone," he smirked, reaching for a juice box on top of the trash. "A food fight is not truly a food fight unless the principal is involved!"

He hurled it into the air, and things began anew, Principal Sandaime nailing student after student after student with an excellent aim nobody expected from a man his age.

"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!"  
Out of what seemed like an eternity of fun, a loud bossy voice was heard.

It was Tsunade, school nurse and vice principal, and Jiriaya, head custodian of the school, a mop held commandingly in his hand.

"WHO STARTED THIS??" Tsunade roared, pointing to the mass of kids on top of tables and ducking under chairs.

In an almost impossible notion, everyone took a step aside. Everyone, that is, except Ino, who was complaining loudly about her ruined outfit and unaware of Tsunade's presence.

"YOU!" Tsunade bellowed. "YOU!"

"Me?" Ino said.

"YOU'RE coming with ME!" Tsunade yelled, stomping over to where Ino was, grabbing her by the arm, and taking her out of there. She glared at everyone.

"Principal Sandaime, you should be ashamed of yourself." she huffed.

The old man laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? It's fun!"

Tsunade sighed annoyedly and left, dragging Ino behind her.

"Awright, everyone out!" Jiraiya laughed. "Let's get you guys home and cleaned up, we'll have the place sparkling clean by tomorrow mornin'."

He tipped his cap at the dirty, food-encrusted kids who exited the room.

"Well, looks like my headphones're gonna be okay," Kin said, who had plugged them into her iPod and was listening to something.

"That's good..." said Hinata, flush with the excitement of hitting Neji with a potato, but also rather afraid he'd do something to her over break.

"That was _soo muuuch_ fuuuuun! " Naruto said. "I nailed Sasuke!"

"Good for you!" Tayuya said, giving him a noogie.

And as they excited the cafeteria, Naruto swore that he heard Kisame laughing with him.

-///-

Over break, the gang had some time alone. Tayuya dragged Deidara and Sasori with her when she went to volunteer at the homeless shelter, Kimimaro went to the hospital to help out and say hello to some of his old friends, and Hinata and Kin each had Thanksgiving with their families.

Naruto, however, had invited Haku to his house for his first Thanksgiving ever, and Haku happily accepted, voicing his enthusiasm for learning more about the American custom.

The night before Thanksgiving, as Yondaime was cooking the stuffing, he delivered some rather surprising news.

"Your mother's going to be joining us for Thanksgiving, I just heard."

"Really, Mom's coming??" Naruto said, excited. His mother was the head of a very successful gaming corporation, and had very little time to stay at home with her family, so any occasion where she could spend time with her husband and son was something of a special time.

"She sure is; she called yesterday while you were at school.""Great! That's awesome, I can't wait to see her again!" Naruto said, jumping up and down. "I'm gonna go down and play some Dead or Alive downstairs, okay, Dad?"

Yondaime nodded and closed the oven door, so Naruto ran down to play his fighter game until dinner was ready.

The next day, Naruto watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with his favorite penguin hat on, then took a shower and got dressed and ready for Haku's arrival.

Promptly at noon, Haku showed up with smiles and a gift cradled in his arms.

"What's this?" Naruto asked.

"Are you not supposed to bring gift for Thanksgiving?" Haku said, holding it out and grinning.

"Haha, so this is your Chinese friend?" Yondaime said, coming down the hall and greeting Haku. "Pleased to meet you; I'm Naruto's father, Yondaime. It's pleasant to meet you."

"A pleasure to meet you too, sir!" Haku said, bowing and firmly shaking Yondaime's hand. "Here, I bring gift for happy Thanksgiving!"  
Yondaime laughed. "We normally don't bring gifts for Thanksgiving. Haku, was it?"

"Yes, that is my name," Haku said. "Oh, gift is not necessary? That is okay, I hope you enjoy anyway."  
Yondaime went to the living room and set it on the coffee table.

"You can take off your shoes, if you want," Naruto said. "I'm glad you could come!"

"I am glad too!" Haku smiled. "You have such beautiful house! I much admire!"

"Thanks!" Naruto laughed, going down the hall and into the kitchen. "My mom's coming soon, I hope you don't mind."

"Your mother?" Haku said, following him. "I not hear of your mother yet, I very eager to meet her!"

"Yeah, she's cool," Naruto said. "Wanna go play some games?"

"Play games? Oh yes, I would much like that," Haku said. "Let us go!"

The two played for a while, when Naruto heard the door to the garage open and close.

"Mom!" he yelled, dropping his controller and dashing upstairs. Haku quickly turned off the PS2 in a swift fluid motion, following his friend upstairs.

There stood Kyuubi Uzumaki, Naruto's mother, taking off her bright red peacoat.

"Mom!" Naruto said again, giving her a big hug.

"Hey there, hun!" she said, hugging him back. "Oh god, you've gotten so big! Look at you!" She smiled, then noticed Haku standing nearby. "Who's that?" she asked.

"Oh! Haku, this is my mom. Mom, this is Haku, the foreign exchange student from China at my school," Naruto said.

"Ohhh! What a cute girl!" Kyuubi said, rushing towards Haku and giving him a big hug.

"I am boy," Haku stated, his face turning a little red. "Why you think I am girl?"

"You're a boy?" Kyuubi said, looking at him a bit more closely, her amber-brown eyes scanning him. "Well, I never! I guess you really are a boy!"

Haku laughed. "Is not first time, Principal Sandaime thought I was girl when first looking," he said, his face bright red.

"So, honey, how was Tokyo?" Yondaime said.

"Boring, as usual," Kyuubi replied. "I got to meet with Square-Enix again, it was just meetings and nothing really interesting."

"Awww..." said Naruto. "So no new info on KH2?"

"Nope, nothin', sweetpea," Kyuubi said, smiling at her son. "Well, it's Thanksgiving, ain't it? When're we eating?"

"As soon as the turkey's done," Yondaime said, leaning over and looking at the oven.

"How long's that?" Naruto asked.

"About... another hour," Yondaime approximated. "We should be eating around then."

"Great! That is good, I very excited for that!" Haku said. "Shall we go back to game downstairs, Naruto?"

"Yeah! Let's go!"

Kyuubi watched the two of them race down the stairs. "So, he got himself some friends, huh?" she smiled. "I'm glad for him. That girl's a nice one, I can tell."

"Isn't Haku a boy?" Yondaime said, standing next to her.

"I'm not so easily fooled," she smirked, looking at her husband, and smooching him on the cheek, leaving a large kiss mark there. "Never you mind that, dear; let's whip some potatoes, hmm?"

When the turkey was ready, they ate, and had a very interesting discussion on the peculiarities of the English language.

"I find it very strange," Haku said towards the end of the meal, "that meat of cow is called 'ham burger', when it is clearly not meat of pig!"

Naruto couldn't remember seeing his mother laugh so hard; she was still snorting over it as they laid out their sleeping bags in the basement for a Hayao Miyazaki movie marathon.

Haku left the next morning, and while Naruto cleaned the basement, he remembered that his father had never opened the gift he had brought.

Inside the little red box was a silver picture frame, a picture of them all covered in mashed potatoes and gravy after the food fight (Deidara, he later found out, had taken a picture after the incident and developed it).

He put it on his desk and smiled, then laughed at the ridiculous looks on their faces.

Next  
- The 13 Pains of Holiday


	5. The 13 Pains of Holiday

Konoha High  
Chapter 5  
- The 13 Pains of Holiday -

Naruto groaned.

It was a few days before Winter Break was due to start, and he still hadn't gotten a present for the Secret Santa he and his friends were doing.

A week earlier, Kimimaro had taken off his hat and placed names in it. Everyone drew a name and agreed to get a present for that person for the day before Winter Break began, for whatever holiday they celebrated. Naruto had drawn Hinata's name, and had no idea what to get for her.

He didn't know whether or not she was into video games or books or makeup, so he was in a bit of a bungle.

He stood in the middle of the books, counting his twenty dollars of change over and over again, wondering what to do. Then, he heard something rather odd.

"Naruto? Naruto Uzumaki?"

It was Sakon's voice. He froze and began to slowly move away.

Just don't react, don't react, he'll leave you alone if you leave him alone... he thought.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked. "Hey!"

Naruto was on the verge of running, when he felt a hand on his shoulder and froze.

"Wait, do you think I'm Sakon?" he asked.

What kind of stupid question is that? Naruto thought. He nodded.

"Haha, nothing to fear! Look at my nails, do they look manicured to you?" he said. Naruto looked at the hand on his shoulder and was a bit surprised to find that instead of finding the well-manicured, purple, shiny nails that belonged to Sakon, these were plain and looked a bit chewed-on. He turned around and saw a rather humble-looking version of Sakon, his eyes half-closed and a sleepy smile on his face.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"Oh, my apologies," he said, removing his hand and closing his eyes with a smile. "I am Ukon, Sakon's twin brother. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you."

"Ukon?" Naruto said, a bit confused. "How come I've never heard of you?"

"I got sick a little bit before you came to Konoha High," Ukon explained. "Mono and pneumonia, I get sick really easily. Kin and Kimi told me lots about you, so it's really rather interesting that I meet you here."

"Yeesh, you okay?" Naruto asked. Ukon nodded.

"I should be able to go back on Monday," he said. "Well, what are you doing here?"

"I'm... getting a Secret Santa present," Naruto said.

"Oh? Who for?" Ukon asked. Naruto didn't respond. "Is it for me?" he asked.

"Noooo..." Naruto said.

"Who, then?" Ukon said. No reply. "Is it a girl?" A nod. "Who?" No reply. "Is it Hinata?"

"How did you know?" Naruto said, rather shocked. Ukon laughed.

"It was process of elimination. If you had Kin or Tayuya to buy for, then you'd have gotten something by now," he said. "Well, I can help you, if you want."

"Help me with what?" Naruto said.

"I think I know what Hinata would want for a present," Ukon smiled. "Want to see?"

"Well, I got nothing else to do," Naruto said, and shrugged. "I guess."

"Okay, follow me," Ukon smiled, taking Naruto's hand and walking at a surprisingly fast pace through the store for someone who looked so frail. Soon they came to an aisle filled with different mugs and cups stacked on the shelves.

"A cup?" Naruto said. "Why?"

"You'll see, pick one you think she'd like," Ukon said.

"Why? How'd I know what-" Naruto began, but was interrupted.

"Just think of her, something'll come to mind," he said. Naruto sighed and thought of the shy girl he was shopping for, when instantly, something came to mind.

"This one!" he said, picking a small one with a pattern of rabbits and flowers on it.

"Good choice," Ukon smiled. "Now for the next part."

He took Naruto to another section of the store where the seeds and gardening supplies were kept, and instantly, Naruto knew what he was supposed to do.

He grinned and looked forward to Hinata's reaction when he gave her his gift.

-///-

It was a festive day at Konoha High, the day before Winter Break was set to begin. Naruto got out of his father's car and gently held the package for Hinata in his arms as he made his way to his locker. Taped to the outside was a small, blue fishnet bag filled with chocolate coins and a note that read "Happy Hanukkah, from Kabuto."

Ah, so he's Jewish? thought Naruto, opening his locker and placing the coins and Hinata's present inside. Smiling, he walked cheerily to Mr. Hatake's class, to find everyone crowded around the blackboard at the front of the class.  
Written in brightly-colored chalk was this message: "MR HATAKE IS THE SHIZNATCH! MERRY CHRISTMAS, BIOTCHES!"

Signed at the bottom in graffiti-like letters was "ZABBY" "Straight-up from the ghetto" written in small letters beneath.

"Ahh, so he's been here, I see," said Mr. Hatake, sighing and erasing the message. "All right, everyone to their seats. Haku, you too."

Haku was a bit forlorn that Zabuza's message had been erased, but sat down next to Naruto anyways. "I very excited for gift exchange today," he said cheerily. "Are you?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I can't wait to see what I got."

Hinata peeped and poked her worn fingers together. Naruto looked at her strangely, then returned to the lesson.

As the day went on, Gaara gave him a small bar of dark chocolate and Sasuke gave him a dirty look and a scribble in his journal, but Naruto had received nothing else. When lunch finally rolled around, he made a quick trip to his locker and got Hinata's present, before getting some lunch and joining everyone at the table. A large cluster of gifts were present, as was Ukon, who looked tired as usual.

"Oy, Merry Christmas!" Tayuya said, giving him a thumb's-up. Hamelin peeped out of her hair (which now had small green streaks dyed in it, in honor of the occasion), showing he was in the festive mood as well, with a miniature Santa hat stuck on his head.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas!" Naruto smiled. "So, are we supposed to put the presents here?"

"Yup!" said Kimimaro. "With you, we have everyone."

Naruto grinned and placed his box with the pile.

"Okay, I'll shuffle them around and give them to everyone," said Kimimaro. "Close your eyes!"

Everyone did so, and when they opened them, various packages of different size were at each place. Naruto's was covered in tissue paper and looked rather squishy to the touch.

"Okay, who first?" Kimimaro asked.

"Me, meee!" Deidara said excitedly.

"All right, all right," Kimimaro laughed. "You and Sasori are the oldest here, after all."

Deidara grinned and ripped open the flat rectangular package in front of her. Her eyes lit up.

"PLAYBOY AND PLAYGIRL, YEAH MAANN!" she squealed.

"Haha, I knew you'd like that," Ukon smiled.

"Dude, porn?" Naruto said, looking confusedly at the magazines. "Dude, Dei, are you bisexual or something?"

"Sorrrta," Deidara said, giggling. "I guess you haven't figured it out yet, man. I'm a hermaphrodite, man!"

"Hermah... frodite...?" Naruto said confusedly. Kin looked at him oddly, wondering how he knew what bisexual meant, but didn't know about hermaphrodites.

"It means that Dei's both a guy _and_ a girl," Sasori explained. "She was born that way."

"Woah, woah!" Naruto said, really shocked. "So like..."

"Yeah, that's right, man," Deidara said, grinning, then pouting. "I only wish I had bigger boobs to make up for my tiny-"

"Oookay, that's enough," Sasori said, covering Dei's mouth. "No need to go into details..."

"Okay, man," Deidara said. "Yeah. You can go on calling me a girl, I'm comfortable with either, man. Go ahead and call me an 'it' if you wanna, man!"

Naruto laughed. "Naw, I won't change," he said, then looked at Ukon. "So that's what you were buying when I met you!"

"What can I say, it's legal for me," he smiled. "I'm 18, after all."

"Whee! Thanks, man!" Deidara laughed. "Saso, your turn, man!"

Sasori opened his box and smiled. "New tools, all right!" he laughed. It was a well-known fact that Sasori was an avid member of Wood Shop that churned out several projects every week, and was the pride of the craft club. He frequently wore out his screwdrivers and ratchets, and the new set he had just received looked like they'd last quite a while. He grinned and rubbed the shiny steel with his hands, before saying "Tayu, your turn."

Tayuya eyed the large flat square she had been given and ripped open the paper, gasping.

"NO FUCKING WAY!" she screamed, finding a vintage vinyl recording of the Ramone's first album. "RAMONES??? OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHO FUCKING GOT THIS FOR ME?"

Sasori smirked and turned away, pretending to look at one of his new screwdrivers. Tayuya was on him immediately. "You little bastard, thanks!" she laughed, giving him a big hug.

"Jeeze, that must have cost hundreds," Kin said, looking over the album.

"HANDS OFF, BITCH!" Tayu yelled, grabbing the precious record back, to Kin's mild shock.

"Actually, it was in my attic, and I thought you'd like it," Sasori smiled. "Merry Christmas, Tayu."

Tayuya laughed. "Yeah, you too. Hmm, Kimi, you wanna go next?"

"Sure," Kimimaro said, and reached into his bag. "Ahh, 'Knotty Dreads' Shampoo, I needed this! Thanks! Kin, you next."

"Okay," Kin said, opening the suspiciously CD-shaped package. Inside was an album, and Kin's eyes lit up.

"Oh god, Kimi, you did _not_!" she said, reaching into her backpack and taking out her CD player. She plugged in her headphones and popped in the CD, and her eyes lit up as she looked on the display.

"DUUUDE!" she squealed. "NICKEL CREEK!!! KIMIMARO, I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU."

She went off to her own little world, before Kimimaro gently nudged her and asked who she wanted to have open their gift next.

"Oh, umm... Hinata," she said, before going off and quietly singing to herself.

"Oh... yes, I'll open mine..." Hinata said, and Naruto grinned. Inside her box was the rabbit and flower mug, with a small daisy growing out of it, a ribbon tied to its stem.

"Oh... that's so pretty..." she said, blushing. Naruto saw her eyes light up and smiled; he was glad she liked it. "Thank you... I'll take good care of it...!" She looked around. "Haku... you can open your gift now..." she said.

Haku nodded and opened the box, to find a picture frame decorated with brass Dali-esque elephants on stilts, with a picture of canaries painted inside. Several people looked at the strange, surreal gift that would be painful for an average person to pretend to like. Haku's reaction surprised them.

"Wow! So beautiful, I much like!" Haku said, a genuine smile on his face. "Thank you! Ukon may open present now!"

Ukon smiled his sleepy smile and opened his box to find a soft Winnie the Pooh plushie. He laughed. "Who knew I loved Pooh? Thank you so very much. Naruto, you're the only one left, why don't you go?"

Naruto nodded and ripped open his package to find a hand-knit, snow-white scarf, when he realized something. Hinata had gone bright red and was poking her worn fingers together; she had been knitting it all week, wearing down her fingers.

"Wow... thanks, Hinata! I love it!" he said, grinning. Hinata peeped and looked up a little.  
"You're... very welcome...!" she said, attempting to smile, but finding herself too bashful to do anything noticable.

"Well, that's all done with!" Kimimaro said. "Wasn't that fun?"

"Hell yeah!" Tayuya said, hugging her new album.

"Hey look, the emo emu's getting a present," Kin said, stopping her singing and pointing at Sasuke, who was sulking nearby as Ino approached him.

"Sassuukeeeee, I got you a preseeeent!" she said, her voice sickeningly sweet. The emo looked up at her through his bangs. She handed him a box and pranced off.

"Enjoy it, my dearr!" she said, blowing a kiss."Fuckin' disgustin'," Tayuya said, glaring at her.

Sasuke looked at the box and was about to lift the lid when Sakura approached him.

"Uh-oh, the poser's gonna get shot down," Kin said. "Poor thing, I pity her."

"Umm... umm... hi, Sasuke..." she said, becoming nearly as shy as Hinata for a moment. "I got you... this shirt... because I thought... you'd like it..."

"..." said Sasuke, glaring at her.

"Well, here you go," Sakura said, giving him a bag. "Merry Christmas!"

"I'm an atheist, you loser," Sasuke replied.

"Oh, well... I still hope you like it!" Sakura said.

"Whatever," said Sasuke, and trudged off with packages in hand. Sakura stood there, frozen.

"He actually... talked to me...!" she gasped.  
"Get over yourself, you loser," Kin said softly, putting her music on again.

"What is it about that guy?" Naruto asked.

"Hell if I know," Tayuya said.

"I think he's a boring dude, man," Deidara said plainly.

"Sakuraaaa!" a fancy voice sang. Kin began to laugh.

"Oh dear lord, it's Lee," she giggled. "He's got something for Sakura."

"Lee likes Sakura?" Naruto said.

"Yeah, he's got quite a crush on her," Kimimaro said. "Unfortunately, she doesn't return his feelings. Let's see what happens!"

"Ughh, leave me alone, you loser!" Sakura said, folding her arms annoyedly.

"Aww, don't be so cruel!" Lee said, and grinned. "I got you this book, I thought you'd like it!"

"I don't like books, who do you think I am?" Sakura said, obviously lying; whenever Ino wasn't around, she'd curl up with her nose in a book and a smile on her face. When Ino _was_ around, however, she'd pretend to be the dumbest girl around, so Ino could bask in superiority.

"Awww, but I thought you'd really like this one!" Lee said. "Well, no fear! Maybe you'll read it sometime later!"

He gave her the book with a grin, and she looked at it disgustingly.

"Merry Christmas, my Sakura!" he sang, and skipped off to the other end of the cafeteria, where Gaara sat. Sakura watched him leave, a perplexed look on her face.

"Loser..." she said quietly, and looked at the book. "'Abarat', huh? Hmm..."

She pouted and began to walk away.

"Looks stupid," she said, but opened the book and began to read anyway.

"Such a poser," Tayuya laughed. "She likes him, it's so fucking obvious."

"Love is very strange," Haku observed wisely. And right at that very moment, love showed up.

"Yo, iz Haku here?"

Zabuza had shown up at the table, holding a box. Haku froze, looking at him, his face gone completely white.

"Yeah, he's right here, man," said Deidara. "What is it, man?"

"A very Merry Christmas to youz, or whateva," Zabuza said, giving Haku the box. "I'd like to see youz wearin' it sometime, 'kay?"

Haku nodded very slowly, and Zabuza turned to leave. "Later, bitches."

"Duuude," Tayuya laughed. "Did he just give you a present?"

Haku nodded slowly again.

"Well, open it!" Naruto said. "What do you think he got you?"

Tentatively, Haku opened the box to find tissue paper. Underneath was something they didn't expect.

"Hooker clothes!" Kin laughed. "He got you hooker clothes!"

Haku held up the racy outfit and looked at it strangely.

"Dude, he must think you're a girl, man," Deidara laughed. "Nice design, though. Looks like he made it himself."

Haku was still silent.

"You gonna return it to him?" Kimimaro said. Haku shook his head.

"No..." he said finally. "Is gift from Zabuza, I must accept."

He slowly put the outfit back in the box, and didn't say a word for the rest of the day.

Tayuya, however, began to sing some very inappropriate Christmas carols, and succeeded in making most of the cafeteria start singing:

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaay!".

Unfortunately, Tsunade came and broke up the fun, but not before a final stirring chorus of "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear".

Next  
- Auld Lang Syne


	6. Auld Lang Syne

Konoha High  
Chapter 6  
- Auld Lang Syne -

"FOR THE WIIIN!"

Naruto was playing World of Warcraft on his computer, absolutely hyper on at least one bottle of Mountain Dew and racking up experience points like a devil.

"WHEEE! YEAH! I PWNED YOU! PWNED, I SAY!"

"Naru! Get down here, your friends are waiting!" he heard his mom say.

"Mooooooom!" he whined, moving his character around on the screen.

"Your girlfriend Haku's been asking for you since she got here!" Kyuubi said.

"MOM! Seriously! Haku's a boy!" said Naruto angrily. His mother sighed loudly.

"I'm going to disconnect your wireless network, Naru!" she said annoyedly. Naruto had exited the game and was down the stairs faster than you could say "caffeine."

"There you are," she said, straightening his orange sweater.

"Mooooom..." he whined.

"Now, go on down, have some fun," she said. "I might come down now and again."

"Mmkay," Naruto said, and ran down the stairs and to the basement.

Naruto's parents were hosting a rather large New Years party at their "estate" (as his mother liked to jokingly say, although it was rather truthful) for some of their friends. Naruto found out through talk at lunch and class that practically everyone he knew was going to be there, so a party in the basement for the "kids" was arranged. Since Kimimaro and Ukon were supervising, nothing bad was going to go down. Soda and juice were abundant, and chips, salsa and popcorn were free to grab on the tables.

"Hey, Naru!" Kin said, waving at him. "Killer party, things are going great!"

Naruto laughed and waved back. "My mom called Haku my girlfriend, is that embarrassing or what?"

Kin laughed. "Easy mistake to make," she said. "Did you see what he's wearing?"

Naruto shook his head. "I just got down here."

"C'mere," she said, grabbing him and going over to where Haku was standing.

He was in a rather slim Santa outfit with an attractive fur trim and belt.

"Ah, Happy New Year to you!" he said.

Naruto laughed. "Haku, where'd you get that outfit?"

"From foster brother! He lend me for night," Haku smiled. "He is here tonight, you know. Do you wish to meet him?"

"Your foster brother?" Naruto said. "He's here? Sure, why not?"

"Okay!" Haku smiled. "Sai-gege! Come here, I want you to meet Naruto!"

"Haah?" a pleased voice said. Out of the crowd came an older boy with a rather scandalous outfit that revealed his well-defined stomach muscles and big, round lips, who put his arm on Haku's shoulder. His skin was the palest Naruto had ever seen, nearly pure white.

"Ah, is this the cute boy you're always talking about: Naruto?" he said, enunciating his words in the stereotypical "gay" fashion. "Hi, I'm Sai! Haku's foster brother?"

"A pleasure to meet you," Naruto said, somewhat coldly; needless to say, he felt uncomfortable.

"He's pretty cute," Sai smiled. Naruto froze a little bit.

"Sai-gege, please refrain from such behavior," Haku smiled. "I do not think that it is very... what is word... appropriate?"

"I understand," Sai said. "Well, I gotta go play some Twister with some people, I heard they laid down a mat somewhere. Catch you cutiepies later!"

With a girlish wave, Sai was gone.

"Is he not nice?" Haku smiled. "He is most kind to me."

"Umm... yeah," Naruto said, although in his gut, he didn't feel like he could trust Sai that much.

"Twenteh twenteh twenteh four hours to goooo, I WANNA BE SEDATED!" Tayuya's loud screech was heard over the karaoke machine's microphone as she crooned with the Ramones.

"Hello there, how long till midnight?" Kimimaro asked, joining them.

"Hi Kimi, umm... about 5 minutes," Kin said, looking at her watch. "Anything to do until then?"

"Umm.. there's Twister in the other room, and obviously some karaoke," he said. "I think someone wanted to do some charades, but he got booed away. And the adults are dancing upstairs."

"Ha, typical," Kin laughed.

"I am going to go somewhere, please excuse," Haku smiled, and walked off.

He stood in the corner and watched the party for a second. Sai had gotten a party hat and was off to play Twister, and Naruto was talking with Kin and Kimimaro. Hinata was watching Naruto from somewhere, and Sakura and Ino were fighting for Sasuke's attention. Judging by the look of things, Haku decided it was going to be a good year.

"Hiya, boo," said a deep, familiar voice. Haku froze.

It was Zabuza, standing above him with a smile on his face and a party hat cocked on one side of his head.

"Havin' a good new year?" he asked. Haku nodded slowly. "Youz a pretty young thang, why you standin' all by ysself?" he asked.

"SHINO GET YOUR HEAD THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BUTT!" Kiba yelled.

"Youz too pretty to be here alone witout someone t'kiss at midnight." He said, leaning in closer. "It's an American custom or whateva…so, wanna be mah girl?"

"I… I am sorry, I…" Haku began, but stopped. The countdown was beginning, and people were screaming their lungs out as the new year approached.

"FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!"

Zabuza kissed Haku on the forehead, and time seemed to stop, even while people were screaming "HAPPY NEW YEAR!". Haku just stood there, unmoving, the first kiss he had received from anyone, male or female. He was going to say something, when...

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, DEIDARA!" Tayuya yelled.

Deidara was "drunk" on the non-alcoholic champagne and had attempted to lesbian-kiss Tayuya, who outright turned her down with a boot to the face. "Next time you try that, you fuckin' DIE!"

"Ehehe, it's worth it, man!" Deidara laughed. Sasori sniffed, not very amused.

"Gaa!" Lee said, leaning on Gaara, who was calmly sipping some egg nog, (a bit tipsy because he presumed the champagne wasn't just sparkling juice). "For our... new year! We will make... beautiful music togezah!"

"Git yer hands off mah baby brutha!" Temari said, pounding her fist in his head.

"Bloody hell..." Gaara said, stalking off.

"DANCE-OFF!" someone suddenly yelled.

"Ah, I gotz t'be thar," Zabuza said. "Happy New Yearz, boo."

As Zabuza left to have a breakdancing contest with Kidoumaru, Haku leaned against the wall, slid to the bottom and sat. He then began to blush and giggled like a giddy school girl.

"Hey, what's going on in the closet?" Kin said, making a little attention to the rustling going on that was beginning to become audible.

"I dunno, man," said Deidara. "Let's look!"

She and Tayuya slowly snuck up on the closet, and flung it wide open to find Dosu and Zaku making out.

"OMIGOD!" Tayuya screeched. Deidara began to take some pictures.

"Hey, guys, can I join you, man?" Deidara laughed.

"HELL NO," Zaku said sourly, and slammed the door in their faces.

"What the-" said Naruto.

"Can I have have copies of those?" said Tayuya (it was a well-known fact that she collected gay porn and had an extensive collection of yaoi doujinshis her older brother Guzo had gotten for her in Japan).

Deidara nodded and laughed. "Sure, copies for anyone who wants them, man!"

The bassline for "Stayin' Alive" by the Beegees began to play upstairs as the adults launched a round of karaoke with Mr. Might.

"OMIGOD I LOVE THIS SOOONG...!" Lee said, tottering to the stairs to cheer on his idol. Unfortunately for him, Mr. Might was booed off the stage before he could get to the second chorus (he was freaking out some people). Mr. Hatake decided to give it a try with "Smoke on the Water", but everyone started laughing their heads off at his less-than-professional singing (although Mr. Umino was clapping and whistling). By this time, several of the kids had lined up at the end of stairs to watch the spectacle.

The night ended with a bang as Jiraiya the custodian (whom Naruto later found out was a close friend of his father's) sang a rousing chorus of "What's New, Pussycat?" almost exactly like Tom Jones.

Naruto went to bed at 3 in the morning after all the guests had left, dreaming of fighting ninja pirate wizard monkey fairy pancakes, but could have sworn that near his waking, the dream had changed into one where he, Sasuke, and Sakura were trying to get bells from Mr. Hatake.

Next  
- Foreign Exchange: Fist of the Rabbit!


	7. Foreign Exchange!  Fist of the Rabbit

Konoha High  
Chapter 7  
- Foreign Exchange: Fist of the Rabbit! -

It had been a few weeks since New Years, and the second half of the school year had begun with the completion of Finals. Haku had done well (upholding his 4.0 GPA), but his mind was on other things, namely the surprising kiss Zabuza had given him on New Years.

"Sai-gege?" he asked one night, writing a letter to his parents in the room he shared with his foster brother during the long weekend that came after Finals were over.

"Mm?" Sai said.

"I am very confused on something," he said. "There is someone who I believe likes me for something I am not, and I do not know how to react."

"Aww, honey, is that why you've been down?" Sai said, looking away from his magazine. "I noticed that you've been rather sad and quiet lately. Why does this 'someone' like you?"

"I do not know," Haku said, holding his legs close to his body. "I do not understand much about him; he does not talk to me very much. I do admire him, I do, but I do not know what exactly he thinks of myself."

"So it's a boy, then?" Sai said. Haku pulled his legs closer and nodded, his face growing red.

"Well, here's what I think, darling," Sai said, getting up and leaning close to Haku, putting a hand gently on his shoulder. "Have you said anything to him yourself?"

Haku shook his head.

"Well, that's the first thing you need to do to solve this problem, sweetie," he said. "_Talk_ to him. Let him know how _you_ feel, because you haven't said yet. Maybe then you can understand."

Haku nodded and Sai smiled.

"As soon as you talk to him, lemme know what he says, okay? I wanna know _all_ the juicy details," he said.

"Juicy?" Haku said, returning to his letter. "In what way are details juicy?"

"Nevermind, you," Sai said, getting back to his mag.

-///-

When school started again after the weekend, Haku did his work in class emotionlessly the entire week, thinking of how he could approach Zabuza but not draw attention to either of them. Naruto didn't notice the change much; he was busy writing down notes in Science class, and Haku didn't feel like talking much anyways.

But what complicated things, however, was that Zabuza was nowhere to be seen, which made Haku a little bit worried; had something happened to him? After school was over, he would get his books and looked around in the hallways for a bit (he lived not too far from the school and could easily walk home anytime he wanted).

On Friday (the 13th of January), he decided to gather up the courage and asked Deidara and Kisame if they knew where he was, but neither of them knew where he had been.  
However, he was about to give up, when the shy member of the Gardening Club, Zetsu (who met Haku in the halls, on his way to transfer some seedlings that were growing in a science room to the greenhouse), said that he had seen Zabuza earlier that week arguing with some people downtown about something he supposedly owed. Because Zetsu himself lived close to the slums of Konoha, he told Haku that Zabuza used to be a member of a rather notorious gang called the Mist Brothers, but only recently had left them, and the gang still held a grudge.

"It would be best not to interfere..." he said. "Those guys are really tough, and they wouldn't go easy on kids like us..."

"I understand fully," said Haku. "Thank you for warning me, but I am determined to make sure Zabuza is okay."  
Zetsu nodded and went on his way, so Haku went home, asking Sai for a ride to downtown Konoha. Of course, Sai couldn't say "no", eager to aid his "younger brother's" love life.

"I'll come pick you up when you call, but it's dangerous down here, you sure you're gonna be okay?" he asked, after Haku exited the car. He nodded.

"Don't worry, Sai-gege. I will return home safely with you after I finish what is to be done," he smiled. Sai gave a wave of his hand and drove off, leaving Haku standing on the sidewalk.

He was a little scared, no doubt, but Haku was determined to find Zabuza, no matter what.

However, fate was on his side, in more ways than one.

He hadn't walked for long, when he heard a struggle coming from an alley not far from where he stood. He slowly crept up to it, to find Zabuza being confronted by a short man with glasses, and four others who looked rather dangerous.

"Okay, Zabuza, time to pay wut you owe," the short man said. "Nobody leave da Mist Bruddahs and not regret it."

"Yea, I knowz," Zabuza said. "Butcha know? I dun regret it. I gotta real job now, I wanna git into a college. I want a real life and stuff."

"Puss," one of the men said, kicking him in the shin. "Ain't nobody wanna go to a college."

"Shit, dat place only good for pickin' up bitches," another man said.

Zabuza said nothing, standing resolutely.

"So, we ready to deal out da punishment, boyz?" the short man said.

The members of the gang snickered and cracked their knuckles. Zabuza didn't move, and received the damage given to him. Haku watched in horror as they punched and kicked him, one even taking out a switchblade and placing a rather nasty cut on his arm.

"Dere, a battle scar, how you like that?" one man said. "Y'think he's had enough?""Yeah, dawg's learned his lesson," another said, spitting on him. Zabuza leaned against the brick wall and collapsed, making Haku gasp.

"Let's git outta here," the short man said, walking out of the alley. Thankfully, Haku had gotten far enough away from them so that they didn't see him. Thoughts bounced in his head.

What should I do? he thought. Zabuza was hurt badly, but I do not think it right that his gang was not punished as well! Oh goodness...

He thought for a while, very perplexed, until he took a deep breath and decided what to do.

Picking up the pace, he sprinted to the gang and tapped the short man on the shoulder. He turned around.

"Eh? Whozzis?" he said, taking a good look at Haku.

"Excuse me, good sirs, are you the ones who brutally punished Zabuza earlier?" he said politely.

"Dis must be his bitch," one of the gang members said quietly. "The asian chick I heard about."

"What's it to ya?" the short man said.

"I do believe that punishment deserves punishment," Haku smiled.

"Hey, bitch, you'd best get outta our way," the short man said. "You don't stand a chance against us, and we hate hurtin' pretty chicks like you."

"You shall suit yourself," Haku smiled. The short man sniffed and began to walk away, but Haku grabbed his arm and squeezed hard. He winced in pain; Haku had a hard grip, a _very_ hard one.

"I was not done speaking to you," Haku said, smiling. "I do believe that a punishment is in order."

"Why you little-" one man began, but was knocked out by a swift kick to the head from Haku's right foot. What the gang members did not realize, as they tried to attack Haku, was that Haku was a master of several forms of martial arts, due to the training he had practically received since he could walk from his father. Within seconds, Haku had them all sprawled out on the sidewalk, their noses bloody and the wind knocked out of their chests.

"Bai Family Technique: Fist of the Rabbit," he said, brushing off his coat. "I hope you have learned your lesson." He picked up the short man and stared him straight in the face. "And please refrain from calling me 'bitch'; I am a boy."

Piling them against the wall, Haku stepped into a convenience store and politely asked the clerk to call the police and have the gang arrested. But then, he realized that Zabuza was probably still in the alley, and quickly rushed to where he was last seen.

There he was, still sitting against the wall, bruised and battered. Haku quietly approached him. He seemed to be speaking Korean in a very angry, pissed-off way, and was obviously in a lot of pain.

Haku paused for a moment, then spoke. "Excuse me."

Zabuza looked up. "Haku, whatchu doing here?" he asked, a bit surprised and embarrassed at his state.

"I was worried about you," Haku said. "I heard you were in state of trouble, so I come to look for you. I saw your gang fighting you, and I dealt punishment back towards them."

Zabuza looked shocked, and immediately, Haku felt embarrassed.

"I am sorry if that is not what you wanted, please forgive me," he said.

"You... you fought the Mist Brothers?" Zabuza said.

Haku nodded. "They are to be taken into custody soon."

"Wow... I... I dunno what to say, I mean..." Zabuza said, not quite sure what to say, "nobody evah stood up for me before, it wuz always me and me alone. Huh,"

He tried to get up, but Haku stopped him. "Please! Do not move...you are badly hurt, I will bring you to hospital so you receive adequate care," he said, offering his hand. "Here, I help you walk."

Zabuza looked at the sad, lovely person offering help with a slender hand, and he took it. Haku slung Zabuza over his shoulder and proceeded with him to the hospital. Not surprisingly, he had to receive stitches on his arm where Zouri had cut him. Haku stayed with him the entire time, talking so the pain wasn't as bad. Zabuza laughed and smiled and enjoyed the company; he hadn't had someone treat him that fairly in a long while.

After his treatment was finished, the two walked out of the hospital. The street lights had come on, and people were walking home from their jobs to their apartments.

"Ah, I must go soon," Haku said. "My foster brother will be most worried if I do not call for much longer."

"Dat's okay," said Zabuza. "Heh, you know today's Friday the 13th?"

"Yes, but what is special about this day?" Haku asked.

"It's s'pposed t'be an unlucky day for peoplez," Zabuza said. "But y'know what? I think I been pretty lucky t'day. I gots to know y'bettah, and hell, I ain't never had such a good time gettin' stiches."

Haku laughed. "Then I am glad today was lucky for you, and I am very glad you are okay. I was very worried about you."

"No need t'worry, boo," Zabuza said, putting his arm on Haku's shoulder. "I'd be fine, but y'made it a lot bettah."

Haku said nothing for a while, when it began to snow. "Well, I must go now," he said. "I much enjoyed our time together, Zabuza."

"Hey, y'know what? Let's walk to school together next week, m'kay?" Zabuza suggested. "We can talk more."

Haku smiled. "I would much like that," he said. "Goodbye, Zabuza."

Ever since that day, it would be a rare sight not to find Zabuza anywhere in the hallways during free time or after school without Haku at his side. Although Haku hadn't had a chance to speak openly about his feelings with Zabuza, he was glad that he was allowed to be near him more often, to get to know him better and vice versa.

To everyone else, it was rather silly, seeing two boys from such different backgrounds getting along so well.

But then again, Kisame and Itachi had been friends just about their entire lives.

Next  
- Sisterly Love?


	8. Sisterly Love?

Konoha High  
Chapter 8  
- Sisterly Love? -

"Oh crap!" Naruto groaned.

He had completely forgotten his paper on Van Gogh that was due that day in Art class, and was panicking at his locker before lunch started on the Monday before Valentines Day.

"Where the heck did I leave it?" he said, frantically searching through the mess for the paper he had only just completed the day before. "Oh noooo..."

"Foshizzle!" said a familiar voice. "Naruto, I do believe I have something you need!

It was Haku, his missing report in hand and a smile on his face.

"Haku! What in the world did you sa-" Naruto began, but found he was interrupting himself. "Ohmygod, WHERE in the world did you find that??"

"You left this on desk after Science," Haku said. "I was going to give you sometime before Lunch began."  
Naruto practically hugged his Chinese friend and took the paper, slamming his locker and heading to lunch. "You're a lifesaver, you know that?" he said, grinning.

"Thank you," Haku smiled.

"Oh, yeah, what was with that 'foshizzle' thing? It sounds weird," Naruto said.

"Oh, is something Zabuza taught me," Haku smiled. "Does it not mean 'for sure'?"

"Umm… I guess," Naruto said. "Yeah, let's get some lunch."

Haku went ahead to the table (he had jasmine rice with snow peas and carrots for lunch that day), Naruto got himself a hamburger and took his place.

"Heyas," said Kin. "Happy almost-valentines day, Naruto."

"Yeah, you too," Naruto said, putting some ketchup on his burger. "Waahh, Haku, I'm so glad you got my paper."

"It was no problem," said Haku, smiling and clicking his chopsticks together. "I read some while waiting for you, is very well done."

"Eh… you did?" Naruto said, making Kimimaro laugh (Naruto often proclaimed he was the "worst writer in existence").

Haku nodded. "Yes, I much enjoyed your report on Mr. Van Gogh, is much better than my report on Mr. Dali."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you chose him," Naruto said.

"Why'd you do that? Dali's pretty weird…" said Kin.

"Deidara told me my picture frame was based on his art, so I wished to learn more about him," he said. "I much enjoyed my research, but I am afraid my paper is not so good."

"Well, your picture's amazing," Naruto said; Mr. Might required the students create a piece of original art in the style of the artist each of them were studying. Haku had created a lovely surreal piece set in a barren field of ice, while Naruto's looked more like finger-painting than anything professional, "so I don't think you'd write that bad a paper, right, Hina?"

"Umm… umm… yes, I think so too…" she said.

"You jest," Haku said, smiling.

"Well, I have yet to look at it, man," Deidara said. "I wanna see the kinds of things you were thinking as you painted it, and I think you'd have a lot of style too, man."

"Hey, Dei!"

A very strange thing had just occurred; Ino had called out for Deidara.

"Mm? What is it, Ino?" Deidara said casually to the cheerleader standing above them.

"Like… mom says I gotta take you to the mall and help you pick out a dress for the dance," she said. "I know you're going with Sasori, but like… _at least_ dress like you're going with someone _normal_."

"Hey, don't be so mean to Sasori, man," Deidara said. "Do I have to get a dress?"

"Yes, you do, Dei," Ino sighed. "I'll be waiting by my car in the parking lot after school so we can get one."

"Awww mannn…." Deidara whined. "All right, fine, I'll go with you, man, but it's not like I _want_ to go, man."

"Ugh… I can't believe we're even related, you're so embarrassing…" Ino sighed, walking away. "Remember: parking lot, after school."

"Fiiiiiine…" Deidara sighed, slumping down on the table.

There was silence for a while, then Naruto realized something.

"She's your little sister?" he said suddenly.

"Yeah, sad but true, man," Deidara laughed.

"It's the weirdest thing, ain't it?" Kin giggled. "Dei and Ino aren't alike at all, yet they're sisters."

"But then again," Kimimaro added, "have you seen the way you two dress your hair? You do the same thing with your bangs. Maybe it's a sign that she kinda admires you, Dei."

"Huh, I guess you're right, man," Dei said, blowing her own away with a breath. "Hehe, she's always gonna be my baby sister, no matter what she says."

"Speaking of the dance…" said Kin, "Naruto, who are you going with?"

"Eh?! When's the dance, isn't it next week?" he said.

"No, it's tomorrow night," everyone said at the same time.

"Dah! I need someone to go with!" he said, spazzing out a little bit.

He thought hard for a while, furrowing his brow and screwing up his face, making him look rather like a blonde monkey. A lot of different people jumped around in his head, but most of them were people he wouldn't be caught dead with, people who wouldn't want to go with him, or people who already were going with someone. Then, it hit him.

"Hinata!" he said. "Are you going to the dance with anyone?"

Her face went bright red and she shook her head.

"Great! Then you can come with me!" he said.

"I… I… I… I…" Hinata stuttered, poking her fingers together. "You…you don't want to go with me… I-I'll… I'll embarrass you… and stuff…"

"Nonsense, I'm never embarrassed," Naruto laughed. "Come on, Hina, you'd have fun."

She was silent for a moment, then managed to smile a little.

"O-okay, then… I'll… I'll… I'll go with you…" she said softly.

"Yay! Go Hinata!" Kin cheered, giving Hinata a mini-noogie.

"Heh, so now we all got dates or whatever," Tayuya, finally speaking, said (who was going with Kimimaro). "Are we gonna be a classy bunch or what?"

"Super-classy, man," Deidara laughed.

-///-

After the positively chaotic day filled with lots of red and pink (especially Mr. Might's horrendously disturbing themed sweater) and several pounds of chocolate changing hands throughout the school, the dance itself was loads of fun, where the gym had been decorated with pink, red and white streamers, and sparkling decorations everywhere. Hinata looked absolutely beautiful in an empire-waist style dress of pale lavender silk, and Naruto's father took a picture of her and Naruto together before driving them to the school. Tayuya looked rather like Courtney Love in a black dress she had ripped herself, and her pink hair had been gelled carefully into spikes that curled around her face in a neat, yet chaotic way. Kimimaro, however, has wearing a regular suit (although he had placed a small pin with the Rastafarian colors on his lapel). Kin's sleek black dress was paired well with her tightly-plaited hair, as she showed up with her date, Haku (who wore a fabulous red Chinese-style shirt that had golden dragons embroidered on it); although neither of them had feelings for each other, they didn't have anyone else go to with. Ukon had had an allergic reaction to some chocolates he had received, so he stayed home.

However, Deidara and Sasori (who promised to come) hadn't showed up yet.

"Where the fuck are they?" Tayuya said annoyedly, as they waited by the door.

"We must be patient," said Haku. "I do not mind, the dance will be going on for quite long while."

They watched the cars and limos show up and unload their cargo of couples, until a bright pink one that attracted everyone's attention rolled in.

"Three guesses who this is," Kin laughed.

And she was right; coming out of this car were Sasuke and Ino, who was gussied up like Paris Hilton in a pink monstrosity of silk and satin. Sasuke just sulked in his dark blue suit, not wanting to be there. As she dragged him along by one arm, another couple came out of the limo.

"Dei!" Kimimaro said happily, waving at them. Deidara laughed and waved as well.

"Well, you sure look nice!" Kimimaro said as they joined the group, pointing at the black dress with red trimmings that Deidara wore.

"Yeah, well, at least I know for sure that if my sister's only got only one thing in her head, it's good taste, man," she laughed. "Sasori matches too, see?"

Sasori opened his jacket to show his red cummerbund. "I don't exactly call this 'matching' but okay…" he said.

"Well, now that we're all here, let's dance!" Naruto laughed, taking Hinata's hand and nearly running into the gym.

And they did exactly that; dancing and laughing and singing. Zaku was being the disc jockey, with Dosu as his assistant (handing him new CD's). They did a fantastic job of it, playing all the right songs at the right times, so nobody was bored or having a hard time keeping up. Haku split up from Kin (even though she didn't mind) and went to go find Zabuza (he and Kidoumaru were having a rap/dance-off, which was extremely entertaining to anyone who happened to be watching). The YMCA, Electric Slide and Macarena were played, and Haku had to be taught the dances (though he learned very quickly). By the time the "slow dance" came around, everyone was super-hyper and not in the mood, so Zaku spliced "I Like Tah Moveit Moveit" in the middle, which caused many happy squeals (even though Ino was pissed off that her romantic moment with Sasuke was ruined by "immature delinquents who don't understand the importance of timing."). By the time the dance was over, everyone was exhausted, but extremely satisfied. When Hinata's father came to pick her up with Neji, she gave Naruto her deepest thanks and said very softly that she had a wonderful time.

What he didn't know was that when she went home, she dreamt of the dance all night and fell asleep blushing.

Naruto, however, had a very peculiar dream where he was fighting a strange man that, if he wasn't otherwise mistaken, was Zabuza.

Next  
- Sleepy Snow Din


	9. Sleepy Snow Din

Konoha High  
Chapter 9  
- Sleepy Snow Din -

It was on a Friday in late February that a rather massive snowstorm was due to head to Konoha City, but most of the residents there didn't care much and simply prepared for some extra shoveling.

What they didn't know was exactly how much shoveling they'd need to be doing.

It started snowing while Naruto was at school, during Science class. It started out light and fluffy, and rather soothing to watch. However, it got worse as the day went on, and by third-period Math, with the snow and wind combined, you couldn't see outside. Several kids were using their cell phones and arranging rides home with their parents (which the school encouraged during bad weather), because it looked like the storm wasn't going to let up any time soon. However, during Art, it sounded like the wind had finally stopped blowing. Haku went over to the window to see if the visibility had been cleared, only to find the window showed nothing but white. The window itself felt cold to the touch and frosted, until Haku realized something.

"Teacher Might," he said, "is it normal for there to be snow piling up on window?"

"What's this?" he said, taking a break from his painting and going to the window. He looked at it confusedly, then tried to open it, only find it wouldn't budge.

"Huh, must be frozen over," he said, until the PA system came on with Principal Sandaime's commanding voice.

"Attention all faculty and student body; it appears that we have been snowed in because of the unexpected snow storm to hit us. At the moment, there is a freakishly large amount of snow on the ground, almost 10 feet, according to weather reports."

"TEN FEET OF SNOWW?!" everyone said, extremely shocked.

"Aww, man, I wish I was out on the slopes right now…" Kiba said, crossing his arms (he snowboarded in the winter, when skating wasn't the wisest thing to be doing). Akamaru, the puppy that he carried with him in his sweatshirt, whimpered along with him.

"At the moment, virtually all roads are inaccessible, but because we have electricity, water and heat, the government has given us permission to keep you here for the night, until a solution to this problem can be found. Food, pajamas, sleeping bags, and other necessary items will be provided for your use. Boys and Girls sleeping areas will be segregated, but there will be common areas for both sexes that will be chaperoned. All teachers, please report to the lounge for an emergency meeting. Students may have free time until a further plan is created. As of this moment, school is now over."  
The room went into an uproar. In-school sleepover? To some it sounded horrible (namely emos like Sasuke), but to most, it sounded like a ton of fun.

"Fantastic! This is an excellent way to get to know your fellow students!" Mr. Might said enthusiastically. "All right, everyone, you are dismissed until further notice!"

The room was empty before he could even finish his sentence.

Naruto was running around like crazy and found his friends, who were sitting around on the couches in the Commons area (a hang-out ground of couches where the students could wait during free periods).

"Dude, this rules!" he squealed. "I can't believe it!"

"Yeah, and look at all this snow!" Tayuya said. "Oh yeah, this is gonna fucking rule."

"I'll say," said Kin. "I wonder if they're gonna do anything cheesy or campy like making us play games together."

"I doubt it," Kimimaro said. "Principal Sandaime's a nice guy, I don't think he'd do anything like that."

"Yeah, but Mr. Might would," Naruto laughed. The PA crackled on again with Principal Sandaime.

"Attention students, we have decided on a solution for our predicament. Girls may sleep in the auditorium on the east wing and are chaperoned by Vice-Principal Godaime, and the boys may sleep in the west wing's gymnasium, to be chaperoned by Mr. Erosennin." This seemed a logical idea, since the gym and auditorium were on opposite sides of the school. "Hallways and classrooms are free areas, but they are monitored, so don't try anything sneaky."

Jiraiya's voice came on the PA. "Yeah, because if you do, I'll catch you!"

Sandaime came on again. "Yes, that's right. Our cafeteria is going to make dinner for you that will be ready at 5 o' clock PM, and sleeping bags will be placed in the sleeping areas for use. We will try to get some kind of entertainment for you. That is all, more announcements to follow."

"SWEET"! Naruto squealed. "Dude, guess what I brought that just might save our lives?"

"What?" Kin asked. Naruto dug into his backpack and took out a portable DVD player.

"SCORE!" Tayuya squealed.

"Dude, I got movies and stuff too," he said, taking out a small CD binder full of DVD's. "My laptop plays movies too!"

"Dude, how much crap do you keep _in_ there?" Kin asked, looking into his backpack.

"Umm…" Naruto said. "Huh, lemme look." He started to take things out, naming them as he unloaded his backpack. "A DVD player, my laptop, DVDs, games and music, CD player, iPod, portable PS2, controllers, DS, PSP, GBA, my cell phone, 1 gig flash drive… yeah, that's about it," he said. The pile was indeed sizable.

"My goodness," said Ukon.

"And I thought _I _had a lot," Kin laughed. "Thank god for you, Naru, thank god."

Naruto laughed. "Don't mention it."

-///-

Since it was only about 2 more hours until dinner, Naruto and his friends had fun watching "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" on his DVD player (Kin had an attachment that allowed more than one set of headphones to listen in to it, so they could all enjoy it). Neji Hyuuga, (h4x0r 3xtr0rd1n41r3, as he liked to call himself) had disappeared into the dark recesses of the computer lab and didn't show up when the PA made an announcement that dinner was ready.

It was a fairly delicious meal of either chicken or beef to choose from, with mashed potatoes, various vegetables, and of course, milk. Mr. Ibiki surprised everyone afterward by producing a large chocolate cake for dessert, which was gone within minutes.

Neji showed up soon afterward at Naruto's table, a Mountain Dew in hand, to ask Kin something. He whispered something in her ear, and her face lit up.

"I'll be right back, you guys," she smiled, and left with her fellow classmate.

"Where do you think she's going?" Naruto asked.

"Maybe Neji needs her for an announcement on the PA," Kimimaro said. "She has access to it, you know. She does the morning announcements, don't you know?"

"Oh yeah, that's right," said Naruto. "What would Neji want to say, though?"  
The PA crackled on, almost as if to answer his question,.

"Attention all students!" Kin's voice said. "We now have satellite TV in every classroom! Neji Hyuuga has gone through the trouble of using computers to get our channels, so let's give him a round of applause!" Everyone began to cheer. "Okay, each classroom has been programmed with a different channel, so if you want to watch something else, just move, mmkay? We're really not sure which classrooms got what channel, so you'll have to experiment, but we're pretty sure that they're good ones," she continued. "Have fun tonight, everyone!"

The PA turned off, and several people rushed out of the cafeteria to see if their favorite channel made the cut. Kin showed up soon afterward.

"Wow, that's super-awesome, man!" Deidara squealed. "How'd Neji do that, man?"

"He has a lot of things that even I don't know about. Got into the satellite service network and sent different channels to our TV's or something, I can barely understand what he was saying, anyways," she laughed. "Well, at least we have something to watch _other_ than public access."

"Thank god for that," Tayuya said. "Oi, Ukon! I gotta ask you something, will you come with me?"

"Sure," Ukon said, and left with Tayuya.

"Ohhh boy," Kin said. "I bet Tayu's planning something big."

"How… could you tell…?" Hinata asked.

"She's got a more devilish look on her face than usual," Kimimaro noted, laughing a little bit. "Oh goodness, where's Haku?"

The Chinese boy was nowhere to be found, and had only recently been eating his potatoes with everyone else.

"Heck if I know," Naruto said. "Well, he can't be lost. Must have left with everyone to watch TV."

"Yeah, that must be it," Kin said.

-///-

After dinner, Naruto wanted to see if there were any good channels on, but felt more like playing some games. He asked Kin if she wanted to try a game out with him, and she agreed, so after hooking up his PS2 to the DVD Player's screen, they started a fun game of Katamari Damacy in the Commons area.

Kin was loudly humming the theme song, when some loud chattering was heard behind them. They turned around to see what the fuss was all about and saw Tayuya and Ukon setting up band equipment on the shallow steps behind them (they had gone to the band room and hoarded their supplies).

"Oh duuuude…" Kin laughed. "They're gonna play for us? All right!"

"Ukon plays guitar?" Naruto said.

"Not Ukki, he plays drums," said Kin. "Tayu's the one who plays guitar, as does Kimi. You think he's gonna go up with them too?"

"How should I know?" Naruto said. "Maybe…?"

As Kin predicted, Kimimaro went up on the steps and began to tune up a the guitar handed to him by Tayuya.

"Ah, that's his," Kin laughed. "See the little Bob Marley sticker on it? That's his, all right."

Naruto looked and indeed saw a red, yellow and green sticker with the words "Peace for Marley" on it. Tayuya began tuning her guitar and scowling as she did so. By this time, several people were crowding around to see what they would be doing.

"We all ready?" she asked. Kimimaro and Ukon nodded.

"Okay," she said. "Let's do Tribute, wanna give it a try?"

Kimimaro nodded, and Ukon did so as well. Tayuya began to play a few notes with Kimimaro, and Kin snorted.

"Ahaha, Tenacious D, that's classic," she giggled.

"This is the greatest and best song in the world: Tribute," Tayuya said, beginning the song.

"Hey, I know this song!" Naruto said, finally realizing what they were singing, and started mouthing the words along with the punk.

By the chorus, a large crowd had gathered in the Commons, singing aloud rather loudly with the hilarious song about the "greatest song in the world". After it was done, there was a loud round of applause. Tayuya put away her acoustic guitar and got an electric bass for herself and a regular for Kimimaro, and they began playing "I Love Rock n' Roll" which made the crowd go nuts.

"I'm leaving," Naruto proclaimed. "Might get a snack or something."

"Mmkay," Kin said. "Can I keep playing this Katamari thing? It's addicting!"

"Sure, go ahead," Naruto smiled. "Be right back."

He walked out of the commons to the cafeteria, to find all the lights dimmed.

"Odd…" he thought, and took one step forward.

"LOOK OUT, MAN!" Deidara yelled, tackling him out of the way before a net could drop on him.

"What the-" Naruto began.

"Ibiki's set up the place like its freaking Mission Impossible, man," Deidara said. "You gotta be careful if you wanna get something to eat."

"Gerroff me! Are you serious?" Naruto said, getting out from under Deidara.

"As a heart attack, man," Deidara said. "However, we're planning something."

"Got our men!" Sasori said, running at a brisk pace towards them with several of Naruto's classmates in tow, including Kisame and an even bigger kid with messy orange hair and an unpleasant look on his face.

"Great!" Deidara said. "Okay, as of this moment, 'Operation: Munchies' is now in effect, man!"

"I have a job for everyone, I think," Sasori said. "Neji, we need to you to figure out this security system and get it disabled."

"Piece o' cake," he said. "It's in a box that was attached near the vending machines, I can crack it easily."

"Great," said Sasori. "Once that's over with, I've assigned different foods to each of you." He pointed to Chouji. "Chouji, you're in charge of chocolates and sweets. Shikamaru, chips. Kisame, hot dogs. Jiroubou… soda and ice cream, you can carry the most. And Naruto… you can get sandwiches and stuff like that. I'm keeping watch with Neji once the system's cracked, and Dei, you…"

"I'll make sure we're not spotted, man," she said. "Okay, 'Operation: Munchies' starts… now!"

Neji was on the box like a madman, his fingers playing with wires and buttons.

"Code broken!" he said. "It's timed, though! This is more advanced than I thought, he really is a military man… we have 2 minutes!"

"Go, go, go!" Sasori said, urging them on. Naruto and the others bounded into the kitchen and started looking. Naruto found his sandwiches easily and was back outside with a large box of assorted flavors and types within 30 seconds.

"Excellent!" Sasori said. "How much time left?"

"A minute, thirteen," Neji reported. Kisame showed up with his hot dogs soon after.

"One minute to go!" Neji said.

"Coast is still clear!" reported Deidara.

Jiroubou entered with his mighty arms filled with the ice cream cartons in one and soda bottles in the other.

"Here. Soda and ice cream," he said, sounding much like a caveman.

The time passed and Shikamaru and Chouji hadn't come back yet.

"15 seconds to go!" Neji said.

"Come on, you guys, get back here!" Sasori said frantically. Shikamaru came slowly walking towards them with a single bag of chips.

"So troublesome…" he said.

"You idiot!" Sasori said, resisting the urge to punch him in the face.

"Ten seconds!" Neji said.

"CHOUJI!" Sasori roared. The overweight slob came running towards them, a box of Hostess snacks and chips held above his head. He barely made it before the timer ran out, and a host of brightly-colored lasers appeared all over the kitchen, which would have signaled an alarm, had they been around.

"Holy crap," Naruto said.

"Well done, all!" said Sasori. "Now, let's deliver these to the people!"

Marching triumphantly back to the Commons area like hunters with their kill, there was much feasting with the awesome rock Tayuya, Ukon and Kimimaro were giving to the people.

-///-

Later that night, as Tsunade patrolled the halls (Tayuya's band's gig long since over), she heard something rather strange-sounding coming from Mr. Hatake's room. She listened in, and burst in the door after only one or two sentences.

"KAKASHI HATAKE!" she roared. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Doing what?" replied Mr. Hatake, who was sitting in his pajamas on his desk, with several male students sitting below him, looking like kids during story time in kindergarten.

"Reading that… vulgar material!" she said.

"Oh, this?" Kakashi said, holding up his copy of "Make-Out Tactics" (he had been reading the smut aloud to the boys who wanted to hear).

"Yes, that!" Tsunade said.

"Its Sex Ed," He said simply.

"You're a pig," Tsunade said after a long silence, and slammed the door behind her.

"Now, where did we leave off?" he asked.

"Tsuna-hime was about to start kissing Jiraimaru," someone said.

"Oh yes, that," Kakashi said, and went back to reading.  
The boys were drooling more than newfoundland dogs on a hot day.

-///-

Naruto was hanging out in the commons in an oversized shirt and pajama bottoms (graciously lent by the school), watching a movie on his PSP, when he heard a giddy giggling from behind him. He turned to see who it was.

"Haku?"

The Chinese boy had returned, his face bright red and a smile on his lips, his long hair rather ruffled.

"Hey, where were you?" Naruto asked.

"Wo... wo ai..." he managed to say, before collapsing in a fit of giggles and hugging his legs.

"What?" Naruto said. "I can't understand a word you're saying."

Haku just giggled more. "I... get... pajamas...!" he breathed, before getting up and performing an astounding string of backflips and cartwheels down the hall to the girl's side of the school.

"Haku, that's the-" Naruto began.

"Sai's there, actually," Ukon said, showing up suddenly (as he was apt to do) behind Naruto. "You know he's Haku's foster brother, right?  
I bet he's the first person Haku would go to. And besides, he's practically harmless, I bet Tsunade's okay with him being over there."

"Where was he, do you know?" Naruto asked. Ukon shrugged.

"No clue, things certainly are a bit chaotic here," he said. "Did you hear that they're having a pool party downstairs?"

"No kidding! Maybe I should go down there," Naruto said, shutting off his PSP.

"Mm, and also-" Ukon began, before something loud came tearing down the hall.

Kiba Inuzuka came screaming down the hall on his skateboard, trying to see how long it would take him to skate around the entire school, finding interesting new places to test some tricks. His puppy, Akamaru, sat on the front of the board, yipping joyously.

"...Kiba's skating around the entire place-" Ukon said.

Shino was following quickly afterward on a Razor scooter, a grin on his face.

"...and Shino's always a little bit behind him," he ended.

"Weird..." Naruto said.

"Well, if you're looking for weird people, Konoha High's the place," Ukon smiled. "We got every sort of weirdo here, it's like our very own side-show circus."

"Hehe, we got a half-man-half-woman, right?" Naruto said.

"To add to the freak show, I'm a Siamese Twin," Ukon smiled.

"You're what?" Naruto said, a bit startled.

"Sakon and I were joined at the back of the neck when we were born," Ukon said, pulling his hair away from his neck to reveal a small scar. "See this? It's the only thing left of where we were connected. We're both really different, but it's amazing how many times we finish each other's sentences and stuff."

"Woah, that's... that's really cool!" Naruto said, looking at the scar. Ukon nodded. "Does he get sick like you?" he asked. Ukon shook his head.

"Unfortunately, it's only me," he said. "But that's okay; whenever I'm in the hospital or at home for something or another, he gets my homework for me and always finds a way to cheer me up somehow. Hehe, I practically have a room reserved for me at the hospital, I get sick so much, it's rather sad..."

"Man, I wish my sister was like that..." said Naruto.

"Your sister?" said Ukon. Naruto nodded.

"Yeah, we were born five years apart, and she's in college now," he said. "She's really nice, but we weren't that close when I was little, because she was a teenager and all. She's in Paris right now, and I miss her a lot."

"I never would have guessed you had a sister," said Ukon. "Is she anything like you?"

"Are you kidding? My mom says that I'm exactly the same, only I happen to be a boy," Naruto laughed. "I haven't seen her since she left last summer; she hasn't come home, even for Christmas."

"Well, she's bound to visit sometime," Ukon said. Naruto nodded.

"Hey guys, psst!" Deidara whispered, joining them.

"Hi, Dei," said Ukon placidly.

"Take one of these, man!" Deidara said, throwing a can of something at Naruto.

"Silly String?" Naruto said.

"We're gonna launch a war on the girls, man." she said. "Come on, you're the last I needed to recruit, man."

Naruto and Ukon got up and followed Deidara to a small area right before where Tsunade stood in watch. A small army of boys were waiting for them there.

"I got everyone, man." Deidara said.

"Shall we discuss the plan?" Sasori asked. Deidara nodded.

"Here's what we're gonna do..."

-///-

Meanwhile, in the Auditorium, the girls had finished with their manicures and makeovers (courtesy of supplies Tsunade had found in her office and Ino's monstrous collection of cosmetics and hair products in her locker), their hair done up in curlers and ribbons. Now, they were grouped into a circle, having a game of Truth or Dare.

"Okay, Ten Ten!" Ino said, her turn over (she had been asked "Who do you think the hottest guy in school is?" to which she answered "Sasuke, of course!"). "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," Ten Ten replied steadfastly."

"Okay, umm... I dare you to... put both your legs behind your head and walk on your hands!" Ino said."Pssh, easy," Ten said, taking one leg, then the other, and placing them neatly behind her head. Balancing herself on her hands, she began to walk around, perfectly balanced.

"Eww!" said a few people. "Cool!" said the rest. Ten Ten sat back down and unfolded her legs from behind her head. A few people clapped.

"Thank you, thank you. Now... Hinata! Truth or Dare?" she asked.

"Ummm... umm... ummm... truth...?" she stuttered, poking her fingers together.

"Okay, umm... who is the person you admire most?" Ten Ten said.

"That's such a stupid question," said Ino.

"It is not!" Ten Ten retorted, glaring at her.

"Ugh, go on!" Ino sighed.

"Well... the person I admire most... is... is... N-" Hinata began, but all of a sudden...

"CHAAAAAARGE!"

From the ceiling of the auditorium, a rain of silly string began to fall upon them. Deidara and her team had assembled in the rigging of the stage strategically and acheived perfect aim as Silly String fell upon the unsuspecting girls. Squeals and screams were everywhere as the foamy stuff hardened on them.

"Hey, what's going on here?!" Tsunade bellowed, only to be sprayed in the face. The supply quickly ran out, and the order was given with a loud "RETREAT!" from Sasori, and the boys were gone as quickly as they came. Needless to say, the girls were shocked, and under Ten Ten's leadership began to plan their eventual revenge.

-///-

After a cheerful victory party in the gym, the boys were planning for bed. Dosu was cold, and he and Zaku were sharing the same sleeping bag.

"EWWW! QUEEERS!" someone squealed disgustedly. "Oh my god, it's like Brokeback Mountain in here!"

"Just ignore them, Dosu..." Zaku said comfortingly. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

"Itachiii, I can't sleeeeep..." Kisame whined, as he sat on his sleeping bag.

"Do I look like I care?" Itachi replied.

"Read me a storyyyy!" he said.

Itachi pushed his pillow against his face. "Nooo..."

"I can't sleep without a story!!" Kisame said, pouting.

"Then stay up all night, for all I care," he replied sourly.

"Awww, Itachi..." Kisame whined.

"I'll read you a story!" Lee said, bouncing in out of nowhere.

"You will?" Kisame said, his eyes lighting up. The enthusiastic young man nodded.

"YAY!!" Kisame cheered, and took his sleeping bag, unwinding it next to Lee's, who began to tell him a fantastic story that he was obviously making up on the spot. Naruto had taken up a spot next to Kimimaro and Ukon, and was gushing about what would happen the next day.

As he slept, he had a strange dream about someone who resembled Haku in a strange way that was throwing needles at him and Sasuke. The dream ended as a strange red light overtook him, and he what he could have sworn was his mother embracing him.

Of course, when he woke up for breakfast with the rest of the boys, they found that all their clothes had been taken and hung above the gym on clotheslines, a friendly message stating "Have Fun Getting These Back" hung along with it (Gaara, who was a known insomniac, had been stalking around the school all night like a vampire and didn't bother to stop the girls in their revenge).

By the time they had gotten their clothes back, a tunnel system had been dug in the roads of Konoha City, and parents were coming to pick up their children.

The freakish amount of snow and amazing tunnels lasted for only another week, before a rather large heat spell melted it all away. But althought the snow was gone, the impromptu sleepover within the school was an event that would live in the student's minds for quite a while.

Next  
- Puppets, Sharks and Angels


	10. Puppets, Sharks, and Angels

Konoha High  
Chapter 10- Puppets, Sharks, and Angels -

Anyone that attended Konoha High knew about the bond between Kisame, Itachi, Deidara and Sasori. Although one of the oddest groups of people you were ever likely to meet, the four of them got along better than practically anyone else at the school.

Their odd friendship had started all the way back on the first day of kindergarten; Kisame was singled out for his skin condition by the other kids, but Itachi (extremely popular and influential on others, even at the wee age of five) befriended him on the spot and defended him from the taunts. Deidara and Sasori (who had practically grown up together and hung with each other regardless) joined the fray after Kisame offered to share his animal crackers with them during snack time. To repay him, Sasori constructed a fantastically intricate structure out of Tinkertoys, and Deidara worked very hard on a piece of paper with her jumbo 256 color crayon box to create a portrait of them together (in all its stick-figure detail), and a red play-doh heart. They were fast friends ever since.

Through elementary school, they were continuously placed in the same classes together and always found ways to sit near each other, even when they caused a ruckus. Middle School brought some problems, because they couldn't have the same classes anymore, but found that they shared the same lunch period and were able to hang out then and after school.

High school was pretty much the same, and of course they had fun when Ino and Sasuke became students, making sure to shout "FRESHMEN SUCK!" at the pep rallies as loud as they could. Even in their senior years, with Itachi being extremely busy as Student Body President and his apathy reaching record highs, they managed to stay together somehow and rally for each other.

It truly was an admirable and strong friendship, where each person looked out for the next and offered a hand of help, should the need arise.  
And it was shortly after Valentines Day that such a need arose, when Sasori came to school without Deidara.

It seemed like a typical winter day; Sasori rode the bus to school (his crazy grandmother "dun believe in dal-gun new-fangled contraption cars,", so he was forced most of the time) and looked around for Deidara, who usually greeted him at the school's entrance with a cheerful "Yo, man!" However, his genderless friend was nowhere to be found, which instantly got him worried; Deidara wasn't exactly the smartest person in the world, and was apt to forget things, but she had never missed a day of school in her life.

Immediately, he went to Kisame (whose height and skin color made him as easy to pick out of a crowd as a splotch of ketchup on mac and cheese).

"Hey, Kisa!" he said, looking up at the teen (who towered in comparison to Sasori's decidedly childish frame). "You know where Dei is?"

Kisame shrugged. "Dunno, didn't you see her when you got off the bus?"

Sasori shook his head. "Nope, she wasn't there."

"You'll see here sometime later today, I'm sure of it," Itachi said, casually walking by, music blaring in his ears from his iPod. "Don't spazz."

"Ah, morning, Itachi!" Kisame chimed.

"I'm not spazzing!" said Sasori, ignoring Kisame. "Dei never skips school, and she doesn't get sick."

"Everyone gets sick," said Itachi cooly, walking inside with Kisame close behind. "Like I said, don't spazz; she'll show."

The cool-headed Uchiha walked away with Kisame close behind, and Sasori fumed in his tiny little body, his freckled face growing a bit red. Something was wrong with Deidara, and he was going to find out what.

After an entire day of school and no Deidara, Sasori decided to take matters into his own hands and approached Ino.

"Hey, excuse me?" he said, tapping her on the shoulder as she began to walk out the doors to her expensive car when school ended.

"Oh... you're Deidara's freaky little midget friend, aren't you?" Ino said.

"Don't act like you don't know me, I've seen you in diapers, Ino," Sasori shot back, getting angry at her calling him a midget. "Where's Deidara?"

"Oh... her? Like... she didn't want to come out of her room today, so I just left without her," Ino said, turning bright red, crossing her arms and looking at the ceiling.

"Why? That's not like her," said Sasori.

"I dunno," said Ino. "Had a fight with my parents last night about something, I dunno what it was all about, though."

"A fight?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah, she just slammed the door to her room and like... stayed there and didn't come out. And my parents were all mad and stuff too, like steaming and stuff," Ino said. "I just wanted to stay outta it so I like... didn't say anything."

"Listen... I'm gonna go get Kisame; we're gonna go try and talk to her and see what's up," said Sasori. "This really isn't like Dei, something's gotta be really wrong."

"Ugh... not Fish-Breath..." said Ino, turning and about to leave. Sasori grabbed her arm and scowled at her.

"She's your sister, so why aren't you concerned?" he asked. Ino was silent for a while, then sighed.

"Fine, I'll get the car and wait for you outside..." she said.

-///-

In a few minutes, Sasori had successfully recruited Kisame to help Deidara get to her senses (Itachi had a student government meeting that day, so he couldn't attend, even if he wanted to, but that was rare). With Ino driving, they made it to the lavish Yamanaka residence and got out of the car. Immediately, Sasori and Kisame trudged upstairs to Deidara's room while Ino dumped her bag in the mudroom.

"Who's going upstairs, sweetie?" her mother asked.

"Deidara's loser friends," Ino replied, expressionless. "Gonna go talk to her or something."

Thank god for that! Seriously, Ino, I don't know what I'm going to do with her! She better speak up and make a decision!" Mrs. Yamanaka sighed. Ino looked at her in slight interest.

"...just what do you want Dei to decide on?" she asked.

-///-

"Dei... Dei, are you in here? It's us!" Sasori said, knocking on the door. There was silence, so he knocked again, this time a bit more forcefully. "Deidara, answer me!" he said.

"Go away, I don't want to talk to anyone..." Deidara's faint voice came from inside after a while. Kisame and Sasori looked at each other worriedly.

"Dei, what's the matter?" Kisame asked. There wasn't a reply this time. Sasori reached for the door knob and found it wasn't locked, so they entered.

Deidara's room was undeniably an artist's; save for a simple bed with a metal frame and a desk with a computer, the giant, wooden-floored room was covered in white sheets and displayed several works in progress, half-painted and leaning on the walls. Deidara was huddled on her bed with a sheet over her head, looking out the window dejectedly.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone," she said. "I'm fine, I don't wanna talk."

"You're not saying 'man', Dei. That alone tells me that you're anything but fine," said Sasori. "Ino said you fought with your parents, is that what's bothering you?"

Deidara shuddered and hugged herself tighter, then nodded.

"What happened?" Kisame asked.

Deidara was silent for a long time, thinking of what to say. Then, she spoke.

"They want... they want me to choose a gender before school's out," she said. "They told me that they can't stand having something that's not a daughter or a son, because it's a disgrace to the family and stuff. And all the things I've done... if I picked something to be for the rest of my life, it's like things will magically get better, but I think... I think they won't, really. I don't know what to do... I like being the way I am, but this'll... this'll make them happy."

"Aww, Dei..." said Kisame, putting a blue hand on her shoulder. Deidara jerked a little bit, and shifted to one side.

"You really don't want to do this, do you?" said Sasori. Deidara shook her head. "Then why don't you stay the way you are?" he said.

"Come on, Dei! Think about it!" He sat behind her on the bed and leaned over. "Your parents want to do this because they love you a lot, Dei. They want you to be stable in your life and be happy with who you are and find someone who loves you for that," he said. "But being... being the way you are _now_... that's how you're happy, aren't you?"

"Yeah, and thinking of you as just a straight boy or a straight girl really kinda freaks me out, Dei," Kisame added. "You've been like this ever since I met you, and not once have you ever complained. And we love you for that, Dei!"

Deidara was silent.

"So what are they gonna do to you if you say 'No, I don't want to be a guy or a girl!'?" said Sasori. "If your parents really, truly care about you, they'll listen if you speak up, instead of... running away like a coward or rebelling and being really irrational about stuff, like you usually do. So... what's it gonna be, Dei?"

There was more silence, until Deidara began to cry.

"I... I'm gonna stay the way I am..." she sniffed. "Because... it's really not the outside... that counts, right, man...?"

Sasori smiled and sat up, and Kisa flat-out grinned.

"That's the Dei we know and love." Sasori said.

Deidara turned around and gave him a teary hug, and Kisame joined in as well for good measure.

"Well, thank god that's over," said Sasori.

"Yeah, seeing you all sad like that really freaks me out," said Kisame.

"Hehe, I guess so, man. It doesn't seem like me at all, man," Deidara replied.

"So... you gonna tell your parents tonight?" Sasori said. Deidara nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, man," she said.

"Well, thank god you didn't wanna be a guy," said Sasori, getting out of the hug, and brushing off his pants. "If you were a dude, how could we get married and stuff?"

"We'd move to Massachusetts, of course, man!" Deidara laughed, and tackled her miniscule friend.

Ino watched all this from behind a crack in the door; as soon as her mother refused to say what Deidara was depressed over, she quietly crept up the stairs and watched Sasori and Kisame speak with her sister. The experience had given her a little bit of respect for the freak that shared her DNA... but it didn't mean she was going to openly speak with her.

Smiling a little, she headed downstairs for some puffed rice crackers as Kisame bear-hugged both of them.

Later that night, when Sasori and Kisame were long-gone, Deidara confronted her parents with her decision. After speaking thoroughly through the matter and not getting emotional, they all agreed that it was the right decision and had a rather teary family hug (Ino not included, of course).

The next day, Deidara began sketching in her notepad for a new painting, which was to be of an angel for Sasori; he had told her once that she was like an angel, because they were neither men nor women. Drawing a feather on the delicate wingspan as Sasori came up to say "Good Morning," she couldn't agree more, content with being an "It" for the rest of her life.

Next  
- Day of Confusion


	11. Day of Confusion

Konoha High  
Chapter 11- Day of Confusion -

"CANADIAN PRIDE!"

Naruto looked at himself in the mirror wearing a red and white Canadian hockey shirt emblazoned with a maple leaf and gave himself a rediculous grin.

In celebration of the Olympics, which had been going on for quite some time, the school was hosting a "Culture Day" where each student would show up in a way that celebrated their heiritage. Such an event would normally be a problem, but not for the citizens of Konoha City, most of which were second-generation immigrants or actual immigrants themselves. Naruto had in fact moved there from Toronto with his family, and spoke equal French and English around the house. Of course, he was also a big hockey fan (and darn proud of it as well!) What was actually quite odd was the fact that Naruto had never told his friends where he was actually from, and the fact had never come up in his mind, only arising for this occasion.

Grinning, he slipped on a sweatshirt and grabbed his backpack, and got in the car with his father and was at the school as usual, with a grin on his face as he watched Kiba walk by, proudly sporting a German flag baseball cap and saying "Guten Morgen!" to anyone who was passing by.

After getting his Science book, he heard a voice he hadn't heard in a while.

"G'day, mate!"

It was Kabuto, wearing a shirt loudly printed with Australlian flags.

"Dude, you're just one suprise after another," Naruto laughed. "A surfer, Jewish, and Australlian?"

"Only on mah mom's side," he replied, losing the accent and scratching the back of his neck. "My dad's family came to Cali way back during the Gold Rush or somethin'."

"I never would have guessed... well... kinda... I guess..." said Naruto. Kabuto laughed and began to walk away.

"Later, mate!" he said, returning to the Irwin-esque accent. Naruto laughed, waved, and went on his way to Science.

Not suprisingly, the place was awash in fantastic costume and languages he couldn't understand. Haku waved at him, his silver-white silk sleeves waving in the air, and he took his seat. Dressed in the lovely outfit he wore for Halloween, Haku looked simply dashing and had decided to tie his hair in a tight, traditional pleat that day.

"Good morning, and a very happy Culture Day!" he said.

"Yeah, you too!" said Naruto. "Where's Hinata?"

"She is somewhere, I do not know," Haku replied. "I do believe she is wearing something quite nice today."

"Oh really?" said Naruto. "Well, I can't wait to see it!"

"Myself as well!" said Haku. "So, what country is your family from? I am curious!"

"Me? Oh, I'm from-" Naruto began, but was stopped as Hinata entered the room in a beautiful lilac kimono decorated with cream-colored flowers and a matching obi.

"Woahh..." Naruto said, absolutely amazed.

"Did I not say she would look lovely?" Haku smiled. Hinata blushed and took her seat behind Naruto.

"Wow, Hinata! You look great today! I had no idea you were Japanese!" Naruto said.

"Ho... hontou ni?" she said.

"What?" Naruto and Haku said at the same time.

"Hontou ni... it means 'really' in Japanese..." she said.

"Ohh! Yeah, you do!" Naruto said. Hinata blushed, turning her pale face slightly pink.

"A-arigatou..." she said softly.

"Hey, I know what that means!" said Naruto. "'Thank you,' right?" Hinata nodded.

"Well, you're welcome! Or wait... how do you say that in Japanese?" he asked.

"Douitashimashite," Hinata replied. "That means 'you're welcome'..."

"Ah! Okay, then Doy-tosh-mosh-tay!" Naruto said, pronouncing the Japanese rather incorrectly and loudly, which made Haku laugh a little as Mr. Hatake came in.

"Morning, class! I see we have our own mini-UN here, mm?" A few people laughed, and a hand shot up. "Yes?" he said.

"Teacher, if you don't mind me asking, why aren't you at least wearing a little flag?" the student asked. "Where are you from?"

"My origins are none of your business," Mr. Hatake smiled, and began to write on the board. A rather noticable chill ran through the room only seconds after, and the lesson proceeded as usual.

-///-

The day went on rather amusingly, with Gaara dressed in absolutely strange clothes emblazoned with the Union Jack everywhere, yet undeniably gothic, and Sasuke arguing in Russian with himself. Mr. Umino suprised everyone by revealing he was from Hawaii ("Just like Jack Johnson!" someone remarked, and many laughs followed, for the mellow singer and Mr. Umino were rather similar), and Ms.Yuhi spent the Gym period telling Greek myths instead of jogging the students around the gym, as usual. As lunch approached, Naruto began to look forward to seeing where Tayuya and Kimimaro and Ukon were from.

Since the school encouraged the students to bring their own lunches with traditional recipes, Naruto just packed a carton of Insta-Ramen and a Mountain Dew (since he couldn't think of any "Traditional Canadian" foods). Haku and Hinata joined him soon after, teaching him a few words in Chinese and Japanese, which he couldn't understand at all. Then, Tayuya's voice was heard, just not in a way they expected.

"Bom dia gajos!"

Dressed brightly in red and green fishnet under her torn clothes, Tayuya waved at them and laughed in her gruff manner.

"What in the heck... what was that?" Naruto said.

"O que é que foi isto? É português pá!" Tayuya replied. Naruto was still very confused. "It's Portuguese, stupid!" she said. "That's where I'm from!"

"Portugal...? That's like... right next to Spain, right?" said Naruto, trying to remember the vague old memories from his 7th grade Geography lessons.

Tayuya nodded. "Yeah! Fixe, não é?"

"Tayuya, you'd do best not to confuse Naru too much," Kimimaro laughed as he took his spot at the table, who had ditched his usual Jamacian clothes for the day and was wearing a dark-colored vest over a white long-sleeved shirt and jeans. His white hair looked rather strange without his cap.

"Hello, Kimimaro!" Haku said cheerily. Kimimaro waved.

"What's this now? Where are you from?" Naruto laughed.

"Not too sure, to be truthful," he replied. "I think that my ancestors were originally from Switzerland or something, but I can't be sure. I just put on some nice clothes."

"Good idea..." said Hinata. "And where is Kin...?"

"Right here!" Kin said, running towards them in a fabulous woven dress and Ugg-like boots, her hair plaited into twin braids that thumped the front of her body.

"Woah! You're an Indian, Kin?" Naruto said, then stopped himself. "Er... wait... Native American...?"

"I'm not offended, and it's only on my dad's side," Kin laughed. "My mom's from Iceland, you know, isn't that a weird combonation?"

"Strangest I've heard yet," Kimimaro said. "Speaking of which, how are they?"

"Them? Doing good," Kin said. "Man, I can't believe I'm wearing this today, it's so awesome."

"It's a badass Indian dress!" Tayuya said. "Altamente!"

"What?" Naruto said again. Tayuya laughed at him.

"So, where's Ukon at today?" Kin asked, opening her lunch box (which had nothing but a PBnJ sandwich and other normal things).

"Don't know," Kimimaro said. "He could be sick today."

"There's a 50 chance he's sick any day, Kimi," said Tayuya, sticking her fork into her cod à brás. "Hmm, but I wonder what he is."

"Salut à tout le monde, comment ça va?" his soft voice said, almost in a reply. It was Ukon, wearing a thick sweater and a small French flag pin.

"Ça va très bien... t'és-pas malade aujourd'hui?" Naruto replied, the switch between languages so natural, he didn't notice that he had begun speaking in another language.

"Non, je me sens très bien," said Ukon. "Je ne savais pas que vous savez parler français!"

"Oh... c'est vrai, je suis Canadien!" Naruto said.

"What the hell you guys saying?" Tayuya said.

"See how it feels?" Kimimaro smiled. "But yes, what are you saying? Naruto, you're quite fluent."

"He says he's Canadian." Ukon smiled. There was astonished silence for a while.

"DUDE, YOU'RE CANADIAN???" Tayuya screeched.

"Yeah, I'm from Toronto, is that a big deal or something...?" said Naruto plainly, a bit confused.

"DUDE, THAT IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!" Tayuya squealed.

"Yeah, I never knew that!" Kin said.

"So that's where you moved from?" Kimimaro asked. Naruto nodded.

"Yeah! Heh, I guess I never really told you all! Look!"

He took off his sweatshirt and proudly displayed his red maple leaf. "Behold!"

"That's cool...!" said Hinata, poking her fingers together.

"Jia na da! I much like, Naruto!" Haku said.

"Ahah! Maintenant nous pouvons avoir des conversations secrètes; je ne crois pas qu'un autre ici puisse comprendre français," Ukon smiled. Naruto laughed.

"Onde será que esse menino Kiba se meteu? Quase que jurava que o tinha visto essa manhã..." Shino's voice said as he walked by.

Tayuya was on him like a hawk.

"Puto, tu falas português?" she said, clasping her hands together and bobbing her head animatedly.

"Quê? Não estou entendendo palavra do que você está dizendo," Shino replied.

"Então és Brasileiro! Demais pá!" she said.

"'Tá legal... você viu o Kiba?" Shino asked.

"Não."

"Então 'tá, fui," said Shino, and began to walk away. Tayuya quickly grabbed the remains of her lunch and said a quick "Xau!" to everyone, before following Shino and speaking animatedly in Portuguese with him, on his pursuit to find Kiba.

"My goodness... things here are sure getting interesting," Kimimaro noticed. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

They continued eating lunch, and Kin practiced her Chinese with Haku (who was more than happy to speak his native language), which was rather fun to listen to. Ino walked by with Sasuke, who was trying to impress him with some "French" she had learned.

"Jay'atayme, mee amore!" she squealed. "Jew swees... umm... crossaint?" Sasuke just sighed as he got into the lunch line.

"Никто понимает мою боль..." he said.

"You know, we're actually of Swedish decent, man," Deidara laughed, joining them at the table with Sasori.

"I can tell!" Naruto laughed. "Man, she's such a poser!"

"He speaks French, did you know?" Ukon said.

Deidara shook her head. "Not a clue, man. You from France like Sakon and Ukon are?"

"Nope, I'm Canadian," Naruto smiled.

Deidara grinned. "Way awesome, man," she said.

"Sasori, where's your family from again?" Kin asked, pausing her dialogue with Haku for a moment.

"Ireland," Sasori replied. "What, with hair like this, what do you expect?"

"True," Kin noted. "Okay, Haku, umm... can you help me with this thing? The meals and times?"

"Of course," Haku smiled, and their lesson resumed.

"Hinata, anata no otousan de konbanni gohan ni anata de tsukute shima shimashita," Neji said (wearing a traditional kimono and hakama), passing by with Ten Ten, who began speaking in fluent Chinese with Haku (being Chinese herself, she and Sai (although he was Italian) were in charge of getting Haku used to his new life in America and taught him English before school every week).

"Mo...mo, shiteimashita, Neji-niisan..." Hinata stuttered. Naruto looked at the two of them, a confused look on his face.

"Watashi ga anata de wasurete shimaimashita," he said, his cruel silver eyes glaring at her.

"Hey, whatever you're saying to Hinata, don't sound so mean! She didn't do anything!" Naruto said.

Neji looked at Naruto, a scornful expression on his face. "Anata wa baka desu yo." he said.

"He just told me I had... to cook dinner tonight... that's all..." said Hinata.

"Oh... well, don't sound so mean when you say things!" Naruto said. Kimimaro, who was the only one already preoccupied with something (because Deidara and Sasori were doing homework together at the table), watched his reaction with interest.

"Whatever. Ten Ten, let's go," he said.

"Right!" Ten Ten said brightly, and left with him. Neji gave them a final glare before taking his seat at the other end of the cafeteria with Chouji (who was showcasing his collection of French manga) and Shikamaru (who wasn't paying attention and humming some of Bizet's Carmen while reading a book about Don Quixote).

"Hinata, is he like that all the time?" Naruto asked. Hinata nodded meekly. He furrowed his brow. "...I don't like the way he talks to you, it sounds too mean." he said. "Don't stand for that, okay?"

"Oh... okay..." Hinata said, blushing. Kimimaro smiled at the two, before Zabuza made an entrance and took a seat at the already crowded table (it was becoming a more common occurance, now that he hung around Haku quite often).

Itachi and Kisame also dropped by for a bit. There was a bit of a strange incident when Kisame was asked where his family was from.

"It's a small city in Europe called Atlantia, I think it's somewhere near Denmark," he grinned. Itachi looked at him skeptically.

"That place doesn't even exist, Kisame," he said."Do you mean Atlanta?" Kimimaro offered. "Like Georgia?"

"No, my mom said it was in Denmark," Kisame said, looking a little frustrated. 

"Maybe it was Atlantis!" Naruto said, his face lighting up.

"You're even more of an idiot than him, aren't you?" Itachi said. "Atlantis doesn't exist."

"IT DOES TOO!" Kisame yelled. Dosu, who happened to be nearby, began signing furiously with his hands; an avid believer in conspiracies and the supernatural (especially with aliens), he was a burn victim as a child and was unable to speak due to scarring, so he used sign language to communicate. Itachi didn't seem to notice, but Haku did.

"He says 'Atlantis does exist!'" Haku said, translating. "'You are a fool if you do not believe it is there!'"

There was a bit of silence as Kisame fumed, Itachi went on being apathetic, and everyone else looked at Haku.

"You know sign language?!" Kin said, suprised.

"Sign Language?" Haku said. "Yes, I do. My mother cannot hear, so I learned at early age to use hand signs. I very surprised American and Chinese hand signs were same! Dosu and I have spoken often."

(In truth, Haku's mother was Chinese-American and used the American system of sign language, but with the Chinese word patterns, so her husband and child could understand her.)

Dosu nodded and began signing again. This time, Zaku (bearing an Israeli flag on his backpack), who had returned from the lunch line, provided a translation.

"Oh, what's this? 'Yeah, Haku's really good at it!' he said."

"Dat's coo', boo!" Zabuza said, grinning and patting Haku on the back.

"Yeah, I never knew that!" Naruto said.

Haku smiled. "I am glad you know something new about me now," he said.

Kisame sniffed, done with his silent sulk-attack. "Atlantis... does too exist..." he said.

"Who said it didn't?" Naruto said.

"I did," said Itachi, cool as a cucumber, as usual.

"That's mean," Kin said.

"Yeah, man, you don't have to be so harsh; it hasn't been proven, man," Deidara added.

"Whatever," Itachi said. Kisame began to sulk again.

"Don't worry, amigo!" Lee said, bouncing by in a poncho from Argentina, where his family was from. "Anything is possible is you just believe in yourself!"

"Yeah! Hey, that's right!" Kisame grinned, watching Lee dance away. "Uhuh-huh-huh, yeah!"

"I'm going," Itachi said, leaving the table.

"Bye, 'tachi," Sasori said tersely.

Kisame followed behind with a decidedly friendlier goodbye, and lunch was soon over.

Needless to say, seeing Mr. Might in a sombrero, singing Mexican love songs during Art was one of the funniest things Naruto had ever seen.

Next  
- Kiss The Me (I Ain't Irish, I'm a Fish)


	12. Kiss the Me I Ain't Irish, I'm A Fish

Konoha High  
Chapter 12  
- Kiss The Me (I Ain't Irish, I'm a Fish)

Kisame had things on his mind.

The strange conversations on whether or not Atlantia was indeed a city in Denmark during Culture Day were fresh in his mind as he took a shower on St. Patricks Day, not long after. He was beginning to think that his mom wasn't be entirely truthful when she talked about his heiratage, something she wasn't telling him. He turned off the shower, toweled off and walked to his room across the hall, where he got dressed in a green plaid flannel shirt and jeans for the day. When he came into the kitchen, he found his mother cooking some green scrambled eggs in the pan on the stove. His father had already left for work.

"Good morning, sunshine!" she said brightly. "Want some Green Eggs and Ham?"

Kisame shook his head. "Mom, there's something I want to ask you."

"What is it sweetie, is something the matter?" she asked, turning the stove off and sliding the eggs onto a platter.

"...we're not really from Denmark, are we?" he asked. She sighed and walked toward him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Kisame, sweetie, I've been waiting for you to ask me this," she said. "You're the right age to know. No, we aren't from Denmark. You're a quarter-fish, Kisame."

"A quarter...fish?" Kisame said. His mother nodded.

"Yes, I'm a mermaid, Kisame, so that makes you quarter-fish," she said.

There was silence for a while, so she went on.

"You know that movie The Little Mermaid? The Disney one?" she said. "I sold the story to them so I could buy a house with your father and raise you."

"You mean... you're Ariel...?" Kisame said. His mother nodded. There was another bought of silence, then Kisame began to grin.

"My dreams... my dreams are real...!" he said, his eyes as bright as stars. "Does that mean that Grandpa's the King of the Sea?"

"Well... not really, for a while," his mother replied. "He decided to invest some money in a cruise line, and it's the biggest one out there, so I guess he's reclaimed his position."

"And Ursula?" said Kisame.

"Your godmother," his mother smiled. "They made her evil in the movie for story purposes; the potion she gave me really did take my voice away, but it was only a side-effect that lasted a few days. She didn't try to marry your father, and I didn't turn back on the third day, I just got my voice back and I told Erick everything."

"That... that's so cool!" Kisame said. "It all makes sense now! All the presents I get from my aunts, but I've never met them! How I can talk to fish and breathe underwater and my skin!"

"Your skin, dear, is actually the potion's fault," his mother said. "You were supposed to be a normal baby, but the potion took a lot of my fishy qualities and had them manifest in you when you were born. Your godmother was so apologetic about it afterward, which is why she dotes on you so much."

"Yeah, she did buy Samehada for me." Kisame said. "Oh, mom, this all makes sense! I feel so much better now!"

He gave her a hug and slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm going to school to have a great St. Patrick's Day!" he said.

"But dear, don't you want some Green Eggs and Ham?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I'll get something at school! Bye, mom!"

She waved as he walked out the door and got on his beloved motorcycle, Samehada, ready for a fantastic day.

-///-

Naruto Uzumaki, walking down the hallway not long after Kisame set out for school, was in a mischevious mood indeed.

Other than April Fool's Day, Halloween and Christmas, St. Patrick's Day was his favorite holiday.

For one simple reason.

Pinching people.

On St. Patrick's Day, Naruto practically became a different person, bent on pinching the hell out of anyone who dared not wear green on this festivous day.

His fingers were itching as he approached his locker; of course, he had protected himself by wearing a green shirt, but he was sure to find an unfortunate person who wasn't. The first person on his list to tackle was Kabuto, who was cheerfully wearing a lime-green Hawaiian shirt with a print of shamrocks on it, so he tacked him off the imaginary list. Making his way to Science, he descreetly pinched anyone who passed by not wearing them, and entered the room feeling very much like a ninja, for he hadn't been seen. Haku and Hinata were safe as well, Haku wearing a green sweater and Hinata in a sweatshirt of the same color.

"Happy Patricks Day, Naruto!" Haku called.

"It's Saint Patrick's Day, Haku," Naruto corrected. "You guys seen anyone not wearing green?"

"Not yet..." Hinata replied. A bit annoyed, Naruto looked around the room for anyone he could target.

When Gaara entered, he thought he had found someone he could get, but was a bit unhappy to find that a small shamrock had been colored in green marker right in the middle of his heart-shaped scar. Naruto laughed a little bit to see it there.

"Wearing something other than red or black today, Gaara?" he asked playfully.

"Bloody Lee drew it on the bus this morning..." he replied. "Said he didn't want to see me get pinched. No difference, _nobody_ bloody pinches me."

Naruto laughed.

"It looks rather cute..." said Hinata. Gaara glared at her indifferently.

"Thanks, I guess." he replied, and sat in his seat at the back of the class. There was still a few minutes left before class was to begin, and the class was nearly full (despite the fact Mr. Hatake hadn't shown up yet, but that wasn't suprising; he often showed up even 15 minutes after class was set to begin.), except for one person.

And when he walked in the room, Naruto immediately saw his chance.

Sasuke was wearing nothing but black, grey and blue, without a scrap of green fabric or dye on him. As soon as he had taken his seat, Naruto put on a grin and made his way towards him.

"Good morning, Sasuke! Do you know what day it is?" he asked. Sasuke glanced at him from the scowling expression he wore, with his hands knit together by his nose, which reminded Naruto of a character from this one anime he got to watch one day at Kin's house, though he couldn't remember the name; it was something like Gen-dough and he wore glasses. His beard looked like Mr. Sarutobi's, if he thought really hard. Sasuke replied as he got his thoughts out of the anime.

"March 17th...?" he said.

"And you know what holiday that is?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Um...no, why are you asking me, you retard?" he replied.

"Because it's St. Patrick's Day, Little Sasuke." said Naruto (who was in a very mischevious mood, indeed). "Do you know what that means?"

"Not really, why'd you call me 'Little Sasuke'? It sounds stupid," Sasuke replied.

"If you're not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day," Naruto explained sweetly, "then people are given unofficial permission to pinch you anytime, anywhere."

"Yeah...? And that's important how...?" said Sasuke.

"What aren't you wearing, Sweet Little Sasuke?" Naruto said, a positively wicked grin on his face by now. Sasuke didn't bother to check.

"Hell if I know, why are you calling me this?" he said, glaring.

"Because..." Naruto said, and immediately gave Sasuke a long, hard, painful pinch on the bum. Sasuke's fingers curled and his face distorted into a look of absolute pain.

"...YOU'RE NOT WEARING GREEN!" Naruto crowed, and ran back to his seat, laughing. The classroom, who had been watching him mercilessly tease Sasuke, roared with laughter, and even Gaara let a few chuckles slip.

"The pain...!" Sasuke said, getting out of his seat, chasing Naruto while clasping his wounded butt with one hand and reaching for his arm with the other.

"Ah-ah-ah! You can't pinch me back!" he laughed.

"Why not?" said Sasuke. "You fricken pinched me."

"Yeah, but I'm wearing green today," said Naruto, sticking out his tongue. "Too bad, emo-emu."

"That's a stupid rule," said Sasuke, and sulked back to his seat. "St. Patrick's Day sucks."

"To you, everything sucks, emo-pussy!" Gaara called, as Mr. Hatake came into the room.

"Okay, class, what's going on?" he asked, noticing the chuckling students.

"Sasuke did not know rules of St. Patrick's Day," Haku laughed. "Naruto explained it to him with pinch!"

Mr. Hatake, who was wearing a green shirt that day, laughed. "Hehehe, better come prepared next year, Uchiha, we get really enthusiastic about St. Patrick's Day here." he said.

"Whatever..." Sasuke replied gloomily.

The lesson continued with a rather fun day, where Mr. Hatake set up a bunch of different experiments where the students could add chemicals to things that would make them turn green, in honor of the holiday. Needless to say, Sasuke decided that "Science is for retards," that day and didn't follow instructions, so he ended up with green smoke staining his face and turning it a spectacular shade of emerald. While everyone laughed at him, he ran out of the classroom and tried to wash it off in the bathroom, but his endeavors were unsuccessful, and he ended up with a stained face for the rest of the day (it would have washed off with some cold water, but he didn't listen to Mr. Hatake and tried to use hot, to no success).

-///-

At lunch, the theme was green as well, with lots of different vegetables and dishes that were more or less in pleasant shades of green. When he took his seat at the usual table, he almost dropped his tray out of shock and suprise.

Sasori was sitting with a sullen look on his face, dressed in a leprechaun outfit.

"Oh... my... god!" he said, struggling to breathe through his laughs. "Sasori...! What... are... you... wearing...?!"

"A leprechaun outfit, what does it look like?" he replied sourly.

"I got it for him, man," Deidara said, smiling. "He looks cute in it."

"I do not," Sasori replied, crossing his arms and scowling.

"Dosu thought you were," Kimimaro said.

"Dosu also believes in the Loch Ness Monster," Sasori replied.

"True..." Kimimaro said quietly.

"But Nessie exists!" Kisame said, walking past the table.

"Hey, Kisame!" said Tayuya. "You look happy today, what's up?"

"I settled some issues this morning, nothing too big," he replied cheerily, with a big yellow grin. "You seen Itachi anywhere?"

"I think he's at an eye doctor today, man," said Deidara. "Said he wouldn't be at lunch, wonder what's wrong with him, man."

"Aww, then who will I sit with?" Kisame said, looking a bit sad.

"Us, dawg," said Zabuza, pulling up an extra chair to the already crowded table.

"Dude, we're gonna have to find a bigger table!" Naruto said. "Look, we can barely fit in here as it is!"

"That's true..." said Ukon, who had managed to drag himself to school, despite his cold.

"Then let's!" Kin said brightly. And so they did.

The mis-matched party of friends searched around the cafeteria for a suitable area that would allow for them all to sit together, and once settling there, sat down in a unanimous motion that attracted the attention of most of the cafeteria and caused them to whisper and giggle a little.

"Hey look, a leprechaun!" Kisame said, pointing at Sasori, once they had settled.

"I am NOT a leprechaun, Kisame," Sasori replied, his face growing bright red.

"Oh, sorry, Sasori," Kisame said. "You really do look like a leprechaun, can I have your pot of gold?"

"NO," Sasori stated harshly, and Kisame laughed.

The class hours had been shortened that day for an all-school-event that afternoon, so after the brief art class with Mr. Might (who made everyone make a picture using nothing but green media), everyone cleared into the large field outside the school that was used for launching rockets and such. The whole place was covered in clovers that the Gardening Club had planted the winter before, and the place looked like a lovely green carpet.

"Everyone!" Principal Sandaime shouted with his loudspeaker. "Here's the rules for the Great Golden Shamrock Hunt!"

Everyone stopped buzzing to listen.

"In this field, we have hidden a single golden shamrock! The finder of this golden shamrock, before school ends, will get a $25 gift certificate to Starchild Coffeehouse!"

Everyone began talking excitedly, as Starchild Coffee was one of the most popular places to hang out.

"On your mark... get set... search!" Principle Sandaime said, and the search was on. Some people quickly ran around, looking for a glint of gold in the clover, while some went slowly along and looked closely among the plants for the shamrock. Hinata knew she wouldn't find the thing, so she just stood off to one side and watched people wildly go about. As the time wore on, people were beginning to get irritated.

She sat down and plucked a clover-flower from the ground, turning it in her hand and daydreaming, when someone came up to her.

"Hey, Hinata...?"

It was Zetsu, the equally shy young boy, who had a small basket full of four-leaf clovers tucked under his arm. She knew him because she was a member of the Gardening Club as well.

"Oh, hi Zetsu," she replied. "Any luck finding the shamrock...?"

"The shamrock...? I've found lots...!" he said, proudly showing off his collection of 4-leaf clovers (he had misheard the instructions, and thought they were looking for natural shamrocks instead of a single gold pin). "They're everywhere...! Oh yeah, I found this gold pin too, but I don't like it... you want it...?"

Hinata's heart lept for a moment, and she smiled. "Sure, I guess..." she replied. He put the shiny thing in her hands and went merrily on his quest for shamrocks, before Hinata went over to Principal Sandaime and showed it to him.

"We have a winner!" he declared into the megaphone. "Hinata Hyuuga is the winner!"  
Some people booed and whined, but the rest cheered her. Her friends came up and gave her a big hug as Vice-Principal Godaime gave her the card.

"L-let's go get some coffee...!" she said to them, smiling. "M-my treat..." There were definately more cheers for this, and when the bell rang, they were on their way. However, Deidara noticed something weird as they left the field.

"Sasori, man, there's like... shamrocks growing where you step," she said.

"No way, where?" he said. "I don't see any."

"It's cos you're not looking hard enough, man," she said. "They're there."

"Yeah right, it's just a coincidence," said Sasori.

"I think not, man," Deidara smiled, watching the clovers spring up from her friend's footmarks.

Dosu also noticed, and when he got home, wrote a letter and sent it up in a balloon for the fairies to read, asking if Sasori Akasuna was one of them. A week later, he found a letter on his doorstep saying "Sorry, we don't know. Try asking an alien, they should have a directory in the Hitchhiker's Guide, it's a wholly remarkable book."

Next  
- Hail to the Thief


	13. Hail To The Thief

Konoha High  
Chapter 13- Hail to the Thief -

"Naru… Naru, get up, it's time for school!"

Naruto sleepily rolled over in his bed as his father's voice, gently urging in French, woke him.

"Papaaaa... it's Saturday, I don't have school..." he replied in the same language.

"Naruto, it's Friday, of course you have school," said Yondaime.

"Really?" Naruto said, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

"Yes, now get up and take your shower, I already made breakfast," he replied, and left the room. A bit skeptical, Naruto eyed his clock and saw that it indeed read "Friday, March 31," and indicated that, being 6:00, it was time for his shower.

While he scrubbed his hair, he contemplated on the strange dream he had, where Gaara was walking upside-down on a tree and he had to take a test where everyone was cheating. Dressing, he put on a shirt proclaiming "Don't Make Me Go Zelda On You," and walked down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Bonjour, mon fils!" Yondaime said cheerfully, a coffee cup in one hand. "Want some bacon?"

"Sure!" Naruto replied, glancing at the television on the counter. It also stated that it was Friday, March 31. Must be one of those days, he reasoned, stuffing a slice of bacon into his mouth.

"Ready for school?" his father asked. "You'll have to take the bus today, you know."

"Oh yeah, cos the car's getting repairs, right?" Naruto said. Yondaime nodded.

"Yes, shouldn't it be arriving in about 5 minutes?" he said.

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, I guess it does."

"You'd better get your things, shouldn't you?" his father said. Naruto nodded, finished his bacon, and packed up his things in his backpack.

"Laters, Dad!" he called, walking out the door and starting down the long, brick-paved driveway. Yondaime smirked, and immediately picked up his cell phone.

"Yo, Fang! Yeah, it's all clear, you can send everyone in. This is gonna be one HELL of an April Fool's joke..."

Naruto rode the bus, listening to his new Kingdom Hearts 2 soundtrack and smiling, before departing and heading towards his locker. The halls were as crowded as ever, with students walking to their classes. He noticed that several of them wore puzzled or tired expressions on their faces, but other than that, it was just a regular day.

Getting his things, he walked to Mr. Hatake's class. Haku and Hinata were waiting for him at the front of the room, as usual, although Haku's face was bright red and he seemed to be wearing Hinata's sweatshirt.

"Hey, what's going on here?" he asked.

"I am most embarrassed..." Haku said, holding his forehead.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"Sai-gege played a most horrible trick on me..." he replied.

"You can show him at lunch... okay, Haku...?" Hinata said. Haku nodded as a few more students filed into the room.

The next 5 minutes passed; Gaara stalked into the room, Sasuke shuffled and glared his way to his seat, Chouji stomped in his usual way. The bell rang, and Mr. Hatake hadn't shown up yet, but that wasn't a suprise. People chatted idly while they waited for the eccentric Science teacher to appear. 10, 15 minutes passed, and still no Mr. Hatake. By now, people were getting a little bit suprised, but continued doing as they were. Chouji had finished his first graphic novel and was going on to his second, Sasuke, who was doodling with ballpoint pen on his arm, had made it halfway up the top of his forearm and was moving towards the inside. Naruto took out his PSP and offered his DS to Hinata, but she had a book and replied that she didn't need it, but thanks anyways.

A half-hour later, the class was nearly over, and Mr. Hatake hadn't even shown up. Sasuke had covered his arm in blue ink and was struggling to start on his right arm, Chouji had a large stack of his japanese manga on his desk and was giggling a little bit. Naruto had finished a whole new level on his video game, and Haku decided to start on a letter to his parents, and Hinata was looking along and admiring his calligraphy.

The bell rang a few minutes later; the entire class had gone by, and Mr. Hatake hadn't shown up once. Naruto decided it was strange, but went on to his next class, with Language Arts with Mr. Nara. However, this teacher was absent as well. And so, it was the same; Mr. Sarutobi was missing for Math, Mr. Umino was absent from History, and even Ms.Yuhi wasn't there for Gym. Most of the time, the students just sat in their seats, waiting for the teacher to come in the door and start the lesson; however, none of them came. When the bell for lunch rang, Naruto made his way to the cafeteria, and found, horrifiedly, that Mr. Ibiki and the rest of the lunch staff were missing, and thus they had nothing to eat. Luckily, he had some money with him, so he got himself some chips and sat down at the table. Deidara and Sasori had decided to sit with Kisame and Itachi, who were in a table at the corner, so the seats were abundant today.

"What the fuck's up with today, dude?" Tayuya said, sipping her soda. "Where are all the fuckin' teachers?"

"Heck if I know! I'm just as confused as you are." Naruto replied.

"Haku, what the heck's up with that sweater?" Kin asked.

"...I am going to sit somewhere else and wait for Zabuza..." he said, trying to get away.

"Hold on here, what're you wearing under that?" Kin said, grabbing him by the arm.

"Let go me!" Haku said, pulling strongly away so that Kin suddenly lost her grip. "I am most embarrassed!"

"You might as well show what happened... Haku..." Hinata said. Haku sighed, and his face turned red.

"Okay..." he said. "You all promise not laugh at me." Everyone nodded solemnly. "Well, I woke in morning and found that Sai-gege had hidden all my clothes except..."

He took off the sweatshirt and everyone burst into rediculous laughter as Sai and Zabuza walked by, chatting casually.

Haku was wearing the outfit Zabuza had given him on Christmas, with fishnets, tight denim, leather buckles and writing on the blouse that said "GHETTO BUNNY".

"Boo!" Zabuza said, pleased. "Whatchu doin' in th'outfit I gotchu for Christmas?"

Sai giggled in his usual, feminine way. "That's my doing." he said. "Oh Haku, you look so CUTE!"

Haku's face turned even redder.

"Awww, sorry if I embarrassed you..." Sai said, giving Haku a hug (although the small boy barely was shoulder-high compared to him). "I won't do it ever again, honey, if that's what you want."

Haku nodded, nearly in tears because of the embarrassment.

"You look way hot, boo," Zabuza said, trying to reassure Haku.

"Sai, that was fuckin' cruel," Tayuya said.

"Yeah, but I couldn't resist," he said. "Where is everyone today, by tha way?"

"The teachers? I have no idea," Kimimaro said. "Do you suppose there was a meeting today and nobody alerted the substitutes?"

"Who knows?" Naruto said. "It's all real weird, dontcha think?"

"Oh yeah," Kimimaro said. "Do you think someones pulling a joke on us?"

"Maybe..." Kin said.

"Wait, I wonder..." Naruto said, and dug in his backpack for his laptop.

"What're you doin'?" Tayuya asked.

"Just checkin' something..." he said, and opened up a window as it finished booting up. A black window opened up, flickered, and lit up to show his father at the computer in their living room. However, they didn't expect to see every single one of their teachers and parents gathered in various places around Naruto's house.

"WHAT THE FUCK," Tayuya exclaimed, voicing the thoughts of every single person there.

"Kimi...?" Naruto said.

"Yeah...?"

"Get your van. Now. We're going to my house."

-///-

"So, how's it going?" Kakashi Hatake asked Yondaime, peering over his shoulder and observing the feed from the cameras that Jiraiya had placed around the school so the parents and teachers could observe what would happen on the Saturday they faked was Friday. It was a complicated prank that involved calling the television and radio stations to play their feed as if it were Friday, March 31. The bus companies were also notified, to perform their routes as usual for the day. The parents and teachers all met at the Uzumaki residence to hang out, have drinks, watch TV and laugh at the puzzled expressions on their children's faces as they realised there was absolutely no authority in the school, and what they would do afterward. So far, they had gone on their days as if the teachers were really there, which was gut-bustingly amusing.

"So far, they don't suspect a thing," he chuckled. "Yamanaka! How're those taquitos comin'?"

"Great!" Ino and Deidara's father called. "They'll be done in 3 minutes!"

"Dude, what's the score on the game?" Mr. Nara asked, taking a nap in an armchair, a newspaper over his face.

"We're winning, 34 to nothin'!" Mr. Akimichi said, dipping another tortilla chip into the salsa.

"Hey, whose car is that comin' up the driveway?" Mrs. Inuzuka asked, coming into the livingroom.

"Car?" Mr. Umino said.

"Dunno, maybe Old Chiyo decided to show up," Principal Sandaime chuckled, helping himself to a root beer.

"But she doesn't own a car..." Tsunade noted. There was silence for a moment, before...

"DAD! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE??"

Naruto and his friends burst into the door, effectively crashing the party.

"Naruto! Hahaha, oh my god, we've been caught!" he laughed.

Forced to explain, the parents allowed the students to stay for the rest of the party and watch the game, and watch the rest of the school day unravel.

Needless to say, Naruto was still pissed off he couldn't pull any pranks on one of his favorite holidays.

However, he had an idea of how to get back at his father.

The next morning, Yondaime found himself saran-wrapped to his bed, chicken feathers everywhere.

Next -  
Chat! Chat!! Chat!!!


	14. Chat!  Chat!  Chat!

Konoha High  
Chapter 14  
- Chat! Chat!! Chat!!! -

- noodleztehfox has signed in -

noodleztehfox says:  
hey, hina, can I ask you something?

mondayschild says:  
?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
you got the notes for sci tomorrow?

mondayschild says:  
No, Haku has them...

noodleztehfoxsays:  
he on?

mondayschild says:  
I think so, let me invite him in...

- hakubai has joined the conversation -

hakubai says:  
yes?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
haku, I need the sci notes

hakubai says:  
sci?

mondayschild says:  
He means Science...

hakubai says:  
oh yes, i will send to you in email

noodleztehfox says:  
thanks!

hakubai says:  
no problem!

hakubai says:  
may I invite someone in?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
sure, why not?

hakubai says:  
thank you!

- tupacLIVES has joined the conversation -

tupacLIVES says:  
Yo

noodleztehfoxsays:  
Zabuza?

mondayschild says:  
Hello...

tupacLIVES says:  
wutz goin on here?

hakubai says:  
we are instant messaging!

noodleztehfoxsays:  
??

tupacLIVES says:  
borin, hold on

- heartshapedfish has joined the conversation -

- dracoweasley has joined the conversation -

noodleztehfox says:  
waht?

tupacLIVES says:  
much betta

mondayschild says:  
...

hakubai says:  
)

heartshapedfish says:  
hi all!

tupacLIVES says:  
yo, Kisa

dracoweasley says:  
Why'd you invite us in?

tupacLIVES says:  
it wuz borin in here

heartshapedfish says:  
ehehehe

dracoweasley says:  
wtf, Zabu

mondayschild says:  
...

noodleztehfox says:  
what's going on?

hakubai says:  
this is much fun. :)

dracoweasley says:  
Might as well...

- radioactivedarkyouth has joined the conversation -

- kingofnitemares has joined the conversation -

noodleztehfoxsays:  
eh...?

mondayschild says:...  
I'm getting confused...

radioactivedarkyouth says:  
What's this?

heartshapedfish says:  
ehehehe

kingofnitemares says:  
...

kingofnitemares says:  
bloody hell...

noodleztehfox says:  
Gaara?

mondayschild says:  
...

radioactivedarkyouth says:  
wtf is going on?

hakubai says:  
haha, this is fun!

- heartzandstarz has joined the conversation -

heartzandstarz says:  
OMG LIEK HI SASUKE!!!!!!1!

radioactivedarkyouth says:  
great...

heartshapedfish says:  
ehehehe

heartzandstarz says:  
how r u :)

radioactivedarkyouth says:  
stfu, leave me alone

mondayschild says:  
...

kingofnitemares says:  
bloody emo...

heartzandstarz says:  
OMG, is somthing wrong:'(

noodleztehfoxsays:  
/blank stare

mondayschild says:  
...

heartshapedfish says:  
hey guys, look who's on!

- paranoidannedroid has joined the conversation -

- bobskellington has joined the conversation -

- patrickXspongebob666 has joined the conversation -

bobskellington says:  
what's this?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
omg /moo

paranoidannedroid says:  
Yo, sup everyone?

hakubai says:  
hello, kin!

heartzandstarz says:  
OMG WHO R U:)

heartshapedfish says:  
ehehehe, whee!

mondayschild says:  
...

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
wtf, this ruelz

heartzandstarz says:  
HELLOO:'( u guyz r ignring me:(

- mizpiggi has joined the conversation -

paranoidannedroid says:  
how long has this been going on?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
I just signed on a few minutes ago...

mizpiggi says:  
lol hi sasuke! 3

radioactivedarkyouth says:  
...

heartzandstarz says:  
OMG HI INO:) How R U???

mizpiggi says:  
...

heartshapedfish says:  
uh-oh

bobskellington says:  
Oh goodness, the games have begun, I see...

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
did you start this, Ita?

heartshapedfish says:  
he did

tupacLIVES says:  
he did

tupacLIVES says:  
word

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
bastard

dracoweasley says:  
Why, thank you. D

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
sigh

- yeahman has joined the conversation -

- scorepyon has joined the conversation -

paranoidannedroid says:  
nice move, Tayu!

bobskellington says:  
nod

yeahman says:  
hi eveyone, lol XD

mizpiggi says:  
oh crap

mizpiggi says:  
g2g

mizpiggi says:  
bai sasuke!

- mizpiggi has left the conversation -

yeahman says:  
that my sister XD

scorepyon says:  
whats gonig on here?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
I have absolutely no idea...

kingofnitemares says:  
It's bloody mental...

paranoidannedroid says:  
I'll say

heartshapedfish says:  
ehehehe

- happyhappyjoyboy has joined the conversation -

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
Helloooo everyoneee! hugs everyone

kingofnitemares says:  
...bloody hell!

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
hi sakura:3

heartzandstarz says:  
OMG LEAVE ME ALONEE!!!!!!!!!!11111!

heartzandstarz says:  
I h8 u, dont u understand:(

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
...:(

heartzandstarz says:  
OMG UR RIUNING MY LIFE LOSER!!!!!

- heartzandstarz has left the conversation -

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
;;

kingofnitemares says:  
aww, mate, don't be down

paranoidannedroid says:  
two birds with one stone?

bobskellington says:  
I guess

yeahman says:  
lol XD

heartshapedfish says:  
hey guys, check this out!

heartshapedfish says:  
//hamster

((hamster dance starts playing))

dracoweasley says:  
wtf

radioactivedarkyouth says:  
that's retarded

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
the hell? awesome!

noodleztehfoxsays:  
I love this song/dance

radioactivedarkyout says:  
whatever, I'm leaving

- radioactivedarkyouth has left the conversation -

kingofnitemares says:  
thank god, finally

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
emo's make the world a sadder place... xx

paranoidannedroid says:  
wth, Lee XD

yeahman says:  
lol XD

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
how'd you do that, Kisa?

heartshapedfish says:  
plugin somewhere

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
sweet

dracomalfoy says:  
It's annoying...

yeahman says :  
your no fun itachi XD

scorepyon says:  
You're as bad as your brother

dracoweasley says:  
...

tupacLIVES says:  
burned! hahaha!

noodleztehfox says:  
hahahaha

bobskellington says:  
You could just sign out, Itachi.

dracoweasley says:  
whatever

- dracoweasley has left the conversation -

heartshapedfish says:  
where were you, Zabu?

tupacLIVES says:  
talkin with haku

hakubai says:  
he was talking with me, yes

bobskellington says:  
I see!

tupacLIVES says:  
yea

yeahman says:  
lol caht party XD

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
right-on X3

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
aww shit, I gotta go

patrickXspongebob666 says:  
laters

- patrickXspongebob666 has left the conversation -

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
mm, I gotta go too

happyhappyjoyboy says:  
see you at school tomorrow! 8D

paranoidannedroid says:  
later, Lee

- happyhappyjoyboy has left the conversation -

kingofnitemares says:  
...

- kingofnitemares has left the conversation -

paranoidannedroid says:  
ah, that's so typical XD

yeahman says:  
yeah XD

scorepyon says:  
remind me, what's really going on here?

noodleztehfoxsays:  
no clue

scorepyon says:  
ok then

- scorepyon has left the conversation -

yeahman says:  
that's my cue XD

yeahman says:  
laters! XD

- yeahman has left the conversation -

- kinkyboi69 has joined the conversation -

kinkyboi69 says:  
Haku, it's time for dinner, sweetie, come on down.

hakubai says:  
oh, okay!

hakubai says:  
I will talk to you later!

- hakubai has left the conversation -

- kinkyboy69 has left the conversation -

tupacLIVES says:  
later, bitches

- tupacLIVES has left the conversation -

heartshapedfish says:  
gotta go, you guys, see you later!

- heartshapedfish has left the conversation -

paranoidannedroid says:  
I'm gonna finish reading some scanlations, see you guys later.

- paranoidannedroid has left the conversation -

bobskellingtonsays:  
Time for me to go, too. )

bobskellington says:  
Peace.

- bobskellington has left the conversation -

noodleztehfoxsays:  
Hina, you still here or something?

mondayschild says:  
Yes...

noodleztehfox says:  
that was weird, wasn't it?

mondayschild says:  
Yeah...

- hyuugah4x0rz has joined the conversation -

- lolitababy13 has joined the conversation -

lolitababy13 says:  
I wants on the comp, Hina, it's MY turn now. Had to use my cell.

hyuugah4x0rz says:  
Time for dinner, too

mondayschild says:  
Oh, I gotta go...

noodleztehfox says:  
Okay, see you later/wave

mondayschild says:  
Thanks...

- mondayschild has left the conversation -

lolitababy13 says:  
That's so lame.

noodleztehfoxsays:  
Hey!

- hyuugah4x0rz has left the conversation -

- lolitababy13 has left the conversation -

- noodlestehfox has signed out -

Next -  
I'll Be Home For Easter

-///-

Author's Notes -

There seemed to be some confusion as to who was who upon the first posting. So, here's the who's-who. )

noodlestehfox- Naruto

mondayschild - Hinata

hakubai - Haku

tupacLIVES - Zabuza

heartshapedfish - Kisame

dracoweasley - Itachi

radioactivedarkyouth- Sasuke

kingofnitemares- Gaara

heartzandstarz- Sakura

paranoidannedroid- Kin

bobskellington- Kimimaro

patrickXspongebob666- Tayuya

mizpiggi- Ino

yeahman- Deidara

scorepyon- Sasori

happyhappyjoyboy- Lee

kinkyboy69- Sai

hyuugah4x0rz- Neji

lolitababy13- Hanabi


	15. I'll Be Home For April

Konoha High

Chapter 15

- I'll Be Home For April -

A blonde-haired woman stood in the office of Konoha High, idlly twirling her pigtail while her boyfriend negotiated with the secretaries there. Her mind was on things outside of the school, namely craving something to eat and giving her dad a call, but her thoughts were broken as her boyfriend came back.  
"All set, here's your tag," he said, sticking a small indentification sticker on her jacket.  
"That's it?" she asked.  
"That's it," he replied with a smirk.

"My god, that was easy. All right, mon cherie," she said, a mischevious grin on her face as she walked out of the office with him, "let's cause some mischief around here, mm?"

Meanwhile, in Mr. Hatake's Science class, the teacher in question was late yet again.

"Jeesh! When will Hatake EVER be on time for a class?" Naruto sighed, slumping into his seat and reaching into his cargo pants for a portable gaming device of some kind to pass the time with.

"I can't say," Haku said thoughtfully.

"Huh...?" Hinata said suddenly. "Haku, what did you...just say?"  
"Say what?" Haku asked.  
"You said... 'can't' instead of 'cannot' like you usually do..." Hinata said, smiling a little. "Your english... is improving, isn't it?"  
"Ah! Yes, it is!" Haku said enthusiastically. "I learned during my lessons that I can put words together to make them sound more natural, like 'won't' and 'don't' and 'can't'. They are called contractions, right?"

"Yeah, that's right!" Naruto said. "That's awesome, Haku! Maybe you can start working on stuff like 'they're' and whatever."  
"Ah, but I get that confused with 'their', the possessive word," Haku explained.  
"The what?" Naruto said, wrinkling his brow.  
"Their, as in t-h-e-i-r...?" Hinata spelled. Haku nodded.

"Yes, that one," Haku said.  
"I still have no idea what you're talking about..." Naruto said, leaning back. "Grammar's so weird!"

"Okay, class!" Mr. Hatake said, entering the room with a book in hand.  
"You're late, Mr. Hakake," the class droned in reply.

"I know, I know," he said, smiling it off. "Well, let's get started, uh?"  
He took a marker and started to write on the board.  
"Seeing as we only have about... 45 minutes left in class, let's make the best of it," he said cheerfully. "Okay, we're going to review acids and bases today. Easy stuff, you guys should pick it up right-"  
"ZANG ZIDAM, THE CALVARY IS HERE! Where's that scarecrow?"

A loud female voice, accompanied by the door to Mr. Hatake's room slamming open, was heard. Naruto's head perked up immediately.

"What's going on?" Haku asked, voicing the collective thoughts of the room.

Everyone in the room had their eyes turned towards the two people in the doorway; a young blonde woman, her hair tied up in pigtails, with piercing blue eyes and strange lines on her cheeks, and a man with spiky black hair and eyes, a placid smile on his lips. Most people met them with suprised looks on their faces, while one was extremely joyful, and another was absolutely horrified.  
"Naruko, 'zzat you?!" Naruto said, a delighed squeal in his voice.

The woman's face instantly lit up, and she giggled. "Mon frère!" she squealed, running over and giving Naruto a firm hug around the head. "Haha, so the schedule was right!"

"Who is this...?" Hinata asked.  
"It's my older sister! Naruko, what the heck are you doing here?" Naruto asked her, but she couldn't answer, for the resident emo of the class had something to say as well.

"Obito... what in the WORLD are you DOING in my SCHOOL?" he demanded.  
"Paying you a visit... little brother," the man replied, ruffling Sasuke's already unruly hair, much to his discontent.  
"Hey! I spent an hour making this look right!" he protested.

"All the more reason to muss it up," Obito chuckled. "Yo, Scarecrow! Howzit hanging, dude?"  
"Pretty all right, yourself?" Mr. Hatake replied, giving Obito a high-five, much to the class's confusion.

"Naruko, who the heck is this guy?" Naruto demanded, pointing at Obito, who stood smiling at the front of the class.

"My boyfriend, of course!" Naruko replied, bouncing to his side and planting a smooch on his cheek. "I met him in Paris, isn't he something? Said he knew someone at your new school, so I just HAD to pay a visit, you know?"

"Ol' Scarecrow here and I go way back," Obito grinned, with Mr. Hakate joining him.

Gaara, who was a remarkably observant person, knit his non-existant eyebrows and glanced at Sasuke. "He called you 'little brother', didn't he?" he asked.  
"Yeah... unfortunately," Sasuke sulked. "We're related."  
"Don't be so impersonal, I'm your favorite older brother!" Obito said.

"Mom and Dad practically disowned you, you loser," Sasuke grumbled.  
"Ah, that's just 'cos 'tachi's a better student than I was," Obito replied, laughing a little. "Hey, at least I didn't waste college money. And it's not called 'disowning', my darling little brother, it's more like 'I moved out because I was 19-freaking-years-old and I wanted out of that house'."

Naruto, who had been watching, silent with horror, finally burst.  
"NARUKO, WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??" he shouted, much louder than was necessary.  
"Doing what?" she replied innocently.

"You're... freaking DATING the BROTHER of my WORST ENEMY!" he spewed.  
"Since when was I your worst enemy?" Sasuke said, curling his lip rather disgustingly and glancing in Naruto's direction.

"Since like... forever, dude!" Naruto replied. Sasuke took that into account and wrote it into his journal.

_April 13th_

_Officially declared Naruto's rival. More reason to hate the little spazz, but I hate Itachi more... and Obito for barging in and ruining my life. I hate my life._

"Rivals, eh? Oh, Sasuke, you little monkey," Obito teased. Sasuke glared back at him.  
"How was I supposed to know, Naru? I don't know anything about what goes on over here," she replied.  
"Yeah you do! I write you emails and stuff!" Naruto protested.  
"I... don't think you said anything about this kid over here," she said, pointing to Sasuke.

"I have a name, you know," Sasuke hissed.

"You're so emo, your emo-ness knows no name," Gaara replied smoothly. A few people giggled.

"All you say is 'that emo kid', and I don't know any emo kids," Naruko replied.  
"Narukoooooo, you're ruining my liiiiiife!" Naruto whined.  
"Oh, get over it," she teased, sticking out her tongue. "Darling Obito, what are we to do?"  
"Well, we've paid a visit. Need any help at the moment, Scarecrow?" he asked Mr. Hatake.

"I guess I should introduce you, eh?" Mr. Hatake replied. "Obito, here, was a buddy of mine in elementary school."  
"Elementary... school?" someone said.

"Kindergarten buddies... ahh, good times," Obito sighed. "Turns out he lived across the street from me, so we kept in touch."  
"But aren't you like... way younger?" another person asked.  
"Dude, I was the one in kindergarten. Scarecrow here was in 5th grade," he said, pointing a thumb at Mr. Hatake. "Kindergarten Buddies? Don't tell me you never did that, eh?"  
A few kids nodded as they remembered the similarly-themed programs of their far-off elementary school days.

"What's with the 'Scarecrow' thing?" Gaara asked.  
"My nickname, of course," Mr. Hakate said. "No idea how it came to be. You remember?"  
"No idea, all I know is that it just stuck," Obito replied. "Oh yeah, you still keep in touch with Rin?"  
"Wait, wait, who's that now? Your ex or something?" Naruto interrupted.  
"My babysitter, man," Obito replied, "and she was Scarecrow's old flame. You remember her, eh, Sasuke?"  
"No...?" Sasuke replied.  
"Purple hair, she played Candyland with you!" he laughed. "She thought you were so cute as a kid."  
"...shut up..." Sasuke said quietly, scribbling in his journal once more.  
"Well, we're going off on a tangent. I guess that's enough," Mr. Hatake said. "Any chance you guys wanna help do some experiments with acids and bases?"  
"Do I ever!" Naruko cheered.

As the class went on, Naruto still couldn't quite get over the shock of his sister not only unexpectedly visiting, but that she was dating someone related to Sasuke and Itachi that was actually... pretty cool, now that he thought of it.

The bell rang, and class ended. Everyone exited, chatting about the commotion Naruko and Obito had caused, and the energetic demonstrations they helped Mr. Hatake give. Obito stayed after a bit to talk with Mr. Hatake, so Naruko hung out a little bit more. Naruto finished packing up his backpack, and approached her.  
"So, was it nice seeing me?" she asked, giving him a small hug. Naruto smiled.  
"Yeah, really cool! It was fun," he replied. "But, what are you doing back from Paris?"  
"I'm moving in, of course," she replied with a wink. "Heard the new house was something special, so I'm coming back."  
"Really??" Naruto said excitedly. She nodded.  
"Well, yeah!" she said. "And Obito's planning on staying with his parents for a bit, or getting his own apartment nearby."  
Naruto grinned. "That's awesome, but... are you two... going to get married or something?" he asked, rather uneasily.  
"Maybe," Naruko replied mischeviously, causing Naruto to groan.  
"Man... I do NOT want to be related to that whiny emo, Sasuke," he said.  
"Does that mean you don't like me?" Obito asked him, coming up unexpectedly from behind.  
"Eh? No, I think you're pretty cool!" Naruto replied. "Really!"  
Obito laughed. "Your little brother's pretty cool, Koko-my-dear. What do you think of him, Scarecrow?" he asked.

"Naruto's a bright kid, he's just not the smartest crayon in the box sometimes," Mr. Hatake replied candidly, with a smile on his face.  
"Hey, that's not nice!" Naruto replied. The adults began to laugh. "Wanna come with me to my other classes?" he asked his sister, getting over the comment.  
"Sure, I'd absolutely love it!" she replied. "Seeing what you do, it seems like a lot of fun!"

They walked down the hall together, on his way to English. "So... have you told Mom and Dad you're moving in yet?" Naruto asked.  
"Eh? Um, no, I'm gonna tell them tonight," she replied.

"Naruko!"

The three walked happily together to Naruto's classes, and when lunch came about, he planned on introducing them to everyone.  
After paying for lunch that they could share, he found the usual table and made his way over; today, it was stripped of the usual surplus members of Deidara, Sasori, Tayuya and Zabuza (who were all off at tables and locations unknown), and Ukon was having a notoriously bad day with his allergies, so he opted to stay home and rest.  
"Heyos, guys!" Naruto said cheerfully, plopping his tray down.  
"Yo!" Kin replied. Naruko and Obito enthusiastically sat with their trays.  
"Man, I haven't had a lunch like this in ages!" Naruko giggled, sticking her spork into her macaroni and cheese.

"Good stuff, good stuff," Obito added.

"And you guys are...?" Kin asked, open-endedly.  
"Oh! Kin, umm, this is my big sister, Naruko, and her boyfriend, Obito Uchiha. They're visiting today," Naruto replied.

"Really! I didn't know you had an older sister," Kimimaro said delightedly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Kimimaro." He reached his hand over the table, and she shook it.

"Nice to meet you too!" Naruko replied. "Who're the rest of you guys?"  
"Oh, I'm Kin Tsuchi," Kin replied, tilting her head and winking a little.

"And you?" Naruko said, pointing to Hinata.  
"Hinata Hyuuga... it's nice to meet you..." Hinata said, poking her fingers together nervously.  
"Oh, aren't you just the sweetest thing I've ever seen!" Naruko squealed, smiling a rather foxy smile. "No need to be so shy around me."  
"I'm... sorry..." Hinata said, bowing her head.

"AWWWW!!" Naruko squealed, trying hard to resist the urge to run over and hug Hinata. "You're so cute!" Hinata's face turned bright pink.  
"Naruko, don't embarrass her so much!" Naruto said, spearing a piece of broccoli on his fork.  
"I'm sorry, you're just so adorable!" Naruko replied. "Sorry!"  
"It's... okay..." Hinata said, managing a smile.

Meanwhile, Kin was inspecting Obito's face with quite a lot of curiousity. "Is it just me, or do you look like someone I know?" she asked him.  
"Umm... I don't know, maybe?" he replied.  
At that moment, Itachi and Kisame came walking by, and Obito couldn't resist.

"Itachiiiii!" he called. "Oh darling little brother of mine that I love so very much, come over hereeee!"

"Oh my god..." Naruto snorted, as Itachi turned around and tried to find where the sound had come from. Kin and Kimimaro couldn't believe their ears.  
"Obito, is that you?" he said annoyedly.  
"Over here, Itachiii!" Obito called. "I'm visiting today, how about that?"  
Itachi walked over with Kisame, who began talking to Kimimaro about something going on with Greenpeace.  
"Why the hell would you be visiting?" Itachi said, glaring in his general direction.  
"I'm visiting Scarecrow, of course," Obito replied. "'tachi, aren't you happy to see me?"  
"Hardly," Itachi replied tersely. "Kisame?"  
"Yup?" Kisame said cheerily, interrupting himself to reply.  
"Find where Deidara and Sasori are," he commanded.  
"Yup!" Kisame replied. "Nice meeting you guys, it's been great!" he said.

"Bye, Kisame!" Naruto called.  
"Whatever you do, don't embarrass me," Itachi told Obito, before walking off with Kisame, who had found where the two stoners hung out. "I have a reputation to uphold, unlike you."

"Oh, I'd never DREAM of doing that," Obito replied, once he was far enough away. Kin, by the point, was in a fit of giggles.  
"Oh... my... god...!" she laughed. "It's the lost Uchiha brother!"  
"Pretty much!" Obito said cheerily. Kin began to laugh again.  
"What do you mean by 'lost'?" Kimimaro asked thoughtfully.

"Ah, well, when I went to Konoha High here, I wasn't really the best student," he replied. "I wanted to go out and do stuff for myself instead of just reading about it in a classroom. Obviously, my parents didn't like that. So, when I graduated, I took a small bit of my college funds and went to Europe, and gave the rest to Itachi."  
"That's awfully generous of you," Kimimaro said.  
"Meh, you know what? Underneath that icy exterior," Obito said, "he's really just a big nerd!"  
Kin lapsed into another fit of giggles, while Hinata poked at her salad and was attacked by a massive storm of cute-alert-rays coming out of Naruko's eyes.

"Man, you're so cool," Naruto told Obito. "I take it back; I'd like to be related to you!"  
"I'm quite honored," Obito laughed.  
"Naruto, marry Hinata for me, will you please??" Naruko whined. "She's so cute, I want her as my little sister!!"

"EH?!" Hinata squeaked. Kimimaro began to laugh now, and Kin was on the point of falling out of her chair from the hilarity.  
"Naruko, what kinds of junk are you spewing this time?!" Naruto replied, a bit shocked. Kin was laughing so hard by this point, she had her head on the table.

"Pardon me, madam, but if you're talking about marriage... I'm always available," said Jiraiya, passing by with his mop, and tipping his cap in her direction.

"Partez, vous pervertissez!" Naruko replied, sticking her tongue out at the old man. Jiraiya laughed a good hearty laugh and walked away; it was only a joke... or was it?

"What the hell's so funny, you weirdo?" Ino said, passing by with her empty lunch tray and posse. Instantly, Naruko smelt fresh meat; the hair, the clothes, the voice... it all screamed "preppy cheerleader," and she was in a very playful mood, indeed.

"What if it's none of your business?" Naruko replied. Instantly, Ino smelt a professional; the hair, the clothes, the voice... she had found her new idol.

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to say it that way!" she said, changing her mood instantly from bitch to angel.  
"Uh-huh," Naruko said, skeptically.

"Darling, I LOVE your hair!" Sakon squealed, unable to contain himself. "Where do you get it done?!"  
"Oh, this?" Naruko said, rather flattered, and fingering a golden lock. "I cut it myself."  
"You're JOKING!" Sakon said, placing a hand on his cheek. "It looks GORGEOUS, what's your secret?"

"Umm... nothing, I just wash it every day and cut it when it needs to be cut," she replied simply.  
"Ohhhh mah god, you're sooooo lucky to have hair like that..." Sakura said, a hint of envy in her voice. "Mine has to be treated, like, EVERY day for it to even begin to look decent and stuff, you know?"  
"Uh-huh," Naruko said again, such talk being rather boring to her.  
"Ohhhmigod, who are you?" Ino finally asked, finding her chance to talk. "I simply have to know who you are, and how in the world did you get to our school? Are you like... a talent agent or something?"  
"Naruko Uzumaki, actually, and I'm an aspiring fashion designer," Naruko said. "I'm guessing that from the way you walked up here, you know my little brother, or at least his fine friends here?"  
"Him? Someone like you is related to that little dweeb?" Sakura snorted.

Kin took a break from her laughter, which everyone managed to talk over, and began to cough, but snuck in something that resembled "Ino and Deidara." Ino managed to sneak her a glare as she began to talk again.

"Oooooohmigod! You're a fashion designer?? Mind giving me some tips? I'd LOVE to talk to you more!" she gushed.

"Yeah, listen, I don't really tolerate the whole 'bitchy cheerleader' thing, so you'd better watch yourself, especially around my little brother," Naruko replied rather tartly. "If you wanna talk fashion, like _serious_ fashion, here's my email address; but drag so much as a little bit of attitude, and I won't talk to you at all."

She handed Ino a slip of paper, and her eyes sparkled. "You really mean it?!" she said.

Naruko shrugged. "Yeah, whatever," she replied.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Ino squealed, and rushed off, Sakon not far behind. Sakura stayed a little bit longer.  
"Umm, yeah, I just wanted to know... who are you?" she asked, pointing to Obito. "You're not her-"  
"Boyfriend? Yes, I am," he said casually. "Who might you be?"  
"Umm... I'm Sakura Haruno... and I thought you just looked like-"  
"My little brother Sasuke? Yes, that's why I kinda look like him. No, I won't set you two up for a date. No, you go run along, and um, I'd reccomend finding some independence from that clique soon, mmkay? Those types of people are _really_ bad for the reputation," he said, stuffing some mac n' cheese into his mouth, and leaning his chair back. Sakura, all her answers completely answered, with some extra advice to boot, went off with a small squeal in Ino's direction.  
"So I guess Sasuke's pretty popular with the ladies, eh?" he said, a bit of cheese sauce filming over on his lips.

"Your razor-sharp skills are at it again, Obito-apple-pie," Naruko said, hugging her boyfriend around as she called him by her favorite nickname.

"Dude, you're smooth!" Naruto said, admirably.  
"Indeed," Kimimaro noted.

Hinata poked at her salad some more and said not a word.

"I think I just busted my gut," Kin gasped, a few more giggles letting loose from her lips.

Next

- Death of a Hero


	16. Death of a Hero

Konoha High  
Chapter 16  
- Death of a Hero -

The morning of May 1st dawned remarkably cold and a bit foggy. Naruto sat up, rubbing his eyes in his bed; he chewed on the dream he had just awakened from, where Kin had cut Sakura's hair with a bread knife, and Sasuke was farting purple clouds, or something insanely weird like that. It had become a bit of a nightmare afterward, with a crazy man who looked like Michael Jackson who peeled off his skin, and Principal Sandaime was fighting him with Kin's mom and King Kong, of all things.

He yawned and took his shower, and got dressed and ready for the day.

He entered the kitchen, to see his father sitting dejectedly with a coffee mug at the island, unshaven; Naruko was nowhere to be found. Instantly, he felt something was up.

"Hey dad, what's the matter?" he asked.

"I... just got some really bad news, Naruto," he replied, and looked in his direction with a half-smile. "I don't think school's been cancelled, though..."

"Dad, what happened?" Naruto asked. Yondaime took a deep breath, then exhaled.

"Sarutobi... I mean, Principal Sandaime... died of a heart attack last night, son," he replied.

Naruto was shocked. "Principal Sandaime? No!" he said.

"Yeah, I just heard about it; Kakashi called told me just about a half-hour ago," he replied. "It was really unexpected."

Naruto just stood there, unable to say a thing; Principal Sandaime, the kindly old man that was everyone's friend at the school, was gone. The principal that had food fights with his students, that allowed in-school sleepovers in monstrous blizzards, that participated in rap battles during Homecoming...it seemed nearly impossible.

He meditated for a brief moment, then collected himself and spoke. "...so school's still going on?" he said, the only logical thing to say.

"...dunno..." Yondaime replied. The phone rang, and he answered it. It seemed to be an automated message, for he was silent for a long while, then hung up.

"No school today, Naruto. Go ahead and play on your computer, if you'd like; I'm going to call Kyuubi," he said, sounding drained; both he and his wife had known the old man quite personally, and was quite hesitant to believe he was gone.

Naruto dropped his backpack in the hall and went to his room; he grabbed his stuffed penguin from when he was a kid and hugged it tenaciously, letting a few tears slip.

He fell asleep again, dreaming that he was out with Jiraiya the janitor on an adventure, but it ended as he fell from a cliff and he woke up, feeling as miserable as before.

Naruko, who had been at Obito's recently, came back home and stayed there for a bit, to offer support. That day, it rained heavily, without stopping; a mist hazed over Konoha City, and an uncomfortable cold settled in the bones of anyone who lived there.

-///-

The next day, school was scheduled to begin again, and Naruto woke up from a dream he could not remember and emotionlessly got ready for the day. Yondaime drove him to the school and dropped him off; he went to his locker, got his things, and began to head to Mr. Hatake's room, when Tayuya grabbed him from behind.

"Naruto, you gotta come with me!" she said.

"Eh?! What's going on?" he said, as she pulled him by the wrist down the hallway.

"That faggot Orochi wants to take over the school!" she said urgently, her face contorting into a look of extreme disgust as they went along to the outside of the school, where a large crowd of students had gathered. Mr. Orochi was standing atop the steps, with a few teachers standing nearby, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"...it is with extreme sadness that I take this position; it is necessary, and I am willing to undergo it," Mr. Orochi said, speaking into a microphone. "As dictated in his will, as of today, I will take over the position as Principal of Konoha High."

The crowd of students mostly booed, and Naruto gasped.

"He wants to do WHAT?!" he said.

"Shh, listen! That bastard's saying more!" Tayuya told him.

"Now, of course, there shall be necessary changes; I shall enforce a stricter dress code next year, perhaps even a uniform," he said sublimely. "We'll switch from a 6-class day to a 4-class, to lower budget costs; so, only core classes will be allowed, with the exception of Choir, of course."

"What the heck? That's stupid!" Naruto protested, along with much of the crowd.

"Fuck no! What the hell will I do without band?" Tayuya said. "Come on, I'm gonna find Kimimaro."

She grabbed him again, and they swam through the crowd, quickly finding their group of friends in the center of the angry crowd.

"Can you believe what he's trying to do?" Kin said.

"I know, it's unbelieveable!" Tayuya said. Kimimaro said nothing, peacefully closing his eyes.

"And after what he did..." Kin said, clenching her fists.

"Did what?" Naruto said, but Kin did not reply.

"We need to do something, man!" Deidara said forcefully.

"Also, we'll disallow 'fast foods' from the cafeteria; there's too much obesity in this school, and it needs to be rid of," Mr. Orochi added.

"OY, THAT'S JUST UNFAIR!!!" Chouji yelled loudly.

"Okay, now THAT is just going a little too far," Sasori glowered.

"WE WON'T TAKE IT, DAMMIT!" Tayuya yelled loudly, but her protests were unheard over the flood of angry student voices.

And then, out of the crowd of anger, there came a simple sound; a ukelele, softly strumming, and barely audible, but there.

And a voice, singing with that ukelele, barely audible, but there.

"Don't worry... about a thing... cos every little thing... is gonna be all right..."

A few people stopped to listen; where was it coming from?

And then, it became clear.

It was Kimimaro, strumming alone on a ukelele he carried in his backpack, singing in his soft, adorable voice.

"I said don't worry... about a thing... cos every little thing... is gonna be all right..." he sang again, and by the time he reached the refrain, he was not alone.

"Rise up this morning... look to the rising sun..."

Naruto had begun to sing with him.

"Three little birds... were on my doorstep..."

Hinata joined them, her voice small, but pure.

"Singing sweet songs... a melody pure and true..."

Kin, Haku, and Zabuza joined in, their voices ringing softly in the crowd.

"This is my message to you-ooh-ooh..."

Tayuya started to sing, and began looking around for people to join in.

"Baby, don't worry... about a thing..."

The small group had attracted some onlookers, some of which started to sing along; Mr. Orochi went on at the microphone, oblivious of the mild protest.

"Cos every little thing... is gonna be all right..."  
The voices grew louder; one could hear them if they listened hard enough. Unlikely people joined in; Kisame, Sakon and Ukon (who showed up out of respect for his fallen role model), and Sai.

"I said, don't worry... about a thing..."

Even more voices, a few people grasped hands and began to sway.

"Cos every little thing... is gonna be all right..."

More people held hands and sang; Haku and Zabuza strongly grasped each other's hands and sang, and many other people followed suit. As the singing continued, Hinata meekly extended her hand to Naruto's, only to find he firmly held it and continued singing. To her amazement, she did not blush and shy away as she usually did, but confidently increased her volume and sang as loudly and as beautifully as she could.

By this point, most of the crowd had caught on, and were holding hands, swaying to the rhythmn of the song, a few members of the choir adding their own harmonies to the mix, with Kimimaro still serenely strumming his ukelele. There were no more cliques, no social boundaries, if only for just this moment. All the students held hands: preps, geeks, stoners, jocks, it didn't matter; even Kabuto, one of Mr. Orochi's favorite students, Sasuke, and Itachi joined in, singing softly and under their breaths. All it was was a movement started by a single person, and while no real words were spoken, their message of respect for their former leader and protest was clear.

Finally, Orochi noticed.

"What in the world are they doing?" he asked nobody, stopping his speech.

"I think, Orochi," Jiraiya said, standing next to him as the peaceful song went on, "that the students are protesting."

"Protesting? Protesting what?" Orochi said, observing the scene skeptically.

"I do believe you're an unwanted force in this school, Maru," Tsunade said smoothly, sneaking up on his other side and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Remarkable, these kids are. Sandaime was a sort of... hero to them, eh? And they come up with this, well, they're certainly creative."

Orochi didn't reply, glancing from side to side, only to see the students he hoped to reform peacefully revolting before his eyes.

"Sandaime didn't ask for you to be the new principal in his will, did he?" Jiraiya said skeptically. "Don't lie to me, what's up?"  
"It's what he wanted," Orochi stated plainly, his face an apathetic mask.

"I doubt that, my friend," said Jiraiya. "I do belive this is a matter the students should decide on; before forcing your ideas on 'em, lessee what they want."

"Hmph," Orochi said, and moved to the microphone again, practically screaming over their song. "You hear this? You think your little hippie-peace-protest may work, but I'm determined to make Konoha High a cleaner, safer place to learn, beginning when I become principal, and that is that!"

He stormed off in a huff, but the students did not do a thing; they continued to sing until Tsunade asked them nicely to leave later that afternoon, and they did, astonishingly without fuss.

Naruto reported the day's amazing events to his parents when he got home, and both Yondaime and Kyuubi grinned at the beautiful protest of injustice to the system; neither of them were fond of Orochi, whom they knew through conferences, word-of-mouth, and various other dealings.

Needless to say, when an announcement was made on the morning news that the Superintendant of the school district had declared Tsunade the rightful principal of Konoha High, there was celebration all around. Orochi, however, was furious, since he technically still had to teach choir and drama at the school he longed to lead.

He was absent at the funeral that was held for Sandaime that weekend, which almost every student, both past and present, had attended.

The man was out for revenge.

Next  
- Emo, Come Home


	17. Emo, Come Home!

Konoha High  
Chapter 17  
- Emo, Come Home -

From the time Naruto met Sasuke for the first time, to the first time both boys wished that the other would just stop showing up at school, there hadn't been much of a gap. The emo's behavior was easily hated by the optimistic boy and vice versa; in almost every way, they were complete opposites, not only in terms of personality, but also appearance. Sasuke's black hair and Naruto's blonde, Sasuke's dark brown eyes compared to Naruto's bright blue ones, even the contrasting sounds of pencil to notebook, or thumb to game controller. There was always a silent rivalry steaming between the two of them (three, if Gaara was included) whenever they gathered for science class. Both boys would think that the day that their lives would be better without them at the school to bother them.

However, when the day came that it actually happened, their reactions were quite opposite than expected.

It was only about a week after Sandaime's death; it seemed almost unnoticeable at first, until Naruto realized he couldn't hear the tinny sounds of Fall Out Boy through somebody's earbuds, or the crunchy scratch of ballpoint pen on notebook from the back of the room. The lesson went on, but Naruto felt that something was decidedly missing, and consulted Gaara on it after Mr. Hatake gave them some free time.

"Hey, Gaara, you know where Sasuke is?" he asked.

"Mister Emo? Hell if I know," Gaara replied, glancing to the back of the class, where Sasuke usually sat. "Maybe he's sick?"

"If he was sick, he'd be playing it up a ton, I think," Naruto said. "As much as he hates school, I don't think he ever skipped, did he?"

Gaara shrugged. "Why're you so worried about him?"

Naruto glared at him, his eyebrows knit tightly. "I dunno! I'm just...dah, nevermind!" he replied, flustered, and returning to his seat. Gaara watched him walk off in mild interest, but understanding a little bit; even though they hated each other, Sasuke and Naruto challenged each other like yin and yang, in a way that was almost like friendship. Scowling, he realized he had quite a similar relationship not only with his siblings, but also with Lee.

Throughout the day, Naruto didn't see any of Sasuke around, and entered the cafeteria much later in the day to find Kin looking rather dejectedly into her soup, her headphones on, and Tayuya's glowering face looking like something out of a medieval painting of a demon. Kimimaro wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked, tapping Kin on the shoulder. She took off her headphones.

"What?" she asked. Naruto repeated himself.

"Oh... nothing, really, I'm just kinda... out of it..." she replied, picking up her spoon and batting it against her chin.

"What about you, Tayuya?" he asked.

"You wanna keep your balls?" Tayuya hissed. Naruto nodded slowly, a frozen expression of fear on his face. "Then leave me the fuck alone," she stated brutally, and Naruto nodded again, wishing Kimimaro were there to possibly explain things.

As he finished his milk and talked to Hinata rather unenthusiastically about the new Nintendo console, Kimimaro entered, looking quite drained.

"What's with you?" Naruto asked. Kimimaro took a deep breath in and out, and closed his eyes.

"Some things caught up with me, I needed to meditate a bit outside," he replied placidly. "Kin, Tayuya, are you all right too?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Tayuya said sourly.

"What happened?" Naruto asked.

"It's a personal matter, stay the fuck out of it," Tayuya said again, glaring in Naruto's direction. "Can you take a hint?"

"Eh, I'm sorry, I-" Naruto began.

"It's all right, it's just a little personal to all of us," Kimimaro replied. "Something's eating you too, I see?"

"Eh? Oh, umm..." Naruto replied. "Sasuke wasn't in class and it just seemed kinda... weird, you know?"

"Emo-kid didn't show today?" Kin said, joining the conversation. "Why?"

"I dunno," Naruto replied. "It's really kinda... weird without him whining all the time."

"Do you think...?" Kin asked Kimimaro. He shrugged.

"I don't know, we don't talk," Kimimaro replied.

"What are you guys talking about?" Naruto asked. Before he could get an answer, Kisame entered, looking a bit worried.

"Any of you guys seen Itachi's brother?" he asked.

"Sasuke?" said Naruto.

"Yeah, he ran away last night or something," Kisame replied. "You guys have any idea where he is? Did he show up for school today?"

"Nope, what happened, do you know?" Kin asked.

"I have no idea," Kisame replied. "Itachi just called me and said he wasn't showing up cos he was gonna go look for him or somethin'."

"Oh god," Kin said softly. "Do you think..."

"Do you think what?" Naruto echoed. "That's the second time you've said that..."

"Shut up, you!" Tayuya said, although subduing herself a little. Naruto did so, although a little suspiciously. "Listen, Kisa, where's Itachi looking around?"

"I dunno; I asked Dei and Saso if they knew, but they don't," Kisame replied. "I think Itachi's looking for places he might have gone."

"Itachi, worried about his brother? They seemed kind of impersonal to me," Naruto said.

"Doesn't he have any friends you could ask about where he likes to hang out?" Tayuya said, ignoring Naruto's previous statement.

"I dunno," Kisame replied.

"I don't think... Sasuke has... any friends..." Hinata said softly.

"I think... you're right," Naruto said, a suprising sadness in his voice.

"That's just sad," Tayuya said. "With all those poser-girls fawning over him, he doesn't have a single friend? Fucking pathetic."

The group sat in silence at this revelation, before Kisame spoke.

"Well, if you hear anything, you know, just tell me, okay?" Kisame said. "It's got Itachi kinda worried, I could tell over the phone."

"Of course, Kisame," Kimimaro replied. Kisame left with a slight wave.

"Man, that's just sad," Naruto said after a while. "I mean, not a single friend? That's almost impossible, but... it kinda seems that way."

The thought made him feel sick, and he closed his milk carton.

"I'll see you guys later," he said, leaving abruptly and stomping down the hallway.

"Damn... I think he's actually worried about emo-boy," Tayuya said. "I thought they hated each other."

"I think... to Naruto, he's almost... like a friend, from what I see..." Hinata said, watching him leave.

"How could that be friendship?" Kin asked. Kimimaro just smiled in understanding, but there was a sort of worriedness in his eyes.

-///-

Naruto sat in front of his locker, fuming. He didn't want to admit he was worried about Sasuke, but the worriedness everyone else felt seemed to be affecting him, and he was hating himself for it. He heard something mechanical whirr by, but it stopped in front of him.

"Somethin' on your mind, kid?"

Jiraiya, the friendly janitor, stood above him with a kindly smile on his face.

"Nothin, really," Naruto replied.

"Ah, izzat so?" he replied. "Awfully early for you not to be finished with lunch."

"I'm not so hungry," Naruto replied.

Jiriaya thoughtfully leaned against the lockers.

"I heard that Sasuke Uchiha ran away from home, it's hot gossip among people, from what I'm hearing as I go down the halls," he said. "You know anything about it?"

Naruto shrugged. "Not much."

"Is his brother looking for him?" Jiraiya asked.

"'think so," Naruto replied.

"Huh, looking, but he doesn't know where to start, eh?" Jiraiya said.

"How would you know?" Naruto asked.

"Well, I have a hunch as to where Sasuke would run," he replied.

"Really, where?" said Naruto.

"There's a spot behind the school, I can take you there; it's where a lot of them ran," he replied.

"Ran from what?" Naruto said confusedly.

"It's happened to at least... 8 other students at this school, and I want to put a stop to it," Jiraiya replied, not really answering.

"Put a stop to what?" Naruto said, really confused at this point.

"Come with me, and I'll explain," Jiraiya replied.

Naruto looked at him. "Is that like... against school rules?" he said.

"Don't worry, Tsunade suggested I go find you for this," he replied with a slight grin.

"What?" Naruto said, even more confused. "Principal Godaime, you mean?"

"Yeah, her," Jiraiya said. "Come on, we need to get going soon."

Naruto knit his eyebrows again, but got up and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "Sure, let's go," he replied.

Jiraiya led him outside the school and started walking around to where the dumpsters were, but spoke not a word.

"Hey, what were you going to explain to me?" Naruto asked.

"In a minute, we're almost there," Jiraiya replied. "Over here's where it should be."

They came to a small alley-like structure where the school bent in, and several of the dumpsters were located. Behind one of the dumpsters was snivelling somebody that Naruto recognized almost immediately.

"Hey, that's Sasuke!" he said, his voiced hushed. "Right?"

"Go and see, I'm going to call someone, okay?" Jiraiya said. "I checked in on him earlier and he doesn't seem so good, so I got Tsunade and..." He trailed off and produced a cell phone from out of his pocket. "Talk to him or something, make sure he doesn't leave," he said.

Confused, but willing to help, Naruto approached the boy that was huddled against the wall behind the dumpster.

"Hey, what's up with you?" he said softly, peeking around the dumpster.

Sasuke looked at him horrifiedly, his hair in his eyes, without a trace of makeup on his face.

"Wh-what are you doing here, get out!" he said angrily.

"Hey, dude, just chill!" Naruto said. "I'm not gonna leave, what happened to you, dude?"

Sasuke did not reply, instead glaring right at him. "It's none of your business, I-I'm fine," he said sulkily.

"Right, right," Naruto said sarcastically. "You're brother's, uh, worried about you, I think."

"Itachi... doesn't care about me," Sasuke said sourly.

Naruto didn't reply to that, but said something soon after. "Well, everyone in the school's wondering why you ran away and stuff; what gives?" he asked candidly.

"Why the hell do you want to know? You hate my guts," Sasuke replied. "Why are you so fucking concerned about me, huh? Are you trying to get some sort of laugh out of this?"

"No, dude!" Naruto replied strongly. "I'm not doing this, everyone's like... worried about you!"

"Right, that's just cruel," Sasuke replied. "Nobody cares about me..."

"That's not true, you got two brothers and parents, at least," Naruto said. "They care about you, dude."

Sasuke was silent for a while.

"Dude, so what happened to you?" he asked.

"Shut up, like I'm gonna tell you," Sasuke replied.

"No need to tell, I already know," Jiraiya said, joining them. "You're afraid, right? He said he'd do something to you if you said, right?"

"Who said that?" Naruto said, a bit disturbed. Sasuke cringed and clutched his knees.

"Get the hell away from me..." Sasuke said. "Get away!"

"Dude, what happened?" Naruto said.

"Something that's gonna be resolved tonight," Jiraiya said, a bit of triumph sounding in his voice. "Sasuke, you can go home in a few minutes, nothing else is gonna happen. Come on, up you get."

He offered a large, rough hand, but Sasuke rejected it.

"Just leave me alone to die..." he replied. "I don't wanna be helped, my life sucks and I don't deserve it."

"Hey, that's not true!" Naruto protested. "Come on, you're getting up whether you like it or not!"

Despite the fact he had no idea what really was going on, Naruto reached down and slung Sasuke's arm over his shoulder.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" Sasuke said in protest.

"Well, you had to get up," Naruto said. "Jiraiya, where to?"

"I called his parents, they should be here soon," Jiraiya said. "Sasuke, you gotta sit tight with us and we'll go to the parking lot."

"Why the hell did you call my parents?" Sasuke said angrily, but not freeing himself from Naruto's shoulder. "They don't even care, so why would they even want to know?"

"Naruto said it best; they're your parents, and they care about you, whether you like it or not, Sasuke," Jiraiya said, beginning to walk. "Besides, your father's a lot more involved in this than you think."

Sasuke grumbled, but kept walking with Naruto down the sidewalk, until they came to the parking lot. Sasuke's parents came driving up in a car with Itachi in the back seat, and graciously accepted him.

"Thank you so much, Jiraiya," his mother said graciously, as Sasuke entered the SUV. "We really don't know what we'd do without your help."

"Naruto helped too," Jiraiya said, pointing to the boy in question, who was bent over with his hands on his knees from the strain.

"THE Naruto?" Mrs. Uchiha said in suprise. "The one in Sasuke's journal?"

"What the? Well, I know I was in his journal from what Kisame told me-" Naruto began.

"Thank you for being such a good friend," she smiled. "I think you're just the person he needed help from."

"What the-?" Naruto said, rather shocked. He looked at Sasuke, who had his eyes towards the floor. He thought of Naruto as a friend? How in the world was that possible?

"So the sting's gonna be tonight, eh?" Mr. Uchiha said, seemingly not noticing the prior conversation.

"Yes, Fang's all ready and the evidence is in place," Jiraiya said.

"What sting?" Naruto said. "Who's Fang?"

"Just watch the news tonight, you'll see," Jiraiya said with a grin. "You get better there, okay Sasuke? Hope to see you in school tomorrow."

Sasuke glanced at them out the window, and slightly nodded.

"Thanks again for you help," Mrs. Uchiha said.

"No problem," Jiraiya said. The SUV sped off, and as it went along, Naruto was certain he saw Sasuke fall over as Itachi gave him what appeared to be... a hug?

"So what in the world was that about?" Naruto said.

"Like I said, just watch the news tonight," Jiraiya said. "All your questions'll be answered. Now, if I'm not mistaken, you have to get going to your Art class, don't you?"

Confused, Naruto nodded. "Y'think Sasuke's coming back tomorrow?" he asked.

"I think he will," Jiraiya said with a smile.

"Alrighty then," Naruto said. "Glad that was settled. See you later!"

He ran off feeling remarkably light, as if a weight had been taken off his chest.

-///-

When he arrived home, he played some Kingdom Hearts 2 and informed his dad to put on the evening news during dinner.

Immediately, things were made clear.

It turned out that Mr. Orochi was a long-time pedophile that sexually abused students at the school, the list of his teenage victims dating back more than 20 years. From his behavior earlier that day, Naruto realized that Sasuke must have been harassed and ran away as a consequence. What he didn't know was that Orochi had taken out his rage on Sasuke as well, since he was so dissatisfied with his plan to become principal, and Sasuke understandably ran away, since he felt he couldn't say anything to defend himself. Orochi was arrested and taken into custody that evening, thanks to evidence from an inside source and a police sting. Since Mr. Uchiha was head of the police, it made sense that he would ask Jiraiya about a "sting", so was he the inside source? He, Naruko and his father cheered at the table at the news, and when he was driven to school the next day, he was overjoyed to find Sasuke had returned to class. While heading to lunch, the strange behavior of his friends surfaced in his mind; could it be that they were harrassed and never told? Luckily, he never had to ask, for Tayuya was jubilantly proclaiming that the "fucking bastard that fucked up my life" was rotting in jail, and thinking about what she was going to do with the reparation money that was going to come her way after the trial. Naruto was all smiles, and then heard a small voice behind him.

"Hey, um... if it's not much trouble, is it okay if I sit with you guys today?"

It was Sasuke, an embarrassed smile on his face, and a lunch tray in his hands. Immediately, everyone went quiet, not quite knowing what to say. Everyone, that is, except Naruto, who grinned.

"Sure, we got an extra spot here, eh?" he said. "You can sit here next to me."

Sasuke smiled faintly and sat next to Naruto, and the uncomfortable silence stayed for a moment longer, before the resident peacemaker, Kimimaro, spoke up.

"So, what have you been up to lately, Sasuke?"

Sasuke was more than happy to reply, and they soon got used to him being there. In truth, Sasuke was a much nicer person than they all thought; he was actually very shy, and the only way he thought of making up for his social awkwardness was through the emo culture that rampaged in when he was in middle school, and put up a sarcastic and cold facade.

He and Naruto talked about the PS3, he discussed kung-fu movies with Haku, and even professed to Kin and Tayuya that he loved Bjork and the Sex Pistols with a passion.

By the end of lunch, one could walk by them talking together and swear that he had been friends with all of them for years.

Lunch ended, and they began to leave.

"Sasuke, dude, you seriously fucking need to sit with us more often," Tayuya said.

"Sure, I guess," Sasuke said sheepishly.

"I'll see you around!" Kin called. Sasuke waved back and began to walk down the hall to his next class.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Mm?" Sasuke replied.

"You wanna have a sleepover or something this weekend?"

For the first time in his memory, Sasuke smiled and laughed.

"Sure, that sounds like a great idea."

Next  
- The Real Slim Shady Has Stood Up


	18. The Real Slim Shady Has Stood Up

Konoha High  
Chapter 18  
- The Real Slim Shady Has Stood Up -

On a warm Spring night sometime in the middle of May, the Konoha High School auditorium was buzzing with students. A talent show had been organized a few months earlier by a very enthusiastic student council (with a little urging from the drama department), and after several auditions and a few rehearsals, it was finally the much-anticipated night. A massive crowd of people, not just students and parents, had shown up, and ticket sales were booming.

Naruto sat backstage, dressed in his usual cargo pants and a tee shirt, leaning against a wall and humming a song.

"Hey, nervous at all?"

Sasuke approached him with a slight smile on his face.

"Sasuke! How'd you get back here?" Naruto asked.

"Kin let me pass through to wish you some luck," he replied cheerily. Kin, who, along with Sakon, was in charge of all the goings-on backstage, rushing to and fro, dressed entirely in black with a headset on, coordinating the lights and sounds with Deidara, Dosu and Zaku, who were in charge of such things, respectively.

"Ahh, I should thank her or something," Naruto said, standing up and scratching the back of his head.

"I should have tried out when the auditions were going on..." Sasuke said quietly. "This looks like so much fun, I could have played my guitar or something."

"Well, there's always next year!" Naruto said enthusiastically, slapping Sasuke on the back. The two of them laughed.

"Speaking of acts, I can't wait to see what you're doing," Sasuke said. "C'mon, tell me?"

"No, it's a secret! I'm the final act!" Naruto said, crossing his arms and scowling in mock anger. "You'll just have to wait!"

Sasuke laughed. "Okay, okay, so I'll wait," he said.

"Yo, dawg, youz gonna rock da house tonight," Zabuza said, passing by with Haku; the two of them were dressed in loose, traditional clothing for a demonstration of some sort. "That act of yoz is TIGHT!"

"Thanks, Zabuza, I'll try!" Naruto replied with a laugh.

"Yoda from Star Wars said it best: 'Do, or do not; there is no try.'," Haku added with a smile. "I know you will do well."

Naruto smiled. "Yeah, I guess that's right."

"Well, I'm off; gotta go get my seat back again," Sasuke said.

"Where'll you be?" Naruto asked.

"Front row!" he replied cheerily. "Itachi's eyesight is kinda bad, I just found out, and he doesn't have any glasses yet, so he's gonna be up front so he can see everything."

"All right, I'll look for you then!" Naruto said happily.

"As will we!" added Haku. "Enjoy!"

Sasuke waved and walked through the door, while Haku and Zabuza went in another direction to talk with Kidoumaru, the emcee.

At that moment, Hinata quickly scurried by, and Naruto was floored.

"Woah, woah, Hinata, hold on!" he called. She stopped immediately and turned around shyly; her hair had been pulled out of her eyes, her bangs held back with clips, and into a small bun; for the first time in his memory, her eyes weren't obscured.

"Wow, Hinata, you look really nice!" he said. "I mean, _really_ nice!"

"Re-re-re-really...?" she asked, her face turning bright red. Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Absolutely," he replied with a grin. "I can't wait to hear you play tonight, you sounded so nice at the rehearsals."

Hinata smiled, poking her fingers together. "Thank... thank you very much..." she said. "You don't think this outift is too... too much?"

Naruto looked over the fairly plain white lace blouse she wore over black pants and shook his head. "Not at all, it's fine," he replied.

Hinata beamed. "Oh, I was so worried about that, you know..." she said, poking her fingers together a bit more and looking at the floor, but was stopped as Naruto put his fingers under her chin and turned her head to face his.

"Don't worry," he said, with suprising gentleness in his voice. "You look fine."

Hinata could have practically melted into a puddle of steaming infatuation at that point. Would he kiss her?

"Well, good luck tonight!" he said, removing his hand and grinning. She nodded.  
"Yeah... thanks, good luck to you too..." she said, the smallest ounce of disappointment in the back of her mind, while the rest of it was rejoicing in the small declaration of love (at least in her mind) he had given her.

"Hinata, are you ready?" Neji asked her, passing by with his violin case.

"Yes, let me... get my things..." she said, and continued on to the orchestra room, her original destination.

-///-

The show began, literally, with a bang.

Kisame and his band, Red Moon (which consisted of himself on lead guitar, Sasori on bass and vocals, and Zetsu on drums) began with a powerful rendition of Nirvana's classic hit, "Smells Like Teen Spirit." The crowd went wild when Kisame ripped on the first few instantly-recognizable power chords. Zetsu, who was known (or rather, unknown) as a fairly shy, meek person, showed suprising prowess with his drum kit, banging on it aggressively. Naruto, who watched from the monitors backstage, was surprised at Sasori's voice, for he had never heard him sing, and he was quite talented. When the song finished, the audience roared in applause and the band disappeared behind a curtain, and Kidoumaru took the stage.

"Yo yo yo, howzit goinnnnng?" he said, and the audience applauded. "Look at this, here! We got so much talent at Konoha, right, right?"  
More applause. "Awright, so that was Red Moon, how'd they do?" The audience cheered and whistled some more, a few people shouting "GOOOOD!" or "YEAAAAH!" and even "KIDOUMARU, I LOVE YOUUU!"

"Hey, ladies, let's restrain ourselves, a'ight?" he said, causing some laughter. "Well, our next act has got one awesome dog. Literally! We got Kiba Inuzuka and his dog, Akamaru with some mad skating trickz, yo!"

Kidoumaru exited the stage, and there was silence for a while. Then, upbeat skater music began to play, and Kiba came zipping across the stage on his skateboard, his dog yipping and bounding behind him. Kiba performed a few tricks on his skateboard, while Akamaru sat patiently and barked as the audience applauded. Then, he began doing a series of jumps and tricks with the dog, and ended the performance by skating off with Akamaru on his skateboard, and there was applause.

"How coo' was dat?" Kidoumaru said, going onstage once more. "A'ight, our next act is from our very own foreign exchange student, and mah favorite homeboy; let's give it up for Haku Bai and Zabuza Momochi!"

There were many more cheers for this number, as Haku and Zabuza, in their loose Chinese clothing, took the stage; Zabuza sat down behind the large grand piano that was supplied on the stage, while Haku sat in a chair with a strange, thin instrument with a string attached to knobs at the end.

"I didn't know Zabuza played piano," Sasori remarked, as he had joined Naruto in watching the show via the monitors. Haku began to play a delicate piece that seemed vaguely familiar on the instrument ("It's called an erhu," Haku later told him, after the show. "Like a Chinese violin, only with two string."), while Zabuza began a gentle accompaniment that flowed with the piece perfectly. Everyone watching sighed and some closed their eyes, the complementary sounds flowing together in perfect unison.

And then, they threw a curveball. Loud, hip-hoppish music began to play, and a few people that had closed their eyes in pleasure opened them in shock. Haku placed the erhu on the chair and Zabuza stood up from the piano, and at a cue in the music, they ripped open their shirts (which conveniently were fastened loosely in the front, so nothing was damaged) to reveal complementary outfits closer to what Zabuza wore every day; both of them produced baseball caps from somewhere and placed them at alternating degrees on their heads, and took the microphones that were meant for their instruments and held them to their mouths.

"KONOHA REPREZENNNNT!" Zabuza called, and the audience went nuts.

"A hip to the hop to the neva-eva stop, we're rockin' and a hoppin', no we ain't neva gonna flop!" Haku rapped, his high, feminine voice and accent causing several surprised laughs and cheers among the audience. The music stopped and Zabuza took over.

"Yo, we got some mad beatz to show y'all, you coo' wit dat?" he said, and the audience cheered. "Awright, awright. Hit it, boo."

Haku nodded and put his microphone on the chair as Zabuza began to beatbox, and proceeded to perform some of the most impressive pop-and-locks anyone had ever seen, causing several people to cheer him on, including the performers backstage. Music began to play about half-way through, which prompted Zabuza to put away the microphone and join Haku in the dance, which ended with several astounding leaps and kicks on Haku's behalf, that seemed to incorporate some sort of martial arts. After it was over, the audience exploded with applause, and Kidoumaru took the stage once more.

"That was AMAZING, Haku! I had no idea you could do that!" Naruto said, hugging Haku firmly around the shoulders as they came backstage.

"We've been practicing very hard," Haku replied, blushing a little. "Thank you very much, mind my erhu, don't crush it!"

"Your what?" Naruto said, and Haku explained as Chouji got on stage with Shikamaru.

"I will be performing an aria from Handel's Apollo and Daphne," he announced, and proceeded to sing an impressive piece of music with a surprisingly mature voice (with Shikamaru visibly yawning as he played along with the difficult accompaniment). There was some silence as

Chouji left the stage with a simple bow, and then thunderous applause.

"I had no idea he could do that..." Naruto noted, as Kidoumaru got on stage once again and introduced Ten Ten, who performed a series of difficult-looking contortions, flips and jumps on stage, which was quite popular among the audience (notably the male members).

"That was way awesome, right there," Kidoumaru said. "Coming up next, we have Rock Lee, singing a song."

There was a polite amount of applause (although Mr. Might, who was in the audience, went absolutely ballistic and started cheering like a maniac) as Lee came onstage, in a tight, green t-shirt and black pants.

"This is a song dedicated to someone very special to me, and I hope she feels the same way too," he said into the microphone, grinning.

"Sakura Haruno, this song is for you!"

Naruto happened to see Sakura stop to watch this, her face growing bright red as Lee began to sing Whitney Houston's immortal hit: "I Will Always Love You," in perfect pitch.

"Oh my god, I can't believe he's doing this..." she said, covering her face with her hands, although Naruto noticed she had a smile on her lips as she did this.

Unknown to the rest of the performers, as soon as he exited the stage to respectable applause and cheers, she led him to the band room and there, they shared their first kiss, before she ran onstage to perform her dance routine with Ino; afterwards, Lee drunkenly wobbled to the monitors and declared to Gaara that he was a man. Gaara, of course, didn't care.

Deidara, in a rare act of kindness, made the routine look absolutely gorgeous through various lighting effects that were available, as the two girls danced around to the bubblegum pop of Britney Spears. After they left, Kidoumaru introduced the next act, and the audience was treated to Gaara, performing a mildly disturbing magic show with his brother and sister as assistants, such as manipulating Kankurou like a sort of human puppet, or levitating Temari in the air. The whole spectacle ended with the three siblings seemingly disappearing in a pile of sand, and there was silence in the audience for a good long while, before everyone applauded at the amazing effects.

"How'd you do that?" Naruto asked him, after he reappeared backstage, with Temari and Kankurou excitedly discussing how well it had gone.

"A magician never reveals their secrets..." Gaara said, glaring at him, and Naruto slowly backed away.

"Now, we have a special treat for y'all," Kidoumaru said, once again introducing an act. "Please welcome Hinata and Neji Hyuuga on the cello and violin."

The two cousins entered, and Hinata took a seat, the enormous cello dwarfing her small frame as she sat down, with Neji standing at the microphone and holding his violin.

"We will be performing selections from Vivaldi's The Four Seasons: Presto, from Summer, and Allegro con Molto, from Winter," he said stoically, and after taking his place, they promptly began to play. The duo was amazing, performing the fast-paced, familar pieces flawlessly, both of them occasionally taking glances at Hinata's father, who was sitting near the front, with a slightly displeased look on his face (although he always looked like that). As they finished, they both stood and took a bow, but while Neji quickly walked off stage,

Hinata meekly walked up to the microphone. There was silence as she looked out at the audience, positively terrified.

"Come on... go Hinata...!" Naruto said softly, watching her on the screen. After a deep breath, she spoke.

"I am now going to perform the Prelude from Bach's Suite Number One, in G major," she said, her voice clear and free of stutters. She sat down and began to play the short, beautiful, completely unplanned piece, and everyone (including Neji, who turned around confusedly when Hinata stayed behind) stared at her in rapture. As she finished the piece, she stood up and bowed, and everybody cheered. With a small squeal, she carried her cello offstage and was about to leave, when Neji stopped her.

"You did well, I'm proud of you," he said in Japanese, a ghost of a smile on his face. She smiled.

"Thank you, Neji," she replied, in English, a wide smile on her face. As she put her cello away in the orchestra room, Naruto gave her a huge hug.

"YOU DID SO GOOD!" he squealed. "Oh my god, Hinata, that was so cool!"

"You really think so?" she said. He nodded.

"Yeah! Hey, you didn't stutter!" he said.

"Oh, I guess... I guess I didn't!" she giggled, putting a hand at her mouth, somewhat contradicting the previous statement.

"Well, that was real unexpected, eh, people?" Kidoumaru, taking the stage again. "Our next performer, for your pleasure, please welcome Ukon Seimon, the juggle king!"

"Ukon? Ukon's up next?" Naruto said, a little unbelieving. "I haven't even seen him at a rehearsal, I thought he was just drumming!"

"Neither have I," Hinata added. "He's juggling?"

"Let's go look on the monitors," said Naruto, and together, they did so.

Ukon took the stage and stood there, when he produced a small white ball out of nowhere. Then another. He began to juggle with those two small balls, tossing them back and forth and in a circle. A third ball appeared, then a fouth, then a fifth. Ukon began to walk around, tossing the balls between his legs and arms and high into the air. More balls appeared, and his normal, sleepy smile had turned into an energized grin; he was totally in his element. The act ended as he had all his balls in a ring that circled around the air in a wide arc, then caught them and made them disappear behind his back. He took a bow, and the audience exploded with cheers. As he walked backstage, he collapsed right as Sakon came by, and was caught.

"Man... am I... tired..." he sighed, breathing heavily.

"That was so amazing, though! Good job, you!" Sakon said. The two brothers smiled and laughed, while Shikamaru came onto the stage again, and casually approached to the microphone.

"Yeah, um, I'm gonna play this song called 'I sing to pass the time' or something like that..." he said, completely uninterested in his performance. "It's by some guy named Giovanni, so... yeah, whatever."

He walked to the piano, leaving several people both backstage and in the audience confused, until he began to play a gorgeous piece that erupted into a frenzy of notes near the end. After he was finished, he got up, and disgustedly sighed.

"What a stupid piece, how troublesome..." he said, and walked off. A few people clapped, although most people were too shocked by his behavior and his accompanying performance to even do anything.

"Well, that was... interesting," Kidoumaru said, coming onstage. "Well, folks, we got another band! Please welcome our very own Sound Trio!"

The curtain behind him rose again to reveal Tayuya, Kimimaro and Ukon (who had collected himself after his juggling episode to play drums) with their guitars and drum kit, causing many a student to shout wildlly; the episode from the in-school sleepover was still very fresh in their minds, and the band had enjoyed considerable popularity in recent times. Kimimaro was to sing, so he came up to the microphone and began.

"A one and-a two and-a three..." he said, and Tayuya played a riff recognizable to almost anyone sitting in that audience, that made Naruto go absolutely nuts.

"DUDE, THEY'RE PLAYING BARENAKED LADIES!" he said excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Naruto, aren't you next?" Hinata said, taking him out of his happiness as they played.

"Oh crap, you're right!" he said, and dashed away. "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck, Naruto!" Haku called.

"If I had a million dollars..." Kimimaro began to sing, and Tayuya echoed him as the song required. The mellow song was a hit among the crowd, as the call-and-response formula had everyone singing back "YOU ALWAYS WANTED A MONKEY," when the time was right.

As the curtain was lowered, Kidoumaru took the stage to announce the final act.

"Awright, here's the final act! We have Naruto Uzumaki!" he said, and stepped away. Naruto stood on stage in his clothes, a bit nervous.

"GO NARUTO!" he heard his sister cheer, and he blushed a little. Then, the lights went out. Just as planned.

When they came back up, they showed Naruto, dressed in a wife-beater and jeans, with beaten-up sneakers and a baseball cap, a microphone in his hand. A riff came on the speakers, and immediately, and a few people screamed in delight at the familiar tune.

"Excuse me, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?" he began, and everyone cheered.

Naruto suprised everyone with a hilarious, spot-on performance of Eminem's "Real Slim Shady," and as he took his bows at the end of the song, he received a standing ovation.

Next  
- Irony on Prom Night


	19. Irony on Prom Night

Konoha High  
Chapter 19  
- Irony on Prom Night -

"Dei, get out of your freaking room! We don't have all day!"

Ino shouted in annoyance at her older sister, who was having an early-morning painting session on the day of prom at Konoha High.

"What's the fuss, I'm cool, man," said Deidara, coming to the door; she was wearing nothing but a pair of overalls, boxers, and a sock on her left foot, her arms covered in paint.

"Uck! Have some shame, and go take a shower!" Ino said, shoving her out of the way and in the direction of the bathroom. "Do you even care that prom is tonight?"

"Oh, it is, man?" Deidara said.

"Well YEAH!" said Ino. "Come on, get cleaned up, I gotta do your hair before school starts!"

Deidara laughed as she started the shower, and emerged 5 minutes later, squeaky clean.

"Ah, there you are," said Ino exhasperantly. "Put something like a button-down shirt on or something, and come into the kitchen, will you?"

"Sure, man," Deidara said, and came into the kitchen with a clean pair of overalls and a tailored shirt as Ino was getting the last of her hairclips together on the counter.

"Sit down over here," Ino commanded, and Deidara did as such, while Ino brandished a comb and tackled the ragged blonde locks that hung over her shoulders and slightly soaked her shoulders.

"My god, how can you live like this? Look at how messy your hair is! Don't you ever use a blow-dryer?" Ino scoffed, untangling a particularly nasty knot with the comb.

"Don't like 'em, man, and it doesn't make much difference," Deidara said simply. Ino sighed.

"Well, I suppose I can do something with these split ends..." she said. "First thing's first, we need to get that bang out of your eye; I simply will not allow it."

"Jeesh, man..." Deidara sulked, as Ino parted her hair in the middle and exposed her different-colored eyes; usually, only her blue eye was exposed, while her brown eye was usually covered by her bang; Deidara always had done it this way, since she thought her blue eye was prettier, but now they were there both seen. Ino looked at them for a moment, then continued on.

"Just sit still and let me work," Ino said, while taking a hair clip and pinning away a small section of hair while she blew and styled a small amount. The two sat in silence while Ino blew and sprayed things in Deidara's hair.

"You know, I noticed your room and clothes don't smell so much like pot anymore," she said.

"I quit ages ago, man," Deidara said simply.

"Really? Are you serious?" said Ino, placing a bobby pin in her mouth.

"Yeah; Sasori quit, so I figured I would too, man," she replied.

"Huh, well, that's good for you," said Ino a bit stoically.

"I figured it just wasn't worth it; it was killing my grades and stuff, man," Deidara said. "I figured it was time for a change, man. And hey, my art's improved a ton since then, man."

Ino said nothing for a while, pinning and blowing Deidara's hair still.

"You know, I'm kinda proud of you, Dei," she said. "You know... going to prom this year, actually caring about school and stuff."

"Yeah, I'm pretty proud too, man," Deidara replied. "I guess it was just the right time to grow up, man."

"Uh-huh..." said Ino. "So...you looking forward to, you know, dancing with Sasori and stuff?"

"Yeah, man! Of course I am!" Deidara said. "Let you in on a little secret?"

"Secret? What?" said Ino, leaning forward a little bit.

"I've wanted to go to a prom or a ball or something since I was little, man, and now I think I deserve the opportunity, man," Deidara said wistfully. "It's gonna be...magical, or something, I just know it, man..."

"Wow, I'd never expect that from you..." said Ino.

"Yeah, me either, considering how I've been behaving, man," said Deidara. "It's hard to believe that it's gonna be possible, and Sasori there as my 'prince', man."

"Your 'prince'?" said Ino. Deidara began to chuckle.

"Nevermind, man," she said. "So, who are you going with, man? I don't think you said. Is it that Sasuke kid?"

"Sasuke, oh, no no no!" Ino said, getting a little embarrassed. "I can't believe that you'd think that! Just because I took him (a freshman!) to homecoming doesn't mean I'd bring him to PROM!"

"I though you liked him, man," said Deidara.

"Well... things have kinda changed, I guess," Ino said. "He's gotten... more confident, I think... I couldn't ask him now, he'd have... the guts to reject me, I guess..."

Both sisters were silent as they thought over this. Then, Deidara spoke.

"So, who _are_ you going with, man?" she asked cheekily.

"Well... it's supposed to be... kind of... a secret..." Ino said, blushing a little, grabbing a hair tie.

"I can keep a secret, man," Deidara said, smiling.

"You absolutely promise?" Ino said.

"Swear to god, man."

"Well, you're gonna meet him tonight, anyways..." Ino said. "Okay... the guy who asked me to prom is..."

She paused and blushed.

"Who is it, man?" asked Deidara.

"...Sai Yamato..." Ino replied.

"Sai? That guy? Holy crap, man! That's awesome, man!" Deidara gushed. "He's so sweet, Ino, I never knew he liked you, man."

"Neither did I, to tell the truth!" Ino giggled. "I always thought he was gay or something, but then he comes up to me with Sakon and asks

me just...out of the blue, it was so cute!"

"He totally acts gay, but to tell the truth, man, I think he's just bi," Deidara said wisely.

"Really, now?" said Ino.

"You have a problem with that or something?" Deidara said.

"Not at all, I mean... I have a sibling that's both my brother and sister, so... I guess I could handle anything!" she replied, and the two of them began to laugh.

"There, you're all done!" Ino said, finishing the up-do and holding up a mirror for Deidara to see.

"Wow, Ino! This is... wow, man, I can't say how nice this looks..." she said, observing the hairstyle in the mirror, hardly believing it was her sister's handiwork.

"No problem, you needed it," Ino said. "Just promise not to mess it up or anything, okay?"

Deidara laughed and nodded.

"'course not, man," she said. "Ino... thanks a lot, really."

The two sisters hugged, when Ino's cell phone beeped.

"SHIT! I'm late for my hair appointment!" she screamed, and stormed out of the way.

"So you can do my hair, but not your own, man?" Deidara laughed as she slapped on some flip-flops.

"Hell no! I suck at doing hair!" Ino cried, and slammed the door to the garage, getting into the car.

-///-

Ino and Deidara, along with many other seniors and juniors, skipped school for the day to get manicures, hair appointments, and other last-minute details before the magic night finally arrived. Suprisingly, Deidara and Sasori had been voted onto Prom Court (how that happened, nobody knew), along with Itachi and Kisame, so they all planned on meeting together; Deidara and Sasori were going as a couple, but Kisame couldn't find a girl that was willing to go with him (Kin expressed a little interest, but he was worried, as she was only a sophomore), and Itachi simply didn't care to find one. Ino had gone shopping for dresses with Deidara almost a month before prom started, and when they couldn't decide what to get, Deidara chose a simple white dress and shut it up in her room, where she added things to it and made it her own; Ino went with a plain purple dress that started out light and became darker as it trailed to the floor, with spaghetti straps.

That evening, Ino got on her dress and was finishing up her makeup in the bathroom, when she heard a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's me, man, don't you wanna see my dress?"

Suprised, Ino closed her makeup bag and opened the door.

Deidara's dress was gorgeous; she had trimmed the straps to gently fall over her shoulders with the added ribbons, and hand-sewn small glass beads in spiral patterns on the top and bottom.

"Wow... Deidara, I... wow, that's just amazing..." was all that she could say.

"You really think so, man?" said Deidara.

"You look like a princess," Ino said, smiling. "Well, we need some makeup, don't we?"

Deidara nodded, and Ino carefully applied some strategetic blush and eyeshadow where it was needed, but not too much.

"There, we're all done, have a look," she said, once she was finished.

"You've done it again, man," said Deidara. "You should become a makeup artist or something, man."Ino blushed, and snapped her makeup kit closed. "Dad's gonna wanna take pictures of this," she said. "Let's get downstairs and wait for our dates."

Nodding, the girls came down the stairs together and found their parents in the kitchen.

Being the man that he was, Mr. Yamanaka took a barrage of pictures, before the limosine that Sai had hired showed up with their dates inside, which prompted several more pictures.

Finally, they were off, and had a pleasant conversation on their way to the hotel where the dance was to be held. They entered the dance with the air of celebrities on a red carpet, and parted ways. Deidara and Sasori quickly found Kisame and Itachi, who were wearing red and blue ties to match their black suits, and while Kisa gushed on how beautiful Deidara's dress was, Itachi simply nodded and said "it's nice," despite the fact that his vision had declined so much in recent times, he could barely see her (Kisame served as a sort of big, blue, guide dog/shark). Thusly, to Deidara, it meant a lot, and she kissed Itachi on the cheek; this received no reaction.

The four of them found a table to sit at and danced occasionally, mostly talking to each other and waiting for the crowning ceremony. Kimimaro and Tayuya, who were going together, came to visit not long after the dance started, and they all began to laugh when they found Shikamaru Nara dancing with Temari Sabaku, who was three grades above him.

Finally, it was the crowning ceremony; Mr. Hatake and Ms. Yuhi stood on the podium with the crowns, ready to announce it.

"All right, kids, you having a fun time?" Mr. Hatake said. There were several enthusiastic cheers.

"Well, it's the moment you've all been waiting for; the crowning of the Prom Court," Ms.Yuhi said. There were more cheers.

"So, our three Prom Princesses are..." Mr. Hatake said, and took out a slip to read from, "...Temari Sabaku, Ino Yamanaka, and... Sakon Seimon...?"

Everyone began to laugh; what had started out as a simple joke of Sakon placing himself under the "princess" ballot had escalated into him actually being voted in! With a big grin on his face, he joined Temari and Ino on stage and waved at everyone.

"And our Prom Princes are... Sasori Akasuna, Sai Yamato, and Kimimaro Kaguya!" Mr. Hatake announced, and everyone cheered as the boys took the stage.

"So, I bet you're wondering who the King and Queen are, eh?" Mr. Hatake said teasingly. There was many a shout for people wanting to know.

"Then tell them already, Kakashi," Ms. Yuhi said, annoyedly. "We haven't got all night..."

"All right, all right... our Prom King is..."

Itachi braced himself to get up, absolutely certain he was going to win.

"**...Kisame Hoshigaki!**"

He stopped and was pulled down by Deidara, who was in a fit of giggles as Kisame skipped in absolute joy to the stage and was crowned by Ms. Yuhi. Everyone began to clap, and Deidara put her hand on Itachi's back.

"Well, you can't win 'em all, eh man?" she said comfortingly. Itachi nodded.

"Yeah... he deserves that a lot more than me, I guess..." he said.

"That's the most unselfish thing I've heard from you all year, man," said Deidara.

"Don't count on there being more," Itachi said bitterly, and Deidara laughed.

"And our Prom Queen is..." said Ms. Yuhi.

Girls around the ballroom everywhere crossed their fingers, praying to be chosen.

"**...Deidara Yamanaka!**"

Deidara was speechless, and almost began to cry. Ino and the rest of the court began to clap and cheer her on, for they couldn't think of a more-fitting queen. With a grin the size of the Grand Canyon on her face, she came up to the stage and was crowned by Mr. Hatake, her eyes growing misty, she joined Kisame and held his large, blue hand.

"Well, I'll be damned," Mr. Hatake said to Ms. Yuhi quietly. "This really is an awesome school, when the Prom King has blue skin and the Queen is a hermaphrodite." Ms. Yuhi nodded, and her dark red lips cracked into a smile.

"The King and the Queen will now share a slow dance," the DJ said, and Deidara and Kisame walked together to the center of the ballroom as everyone formed a circle around them, and appropriate music began to play.

"Dei, are you crying?" he asked her, as she buried her face in his jacket.

"No, I'm just happy," she said, smiling up at him with tears in her eyes, the usual 'man' absent in her sentences from the sheer emotion of the moment. "I've dreamed of this for... ages, and now... here I am, a... princess..."

"So have I, Dei, so have I," he replied, and hugged her tightly as they slowly swayed to the dreamy song, and couples all around them joined in. "Dei, you always were a princess, and now it's your time to show everyone."

She hugged Kisame tighter, when she felt a small tap on her back; it was Sasori.

"If I may?" he asked, offering his hand like a gentleman. With a smile, she took it, and they began to dance.

"So, my 'Queen'," he said, "what shall we do, tonight?"

"We'll go home... and I'll sit on the roof with you, and we can kick off the moss or something like that, man," she said.

"Like in that Elton John song?" Sasori asked.

"Exactly like that Elton John song, man," she replied, smiling. "After all, that's how my dreams of this night always ended."

Next  
- One Final Fling


	20. One Final Fling

Konoha High  
Chapter 20  
- One Final Fling -

There are but few times in a year where one can experience a rare, delicious anxiousness that hangs heavily in the air, so undeniably _there_, you can taste it and feel its prescence simply by breathing in the air and vapors of expectation that saturate the environment. You can feel it the night before your birthday, or Christmas, or New Years, or maybe even Halloween or Valentines Day, or perhaps the day before a lovely vacation that your family had been planning for _ages_ and never seemed to draw any nearer. These are all quite wonderful, exhilirating feelings, but nothing compares to the tension one experiences on the last day of school, by watching the seconds on the clock go by, one after another, drawing to the final, wonderful, goal: freedom. And right now, Naruto was feeling its full effects, sitting in Mr. Might's room for his final Art class of the year.

Currently, the bushy-browed Mexican was ranting about how wonderful the year had been between him and the students, which was thoroughly boring everyone or entertaining, depending on your sense of humor, when suddenly...

BING!

The final bell of the year tolled, and a collective scream of freedom issued throughout the school.

"Well, I guess it's over, then," Mr. Hatake said, leaning against the wall by his classroom as students ran merrily by.

"You leaving, now that your job's done and we've caught the snake?" Jiraiya asked, who was leaning against the wall as well, shaking his head with a slight smile at the mess being made by the students.

"Naw... I think being a teacher beats being an undercover agent any day," he replied, with a grin on his face.

"I was hoping you'd say that," said Jiraiya, grinning widely and patting him on the back.

Naruto bolted through the door while people poured loose papers down the stairwells in a joyous rain of worksheets and diagrams. He saw his friends running around and laughing, and he quickly found his group of friends outside by the buses.

"YEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!" Naruto yelled, happily jumping towards the sky and stretching his arms up.

"Fuck yes!" Tayuya cried. "NO MORE SCHOOL, OH YEAH!"

"You can say that again!" said Kin, dancing to a song blasting from her headphones. "Right on!"

"Are you all ready to go?" Kimimaro said, who seemed to be the only one calm at the moment.

"Oh, I forgot!" Sasuke said. "The pool party at Naruto's house, right?"

"I think everyone's here," said Hinata.

"Not Haku and Zabuza," Naruto said.

"No, we're here," Haku said, smiling and arriving with his usual sidekick.

"Kisame and th'others said they wuz gonna come in his car," Zabuza reported. "I think we's all set."

"Ukon's already on vacation, since he graduated yesterday," said Kimimaro (seniors graduated the night before school got out). "Let's go, then."

And as they did once on Halloween, they collected into his van and drove to Naruto's house, where his mother and father had set up an end-of-the-year pool party for Naruto and his friends.

Unloading, they went into a few different bathrooms or bedrooms to get their swimsuits on, while Naruto (who had put his swim trunks on under his pants) helped his mom put snacks out, when Kisame and his buddies showed up.

"Nice suit, Deidara!" he said, pointing at the girl in question, who wore a bikini and swim trunks while proudly coming down to the pool.

"Sensible and hot, man, what can I say?" she said. "Oy, Kisa! Do a barrel roll, man!"

"What's a barrel roll?" Kisame said innocently.

"Nothing, nothing, man, do a cannon ball!" Deidara said, snickering at her internet inside joke. Kisame obliged and dove in as most of  
Naruto's other friends came down to the pool.

"Yo, Kisa!" Zabuza called. "Nice moves there, dog!"

Kisame fluidly swam around the pool, much like a shark, and surfaced to squirt water in Tayuya's face.

"Hey, don't fucking do that!" she yelled.

"Watch the language!" Kyuubi snapped, and Tayuya backed away like a frightened dog at her tone.

"Yes, ma'am..." she said.

"Whee, barrel roll!" Kin said, jumping into the pool and causing a large splash.

"Hey, me too, man!" Deidara said, joining them.

"Sasori, you not swimming?" Naruto asked, seeing that Sasori was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, but not trunks.

"I don't like swimming," he replied simply, and took a spot with a book on a chair. Haku joined him shortly afterward; he was wearing trunks and a tee, but said he didn't like swimming too much and would much rather watch.

"Wanna jump in, Sasuke?" Naruto asked his friend. Sasuke nodded.

"Sure, where's the diving board?" he asked.

"Over here, sweetie," Kyuubi said, guiding Sasuke by the shoulder; after Naruto had brought him over for a sleepover, she had practically fallen in love with the recovering emo and treated him like a second son of sorts. "Anything else you need?"

"I'm fine, Mrs. Uzumaki," Sasuke said politely, with a smile. Kyuubi promptly gave him a quick hug, and went to get some more potato chips.

The afternoon wore on as they paddled around in the water, ate snacks, and played games; a splendid game of Marco Polo was played, and Hinata and Sasuke proved to be the best at the game, for they hid in a small cave behind a decorative waterfall on the pool. Zabuza and Kisame offered their shoulders for a super-fun game of Chicken, and some of the funner matches proved to be between Tayuya and Sasuke, who fought tenaciously against each other and ended up with Sasuke as the victor. Needless to say, when Naruto and Sasuke were pitted against each other, it ended up in a draw, with both of them falling flat on their backs into the water.

As the day began to end, they all sat at a glass table and ate chips and hot dogs, reflecting on the fun memories they had shared.

"Remember you said your favorite horror movie was 'The Exorcist' on Halloween, Hinata?" Kin asked. "What a hoot!"

"But that is my favorite horror movie..." said Hinata. There was silence for a while.

"Hey guys, you know what I realized?" Naruto said.

"What?" said Sasuke.

"This is the last year we get to spend with Kisame and Deidara and Sasori, and Haku and Zabuza," he said sadly. "You guys are seniors, and Haku's going back to China."

"Yes, I am," Haku echoed. "It's all very sad, I'm going to miss everyone very much..."

"But you'll still have me, boo," Zabuza said with a smile.

"What'dyou mean?" said Kin.

"Didn't he tell you?" said Haku happily. "Zabuza has been accepted at a local university! He is coming back to China with me!"

"No way, that's just awesome!" said Naruto.

"Congrats, man!" said Deidara.

"Thanks. I couldn't-a done it withoutchu, boo," Zabuza said, hugging Haku around the shoulder. "Meeting you was the best thing eva, you helped mah studies, and I'm gonna go somewhere with mah life now."

Haku smiled and leaned his head against Zabuza, then opened his eyes.

"Oh, Zabuza... do you suppose... that we should tell everyone now?" he said.

"Tell us what?" said Kin. "You hiding something else?"

Haku nodded. "Yes... I have to tell you all..." he began, and started to take off his t-shirt.

Underneath the t-shirt was a one-piece swimsuit, and what was undoubtably a female chest.

"...I am in actuality a woman," Haku said simply.

There was stunned silence.

Then, with the exception of Naruto, Sasuke, Kimimaro, and Hinata, a chorus of "YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS!" was heard; there had been an underground assumption that the feminine boy in their ranks wasn't what he said, and various bets were made among the group as to whether or not it was true throughout the year.

"Wait, what the heck?" said Naruto. "Haku, you're a girl?"

"It is true," said Haku. "I was raised as a boy, it is quite a long story. I'm sorry for lying to you all, but it is what I was comfortable with all year; until now, the only people knowing are Zabuza, Sai-gege, and Tenzo-baba."

"Oh, Haku..." said Kin.

"Please forgive me for this," said Haku, bowing her head a little. "I dearly wish that our friendship remain the same."

"We don't care whether you're a boy _or_ a girl," said Hinata, smiling. "You're still our friend, and that's all that matters."

"Yeah, I mean, look at Dei," Sasori added, and everyone laughed.

"Well, I seriously wasn't fucking expecting this," said Tayuya, leaning back casually. "Why didn't you tell us from the start?"

"I don't know..." Haku said shyly. "It is simply how I grew up; I suppose that I'm still trying to adapt to how I really am, and Zabuza has been very supportive of me as my boyfriend."

"So you're _not_ gay!" Kisame said joyfully.

"Hell naw!" Zabuza replied, a slight glare in his eyes.

"So that's what all that 'Boo' buisiness was about," Kin concluded. "Good for you, Zabuza!"

"So, I was right," Kyuubi said, coming by with a new bowl of chips, and replacing it on the table. "Haku, you're too cute to be a boy; I hope you gain comfort as you are soon."

"Thank you, Mrs. Uzumaki," Haku smiled.

"Wait, mom, since when did you know?" Naruto said.

"Don't you remember? Thanksgiving?" she said. "My goodness, you have such a bad memory, mon fils."

"Mama!" Naruto whined, causing everyone to laugh. After a small rest, Zabuza was quiet for a small while, enjoying the faint, early-summer breeze, as Haku leaned against him and smiled contentedly.

"Things're good for us," he said. "Don't it seem that way?"

"Yeah..." everyone replied, in a happy, collective sigh. Naruto smiled, wishing that this moment would never end; a warm afternoon, with friends and family and people he loved.

"Naruto, you need to wake up."

Haku suddenly spoke, her accent gone.

"What? Wake up? Haku, what happened to your voice?" he asked.

"You need to wake up, Naruto; we'll still be here, don't worry," she said, smiling. "We'll always be here, when you close your eyes."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Naruto said, confused. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"Wake up, Naruto," said Kimimaro, and he began to change; his hair lost its dreadlocks and became straight, red paint appeared under his eyes, and he was clothed in a strange loose robe with a purple rope for a belt.

"Wake up, Naruto," said Tayuya, who had changed into a small robe similar to Kimimaro's.

"Naruto, wake up," said Kisame, who now wore a strange coat of black, with a high collar and red clouds on it.

"What in the world is going on??" Naruto said, looking around, a little scared. "What's happening?"

"Wake up, Naruto, you need to find..." Sasuke began. He turned around to see him there, when...

* * *

"Wake up! Naruto, wake up! Kakashi-sensei's gonna get SO pissed at you if you're late for training!" 

Naruto woke up to Sakura's morning screech, and he annoyedly screwed his eyes up in irritation to the daylight.

"Ughh... five more minutes..." he said, turning over. The next thing he knew, his sheets had been flung off him, and he curled up in response to the sudden chill.

"Come on, Sai's probably already there!" Sakura said, towering over his bed in anger.

"All right, all right, fine..." Naruto said sleepily, and swung his legs over the bed, getting up. "Man, that was some crazy dream."

"What dream?" Sakura asked.

"The one where we're all at the school or whatever, where the Akatsuki are our friends and Orochimaru got arrested and Jiraiya-ecchi-sensei was a cleaning-man," he replied, pulling on his pants. "We were all at a pool and Sasuke and I... yeah..."

"That one? You're crazy," said Sakura. "Come on, get your jacket on, we need to get going, or we'll keep both Sai AND Kakashi-sensei waiting."

"Man, but it seems so real..." he said sleepily, completely ignoring her.

"Idiot, _all_ dreams seem real, when you're having them," Sakura said skeptically.

Naruto yawned and reached in his dresser for his jacket.

_"We'll always be here, when you close your eyes."_

The haunting words of the first person he had ever seen killed before his own eyes echoed in his mind, his smiling face appearing once he closed his eyes...or was it her smiling face? He was absolutely sure that in his dream, Haku had called herself a woman...

He frowned in confusion as he zipped up his jacket.

"Come on, Naruto, we have to go!" Sakura called.

He smirked a little bit as he followed Sakura out the door and locked it behind him, bounding into the sky.

Was it a dream, or was it real?

He decided he'd save that question for another time.

- THE END -


	21. Epilogue

Konoha High  
- Epilogue -

"MAN! That mission SUCKED!"

Naruto complained loudly as he walked back home with Sai and Sakura later that day.

"Naruto, quit complaining," Sakura replied with a scowl. "Watching Lady Daimoto's dogs isn't that hard!"

"Not when they're like... 5 feet tall!" Naruto said, indicating with this hand how big he approximated the hounds to be.

"I thought it wasn't much trouble," said Sai. "They're quite... cute, is that the word?"

Sakura laughed a little bit, while Naruto rolled his eyes in annoyance; those hellhounds were anything _but_ "cute", in his opinion.

"I'm bushed; I'll get some sleep, you guys. Later!" he said.

"It's not even sunset yet," Sakura noted, but Naruto shrugged.

"No difference, I'm still tired. See you guys later," he said.

"Bye, Naruto-kun," Sai said, waving at him. Naruto smiled back at the two of them and returned to his apartment. Practically jumping into his pajamas, he dove into bed and was out like a light. And then, his dream began...

* * *

"Yeah, yeah, Mama. I know. Oh, really? That's great, thanks for telling for me. Oh, how's Naruko, by the way?"_  
_

10 years had passed since Naruto Uzumaki, the now-28-year-old Canadian prankster, had graduated from Konoha High, and he stood in the kitchen of his city apartment, talking to his mother on the phone; snow fell outside, visible through the large glass windows in his streamlined pad.

A lot had changed in his life; due to some remarkable teachers and professors, his writing had improved quite nicely over high school and college, and he now held a job as a writer and editor of a rather popular gaming magazine. The job was like a dream come true, where he was practically paid to play games and write about them, and it gave him exclusive access to games-in-the-making and rare titles that were out-of-print and such. He had moved out East after applying for a college in another state, and eventually stayed there after finishing his 4 years.

While his business life was successful, however, his relationships had grown quite ragged. Hinata moved away shortly after high school ended, and he heard through the grapevine that she was working at a school or something, somewhere out in the Midwest. Haku and Zabuza occasionally sent him an email and, in rare instances, a picture; they had gotten married after Haku finished school, and were traveling through northern China, last he heard. Deidara and Sasori packed up and left the day after his pool party, and he guessed they were probably somewhere in a studio apartment, painting and sculpting to their heart's content. He hadn't heard much from anyone else, being that they were older than him and couldn't send him messages very often.

Funnily enough, the only person he kept in touch with was Sasuke, who had joined the police force, like his father, and was still single. He'd receive regular emails about the goings-on in Konoha, including interesting cases at the moment and what was going on with his family. Itachi, who lost his sight completely due to the degenerative disease eating away at it for several years, persued a career in politics and became an excellent debator, and was currently a senator. Kisame, who was always calling Itachi, and thus was heard of by Sasuke, had gotten a degree in animal care and worked as a trainer at Seaworld, where he trained the dolphins and whales to do tricks, something he had dreamt of doing since he was very little.

As for his parents, he received regular phone calls from his father, and occasionally his mother, who was still running her business like a well-oiled machine. He made sure to visit at least once a year, usually around Christmas.

"Ah, that's good. Say 'Hi' to her for me, will ya? Hehe, thanks," he said, laughing a little as he paced around. "Eh? What, an invitation to something?" She had just asked him if he received an invitation to the 10-year Reunion of his graduating class at Konoha High later in the year, which he was oblivious to. "I dunno, mom, haven't checked my mail yet!" he replied. "Let me see..."

Crossing to the island of the kitchen, he sifted through the envelopes of that day's mail, looking for something that looked like an invitation. "Really, mom, don't think I got one," he said, not quite sure of what she was saying. "Oh, Sasuke got one? Huh, that's funny... oh wait, I found it!" He cradled the phone against his shoulder and read the invitation while his mom talked to him some more. "Ah, so this looks like fun," he said. "What? Oh, mom, I haven't seen those guys in ages. How would I get a hold of them? ... Wait, how do you know where they are? ... Clients. Right, very nice, mom."

He laughed; his mom had suggested a return-party for the reunion, and his friends that didn't graduate in the same year as him. He found the whole idea quite preposterous; he hadn't heard from anyone other than Sasuke in 5 years, at least, and it seemed kind of odd that he'd out-of-the-blue invite them over for a party at his old house. As she spoke, he glanced at the silver picture frame, with the picture of them covered in crusty food after the Thanksgiving Food Fight Fest, as he fondly remembered it. Supposedly, Kyuubi had a way to contact them.

"Mom, I dunno if this is a good idea or not, frankly!" he said, laughing. "What, do you expect me to just call like... I dunno, Kin, up and say 'Hey, haven't seen you in 7 years! Wanna come to my house for a party?'?" Kyuubi continued; she honestly thought it was a good idea, and Naruto sighed. "Mom, my god... I haven't seen any of those guys in..."

She continued on, determined to have it put together. Finally, Naruto sighed.

"All right, all right... if you want to put a party together, fine. I don't care," he said, defeated. Kyuubi cheered on the other line, and he laughed a little. "Hehe, it would be kind of fun. You got their... phone numbers or emails or something? ... You do, eh? Oh, okay. If you're gonna invite over email or something, just forward the replies to me, okay? I wanna see what they say. Ah, you're gonna say they're from me? Eh? Ah, okay, I guess that makes sense. All right, mom. I can't believe you talked me into this..." Kyuubi laughed a little and said she loved him. "Awright, mom, I love you too. See you later," he said, and hung up. He chuckled as he looked at the phone; this wasn't honestly going to work.

-///-

The next day, his inbox was full of messages from names he hadn't heard in a good long while: Haku and Sasuke had replied, but he was quite shocked to see people like Kin, Ukon, and Tayuya in his inbox.

"My god..." he said, laughing slightly as he looked at them. "So they really replied? Haha, let's see what this first one says..."  
He opened the first email, from Haku and Zabuza, and began to read.

_Dear Naruto,  
Well, it's been a while!  
Zabuza and I heard from your mother that she was throwing a party for all of us to attend after the school reunion, and we both think it's a splendid idea!  
We did have plans to be in the US to attend the reunion, but this would be much better, to see everyone else that we would have otherwise missed. I miss you dearly, I wonder how much you've changed! I suppose I've changed a lot, too; it's been a while since the last picture and messages we've sent you._

_Looking forward to seeing you there!  
Yours,_

_Haku_

Laughing, he opened Sasuke's email.

_Naruto,  
Heard thru your mom that there's going to be a party at the reunion. Awesome, sounds like a great idea.  
- Sasuke_

"Hmm, rather short," he thought aloud, and promptly opened Kin's message.

_Naru,  
Great idea! I can't wait to be there!  
God, there's so much I gotta get you caught up on...what a great opportunity. :D_

_See you in a few months!  
Cheers,  
Kin_

"Cheerful," he thought, and clicked out. "Who's next? Tayu?"

_Naru! Haven't heard from you in a while._

_I suppose I have enough time to show up; don't got much going on with me, outside my little angel. You've totally got to meet her, so I guess I don't have to have a babysitter take care of things. Well, her dad maybe...whatever, I'm sure she'd like to meet you too, she's absolutely adorable._

_Either way, I'm psyched to be there. _

_- Tayuya_

"Little angel?" Naru thought aloud confusedly, closing the email. "What, did she have a kid? I wonder if she got married..."

_Hey, Naru,  
Well, I suppose we're lucky we pulled into a hotel with wi-fi today; so there's going to be a party, eh? Sounds like a nice deal.  
Dei and I have been on the road lately, it's been a wild time. I suppose we can return home for the reunion and meet up with you all.  
Great, gotta go- Dei's got a hangover..._

_Sasori_

Naruto chuckled a little as he opened Ukon's message, which was even shorter than Sasuke's.

_Naruto,  
Will ask for break at reunion; things look good._

_Ukon_

"Hmm, he must be quite busy..." Naruto thought, reading Kisame's reply with a smile; it was quite long and filled with a great many emoticons, and it wasn't hard to see he was excited over it. He finished the emails and leaned back contentedly, until he realized something; Hinata didn't reply. He figured she was busy, or hadn't gotten the email yet, but when more time passed, and winter turned into spring, he still hadn't heard from her at all.

-///-

Finally, it was summer, and the reunion was fast approaching. Asking for some leave from his boss, he easily aquired time for him to spend in Konoha for the reunion and party. Getting his car prepared, he drove to his old home about two days before the reunion was scheduled to begin. He drove down the familiar highways and into the suburbs of Konoha, until he found himself driving up the road to his old home, as grand and welcoming as ever. As soon as he had walked into the door, he was practically tackled by his mother and sister on either side of him.

"ACK! Mom, Naruko!" he shouted.

"Naruto, look at you!" Naruko replied. "What in the world did you do to your HAIR?"

"When's the last time you had a shave?" his mother added, pulling away and slightly scowling at the stubbly blonde growth on Narutos's chin. "You look like a caveman!"

"It's nice to see you again too, mom," Naruto said cheerfully, freeing himself from his mother and sister.

"Welcome home, Naru!" his father's voice called from the kitchen.

"Hey dad, nice to see you too!" Naru replied, taking off his shoes. "Jeesh, mom, don't smother me! I'm an adult, for pete's sake."

Entering the kitchen, he saw his father, who had a few new wrinkles in his face, and silver streaks in his golden hair, but was otherwise unchanged, much like his mother.

"Dad," he said happily, and gave him a hug. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, it's good to see you," he replied. "Hmm, looks like you need a shave and a haircut."

"Two bits?" he said with a laugh, then scowled. "Daaad!"

"Well maybe someone outside your family can offer an opinion," said a familiar voice behind him, and he turned around to see Sasuke behind him with a smirk on his face, his hair as long and untidy as ever.

"Sasuke, dude! How're things?" he said, as they clasped hands and patted their backs in a homie hug.

"Not too bad, it's really good to see you again," he replied. "Man, you _really_ need to get a haircut, it's too spikey."

"Dahh, not you too!" Naruto said, laughing a little bit while fingering his unruly hair. "I like my hair the way it is."

Everyone began to laugh, while drinks were poured and news was shared.

After settling down, Naruto was put in his old room for the stay, while Sasuke and Naruko had their own homes (and, in Naruko's case, a husband and child) to go to; according to his mother, the rest of the future guests were staying in hotels and inns. The day after he had arrived home, his mother already put him to work with chores, and sent him to get groceries; with a groan, he entered his car and began on his way. It was somewhere between the pasta and canned-goods aisles that something remarkable happened. He was reaching for a box of spaghetti when a pale hand reached for a similar box that was nearby; out of curiosity, he glanced to see who the owner of the hand was, and was surprised to find someone quite familiar.

"Hinata?"

The person turned around, and her unmistakable pale eyes made it clear; it was Hinata, barely changed from the last time he saw her, which had to have been over 9 years before.

"Oh, Naruto? Is that you?" she said, smiling; her voice was much clearer than he last remembered.

"Yeah, it's me!" he replied, putting the spaghetti in his cart. "Wow, look at you, you look great!"

"Thank you, I can say the same for you. Nice hair!" she said, smiling. "I haven't heard from you in a while, how have things been?"

"They've been good... wait, you say you haven't heard from me?" he said, scratching the back of his head. She nodded. "No, not at all," she replied. "I don't suppose I gave you my new phone number, did I? I'm so careless, do you-"

"But wait... my mom sent you an email just recently, didn't she? Did you get it?" he interrupted.

"Email? She must have had the wrong address, I haven't gotten anything," she said, laughing a little. "What did she email me about?"

"Oh, well... there's a reunion party at my house after the reunion this Saturday, all the old gang's coming," he said. "Would you be interested in coming?"

"Oh, well, I don't know... that does sound like a nice idea, I suppose Lee and I could come," she replied, looking at the floor as she calculated her schedule.

"Wait, wait, Lee? Who's that?" Naruto said.

"Lee? Rock Lee? Oh, you've got to remember him, he went to school with us!" she said, looking at him. "We got married about... 3 years ago, he must be somewhere in the store..."

"You married _him_?" Naruto said, a little disbelievingly. "Oh... wow, I'd never expect that! I always thought he'd end up with Sakura..."

"They only dated for about a year, don't you remember?" Hinata laughed. "Sophomore year, and that's about it... I don't think they were fit as lovers, but they're still close."

"I see..." Naruto said thoughtfully. "Well, congratulations! It's a shame I couldn't be there for the wedding."  
Hinata smiled, a little sadly, when a cart came down the aisle.

"I found the chips!" a loud, cheerful voice said, and Naruto saw Lee there, his haircut dramatically changed from the time he last saw him in high school, but his large eyebrows still present. "Oh, Naruto! Hey, how are you?"

"Good, Lee, I'm doing well," he smiled. "Hinata, you wanna tell him?"

"Oh, I'll tell him in the car," she replied. "Could you give me your cell phone number so I can call you back?"

"Sure, hold on," Naruto said, fishing in his wallet for a scrap of paper, then realizing his business card had his cell on it, so he handed one to her.

"Editor of Game Infarcer... wow, Naruto, I never thought you'd be doing something like this," Lee noted, reading it.

"I did," Hinata said cheerfully. "I'll call you soon, take care!"

The couple strolled off, discussing something, leaving Naruto in the aisle, weakly waving his hand in an almost sad way.

-///-

He returned home and talked with Sasuke about who he had run into at the store; he had little to no idea that Hinata and Lee had married, either, and advised Naruto not to think much of it.

"Relationships totally change outside of high school," he said, reclining on the couch and holding his hands behind his head. "Not everyone gets married to their high school sweethearts."

"Yeah, that's true," Naruto said, stretching his shoulders.

"Naru! Help me with dinner, will you?" his mother called from the kitchen.

"Sure," he replied, and got up.

"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke said, and he turned around. "Don't get too down about Hinata; I think she still wants to be friends, from how she was acting with you."

"What? What are you talking about?" Naruto replied.

"Nevermind," Sasuke said, waving his hand. "Don't worry about it."

As Naruto left for the kitchen, he sighed. "God, Naru, you're still about as mature as a middle-schooler when it comes to relationships, aren't you?" he said to himself, and laughed a little. "And the subtlety of a rock when it comes to your feelings, you're absolutely hopeless."

"Sasuke, don't expect to be left out of this, too! Help us with the cooking!" Kyuubi called at him, and with a smirk, he got up to assist.

Hinata called Naruto back as they were washing dishes after the meal, confirming that she and Lee would be there for the party, and once Kyuubi heard she was on the phone, she stole it and talked with her for at least a half-hour.

-///-

Naruto spent the next day hanging out with Sasuke and making a trip to the local amusement park for fun, and totally "pwning" him at the arcade, while his mom and sister started getting the house cleaned up (even though they didn't really have to) for the party that was to happen in two days. As soon as Naruto and Sasuke returned, they were tackled around the middle and floored by a small, dark-haired ball of energy known as Tobi, their collective nephew.

"Uncle Sasuke! Uncle Naruto!" he giggled, delighted by the fact he had gotten both of them to the floor.

"Hi, Tobi!" Sasuke said, collecting himself and brushing himself off. "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't do that every time you saw me."

"Well, I haven't seen you in a while!" Naruto said, who was already standing and reaching for Tobi. "You little booger, look how big you are! Haven't seen you since Christmas!"

"Giving you any trouble, Obi?" Sasuke asked, seeing his older brother standing nearby.

"Eh, it comes and goes," he replied, reaching for his son. "Get over here, you!"

Tobi escaped from Naruto's bear hug and stood at the feet of his father, cheekily grinning at them.

"So I see you're here for the party, eh?" Naruto asked.

"Naw, just coming to pick up Naruko," Obito replied. "We were gonna go out to eat together."

"Chinese food!" Tobi piped enthusiastically.

"Is that so?" Sasuke said, smiling.

"Well, where is she?" Naruto asked.

"Your sister is currently getting her things together," Obito replied, sighing a little. "I swear, she takes a month of Sundays just to put makeup on."

"I do _not_!" Naruko snapped back, joining them.

"Moooom!" Tobi whined, clinging to her legs.

"Let's get going," she said. "We'll be around for the party after tomorrow!"

"Later," Naruto said, waving at them as they went by.

"Watch out for spicy foods, Tobi!" Sasuke warned, referring to an incident in the previous week where he joined his nephew and brother for mexican food; Tobi had tried a taste of Sasuke's extremely spicy salsa and spent the rest of the evening in a state of panic brought on by the shock of the taste. Needless to say, Sasuke was more worried for his nephew than Tobi's own father was, most of the time.

"Uh-huh!" Tobi replied. "Byyye!"

"I'm heading home," Sasuke announced, once Obito and his family had driven away. "See you at the reunion tomorrow, Naruto."

"Yeah, seeya," Naruto replied, giving a half-hearted smile. Once Sasuke had left, he headed for the basement door to play some Halo 2.

"Somethin' the matter, Naru?" his mother asked.

"Naw, nothing, really," he replied, and closed the door behind him.

-///-

At the reunion, he found himself thinking that he had stepped onto the set of some movie, like Romy and Michele, because it was really quite the same; he and Sasuke had carpooled and gotten their nametags at the table on the way into the ballroom (being greeted by a woman they vaguely recognized, but didn't quite remember). The ballroom was awash in balloons and lights, with a few tables of punch and other foods near the walls. All sorts of familiar people walked around, chatting and, well, reuniting. Naruto stood and took it all in with Sasuke, when a very pleasant surprise occured.

"Naruto!!!"

An accented female voice behind him was heard, and he turned around to see-

"Haku!!" he said, absolutely delighted to see his old friend again and receiving a massive hug from her. "How are you, you look-- is that a dress?"

"Yes, my daughter said I should wear one tonight," she said, blushing a little bit. "Zabuza, come over and say hello!"

"Your daughter? I didn't know you had a kid," said Sasuke, getting a hug from Haku as well. "It's good to see you. What's her name?"

"It's Inari; you're lucky we brought a picture," Zabuza said, smirking a little as he joined them and fished around in his wallet for something.  
"She's gonna be 5 this year."

He showed them a picture of a cute little girl perched on a rock with a butterfly on her finger, but she was just like her mother; if Haku hadn't said so, they would have thought her a boy, a fact that was somewhat unsettling.

"Ahh, she's really cute," Naruto said. "You never got the chance to send me any pictures when you told me."

"Sorry about that, you get to see now!" Haku said, smiling sunnily. Her english was greatly improved, even though her accent was still somewhat heavy, but fourteen years of near-constant speaking had certainly helped a lot. "Sasuke, how are you?"

"Good, good," Sasuke said. "Haven't seen you in ages, Haku, it's nice to see you made it."

"So you gave up the ghetto-talk, eh, Zabuza?" Naruto said. Zabuza shrugged.

"'suppose. Wasn't really doing me any good over in China," he replied. "I think I like it better this way."

"Yeah," said Naruto. "Seen anyone familiar tonight?"

"Umm... believe it or not, Temari Sabaku is here tonight," he reported.

"Wait, but wasn't she a senior, like you?" Sasuke said.

"I heard she's here with Shikamaru Nara," Haku said, glancing around as if to find her. "Don't know much, but maybe they got married?"

"Those two? Oh my god," Sasuke said. "Heard they were at prom, but they seriously hooked up?"

"Heard she likes smart men," Zabuza said matter-of-factly. "Pretty smart, herself; went to some fancy college is what I've been hearing."

"Wow, I never would have guessed," said Naruto, oblivious to the fact that Temari had taken all-advanced classes throughout school and scored highest on the SAT for her year, completely defying the "dumb" southern stereotype that hung around her.

"Hey, Naruto! Is that you?" said a vaguely familiar voice, as a woman approached them. Sasuke recognized her instantly.

"Sakura! Hey, is that you?" he said. Naruto resisted the urge to slap himself in the head; how could he not recognize that candy-pink hair?

"Hi, Sasuke, Naruto! It's great to see you all!" she said. "Wowww, you sure look nice, I haven't seen you in ages!"

"How have things been?" Sasuke asked cheerfully.

"Pretty good, actually," Sakura replied. "A lot of people showed up tonight, it's really great!"

"I can see that," Haku smiled.

"Well, um, what you been up to lately?" Naruto asked. "What kinds of work?"

"Television, actually," Sakura said. "Soap operas and things."

"Wow, do you star in them??" Naruto said, oblivious as to what she really meant.

"No, I write," she laughed. "I couldn't act to save my life!"

"How's that workin' out for you?" Sasuke asked.

"Really well! Heck, if I keep it up, I should be getting an Emmy maybe next year!" she said, and laughed; Naruto and the rest of them laughed, not quite sure if she was making a joke or telling the truth.

"What have you been up to, Naruto? I know the police job's been going well for you, Sasuke," she asked.

"Oh, umm..." Naruto said. "I've been working for a gaming magazine, editing and writing articles and things. It's really wicked."

"Ahh, that sounds like loads of fun!" Sakura said happily. "And Haku, Zabuza? How's China? Heard you're living over there."

"Very well," Haku said with a blithe smile. "Zabuza works as a translator for a local business, it's working well for us."

"So you learned Chinese?" Sakura asked him. Zabuza nodded and grunted a little in reply.

"Oh yeah, Naru," Sasuke said. "Maybe she should come to the party!"

"A party? What party?" said Sakura.

"Oh, I'm hosting a party for a bunch of my old high school friends tomorrow, I don't see why you shouldn't come," Naruto explained. "Er... would you like to? I think it would be nice having you around."

"Sure, I'd love to, actually!" Sakura said. "What time should I be there? Your house, right?"

"Umm... we're beginning the party around 7," said Naruto, "you think you can make it?"

"Sure! That sounds fine," said Sakura. "I'll bring brownies or something!"

"That sounds nice," Haku said pleasantly.

"Sure, go ahead," said Naruto. "So, I'll see you there?"

"Yeah! See you then!" she said, and walked off to go speak with somebody.

"Ah, that's gonna be fun," Sasuke said.

"What was up with you and her, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "I had no idea you knew her better. I mean, she lives in the area and all-"

"She's my ex-girlfriend," Sasuke said, in an almost nostalgic way, a slight smile on his face.

"Woah, woah, what??" Naruto said. "Okay, I wasn't expecting this!"

"Ah, we broke up about two years ago," he sighed, still smiling. "Sure was an interesting time..."

"You sound almost happy about it," Zabuza noted. Sasuke didn't reply, just smiling and looking off into the distance.

"So, why the heck are you bringing your ex to the party? Won't it be really uncomfortable?" Naruto said.

"Well, just because we aren't lovers doesn't mean we can't be friends," Sasuke said quietly, observing Sakura speaking animatedly with Lee and Hinata, before she began their way. Immediately, Naruto saw them.

"Bathroom, sorry," he stated, and was out of there as quick as he could.

"Hello, everyone! Oh, Haku, you look lovely," Hinata said, before she noticed something. "Say, where's Naruto?"

"Ill-timed bathroom break, I suppose," Haku said, shrugging her shoulders. "He'll be back."

However, Naruto managed to avoid Hinata the entire reunion, leaving with Sasuke once the night was over; on the way back to his house, there was an uncomfortable silence between them. Sasuke wisely decided to leave him alone on the matter, but found he was thinking of his own past; even though he and Sakura were on good terms now, there had been a messy break-up between the two, and about a year-long period where neither of them could look at each other without feeling rageful or just a little angry, and he was sure that Naruto was feeling quite betrayed at the moment. When Naruto dropped him off at home, he was pretty sure it was the right thing to do, and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

-///-

The next morning was the day of the party, and Naruko came over early with Obito and Tobi to help cook the little meals and set up furniture and such. Naruto played some games with Tobi until Sasuke joined them, and they played some multiplayer FPS until Kyuubi called them all up for a small lunch, laughing at how much they resembled teenagers at their ages. The first to arrive were Haku and Zabuza, who were practically smothered by Kyuubi (she fawned over their daughter's photograph like she was some sort of child star, it was really very amusing). Being useful, Haku helped set out the newly-finished chips and dips until another ring of the doorbell signaled there was another guest at hand, while Zabuza helped grill some shrimp outside with Yondaime. Naruto opened the door, and smiled widely when he saw who it was.

"Kin!" he said, and they hugged. "Kimimaro, too! Nice to see you!

"Naruto! Dude, how's it been?" she asked, a grin on her face stretching to either ear. Kimimaro simply nodded and gave a peaceful smile, as usual.

"Great, Kin! Looks like you haven't changed much," he noted, seeing that her hair was still as long as ever, tied into a long braid that (astonishingly) fell to her ankles, and that a set of enormous headphones were slung around her neck, attached to some sort of portable device in her pocket.

"Sure hasn't, though I couldn't really say the same for me!" he said, which wasn't necessarily true; his white dreadlocks were quite long, gathered at the nape of his neck, uncovered by any sort of cap, and he wore a shirt that said "Flying Spaghetti Monster" on it, rather than the traditional African garb he wore through school. "May we come in?"

"Sure, take off your shoes," Naruto said. "Hey, everyone! Kin 'n Kimimaro are here!"

"Yo!" Kin announced, striding into the living room.

"Hello, Kin!" Haku said cheerfully, and the two of them hugged while Kimimaro wandered into the kitchen to help; Haku and Kin emailed each other regularly, and Kin even went to visit them while she was in college. "It's really good to see you."

"Yes, you too!" said Kin. "Sasuke, hey there!"

"Hey, Kin," Sasuke said.

"Have a seat, what've you been up to?" Naruto asked.

"Music," she said. "Working for a record company, it's really nifty, I love it. But that's nothing compared to you, Mr. Editor-of-Game-Infarcer."

"Wait, wait, you _read_ that?" Naruto said, rather shocked.

"Well, DUH!" Kin said, laughing as she poked him in the chest. "Monthly!"

"Wow, I never knew!" Naruto laughed.

"Nice stuff you got goin' on in there," she said. "Really nice, your writing's improved a ton since I last remember."

"Yeah, it has!" Naruto said. "Kimi, where are you?"

"In the kitchen," his voice said. "What is it?"

"What've _you_ been up to?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing much," he replied.

"He's been doing charity work," Kin explained, plopping on the couch. "Raising awareness for cancer, so nobody else would have to go through what he did. You know, when he was in middle school? He told you once, I think."  
Naruto thought deeply, and vaguely remembered the day he had asked Kimimaro about his past; as a child, he suffered from bone cancer, and was able to go into remission in his later years of middle school. The experience had greatly changed his outlook on life, causing the peaceful attitude and love of rasta that now made up the personality of the current Kimimaro. "Hmm, hmm, yeah, I think I do," he said.  
"Wow, that's pretty cool."

Another ring of the doorbell signaled the arrival of more guests, and Naruto broke out of his thoughts, and opened the door to see...

"Tayuya! Hey!" he said cheerily, and the woman with vidid-red hair (definately not as shocking as the violent shade of pink from her high school days, and not defying gravity with mountains of hair gel) grinned back.

"What up!" she said. "Where's the party at?"

"Ridey-ho!" Kin said randomly, and Sasuke stared at her somewhat confusedly.

"Kin!" Tayuya cheered, running into the living room, her shoes still on.

"Well, I don't suppose you'll be wanting to take off your shoes!" Naruto called after her, as the women began chatting animatedly.

"Screw you!" Tayuya said playfully, kicking them off her feet in Naruto's direction. "Who else is coming? Kisa? Dei?"

"Umm... pretty much the entire gang," explained Naruto, gathering the shoes with a chuckle and placing them by the door.

"Rock!" Tayuya said, flopping down on the couch and stretching out her arms in one uniform motion. Kin tossed a pillow in her direction, and had it returned rather strongly, knocking her into Sasuke's lap; needless to say, both of them were surprised.

"Tayuya!" she cried, rolling off the couch and laughing; Sasuke was frozen, not quite sure what to do. "Cut it out!"

"It's good to see you again, Tayuya," Haku said pleasantly, over Tayuya's coarse laughter; that hadn't changed at all.

"Yeah, you too," Tayuya replied. "And Zabuza? Where's he at?"

"Helping with the grill," Haku replied pleasantly. "What have you been up to?"

"Well, being a mom, pretty much," she replied, and Naruto re-entered the room. "Got me a seat in an orchestra but, eh, that's not as fun."

"I was wondering about that; what's up with that?" he asked. "You settle down and get married or somethin'?"

"Hell no!" Tayuya replied, glancing in his direction. "Let's just say that my little girl's the result of... carnal passions, and losing oneself in the moment."

"Basically saying, you had a one-night stand," Sasuke translated.

"Bingo," Tayuya replied. "Best thing that ever happened to me, I tell ya. Both the sex _and_ the baby, and I couldn't have picked a better guy to be the father!"

"Who is it?" Naruto asked, somewhat amused by her frank, colorful language; it had been a long time since he had spoken with her. "That is, you know who it is?"

"'course I do! How else would I get child support?" Tayuya laughed. "Kidoumaru Toumon, that's her daddy. And boy, am I lucky for that."

"You're _kidding!_" Naruto said, in unison with a few others; in the years following high school, Kidoumaru had become a college, then professional basketball star, becoming practically a household name. "How come I've never heard about it?"

"Because he decided to keep quiet, how else?" Tayuya replied. "Didn't want to make a fuss, cos that's horrible shit to get into. When I told him, he just went 'Ah, I always wanted a kid,' and that was that." She began to laugh, and adjusted herself in the seat. "Good dad, he is. Pays his child support and comes to visit all the time, she just loves it."

"Your daughter?" Haku asked, and Tayuya nodded in reply. "What's her name?"

"Fubuki, he decided on it," she replied. "Sweetest thing, I bet I have a picture somewhere... doubt you've seen her in any magazines, though who knows?"

Triumphantly, she held up a photograph of a young, tan-skinned girl, with pink hair done up in thick cornrows, gathered into pigtails at the mid of her head.

"Here we go!" she said, and handed the photograph to Kin. "Now, what do we have here to drink? I'm in the mood for something good."

"There's some beer in the kitchen," Haku said helpfully, pointing in that direction.

"Then beer is what I'm havin'," Tayuyua declared, and marched off in her crusade for alcohol as the doorbell rang again; she began to speak rather loudly with Kimimaro, causing a bit of laughter. Naruto ran to get it, and saw a very familiar, sleepy-looking face.

"Ukon!" he cried, a giant smile on his face. "Glad you could make it!"

"Me as well," he replied, his voice as weary and soft as always. "Believe me, it was hell getting time off for this."

"Why? What are you doing, now?" Naruto asked, as he took off his shoes.

"Ironically, I'm a doctor; how's that for fate dealing strange things towards you?" he said, chuckling gently. "I know you're surprised."

"As hell," Naruto replied. "Isn't it kind of problematic, considering-"

"I'm a bit more hardy, thanks very much," Ukon smiled. "Ah, so I see Kin and Haku have already arrived."

"Tayuya and Kimimaro too, hey there!" Kin called, waving her hand from her spot on the floor next to the coffee table. Ukon waved in return. "How's your brother?"

"Sakon? Mm, last I heard, he was somewhere in Japan, I think," Ukon replied.

"What's he doing in Japan?" Naruto asked curiously, joining them.

"Seems he's making quite a bundle on cosplay outfits... research, maybe?" Ukon replied.

"Cosplay? That's... interesting," said Naruto. "He's into anime now?"

"It's a recent thing, but he's enjoying it. I suppose it's Ino's doing," Ukon chuckled, sinking into a large chair with a contented sigh.

"Ino?" said Tayuya, stomping in with a beer in hand, and sitting on the arm of the chair that Ukon resided in. "What about Ino?"

"Oh, it's a long story," Ukon said. "Maybe I should wait until everyone else arrives, perhaps Deidara could tell it better. After all, they've kept in touch awfully well recently."

"Mm..." said Tayuya, and took a sip of her beer, then offering it to Ukon. "Want a sip, Ukki?"

"No thanks," Ukon said politely, waving his hand in rejection. "I don't do well with alcohol."

Tayuya laughed a little, and another ring of the doorbell sounded, with Kisame entering rather loudly and cheerfully, an extensively large plate of sushi at hand. He explained that Itachi couldn't come, to which Sasuke and Obito weren't too surprised over, before depositing the sushi in the kitchen. The sounds of light bickering outside hinted that Kisame wasn't alone, and everyone was surprised to find Deidara and Sasori in tow, trucking what appeared to be... a baby seat?

"Hey, everyone!" Sasori called. "Party started?"

"Sure have, nice to see you made it!" Naruto said, not getting up to greet them. "Carpool?"

"Yeah, un," Deidara said, lifting the baby seat a bit higher and gingerly placing it next to the couch. "Shh, be a little quieter-- Yugito's sleeping."

"Yugito?" Naruto echoed, but was interrupted by Kin.

"Deidara!" she said joyfully. "Is that what I think it is?" She leaned over and peered into the seat, to see a very small baby with pale hair, sleeping under a white blanket with purple kittens on it.

"Yep," Sasori began. "Yugito, the newest member of the Akasuna fami- woah!"

"Wow, she's so damn cute!!" Tayuya squealed, knocking the small-framed man over in order to see his daughter better. "Sasori, I didn't know you had it in you."

He scowled in her direction and collected himself. "That was somewhat uncalled-for," he said poisonously. "We had a hard time having her, you know."

"Tried and failed for several years, mm," Deidara said matter-of-factly, gazing affectionately at her baby. "Then it just kinda happened unexpectedly. Somewhat of a surprise, mhm."

"I thought it was kind of unfair," Sasori said, leaning against the couch and sighing. "After practically being _raped_ every night, it just took one night in a hotel."

"God, haven't you guys got any shame?" Sasuke asked, his face growing slightly pink, propping his arms against the top of the couch. "There's kids in the room!"

"Only one, and she's too little to understand a damn word, dontcha?" Tayuya said, a slight giggle in her voice.

"Well, what about Tobi?" Sasuke retorted. "Wait... where is he? Oh, GOD! Don't tell me Obito lost track of him again..."

"He's with me!" Naruko called from the kitchen, and Sasuke breathed a massive sigh of relief.

"Sasuke, loosen up!" Kin said, playfully stroking his leg; opposingly, Sasuke tensed up like a cat spooked at his reflection.

"Anyways, mm, you don't mind that we brought Yugi with us, do you?" Deidara asked Naruto, and he shook his head. "Ah, okay. I'll just leave her here until she needs anything." She took a seat on the couch and clung to a pillow, curled up against a corner, while Sasori continued to stand.

"Where's the 'man'?" Haku asked out of curiousity, a relatively random question.

"My what?" Deidara replied. "You mean Sasori?

"No, no, I mean," Haku laughed, "you used to say 'man' with everything, at least that's how I remember. It's gone, I noticed."

"Not really, mm," Deidara said, a slight hum sounding at the end of her sentence. "Speech patterns don't change much, I guess... Hmm..." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, and Zabuza and Kisame rejoined them as the doorbell rang once more; Kimimaro stayed in the kitchen still, teaching Tobi how to identify various fruits as he artfully arranged some them on a platter.

"I'll get it," Sasuke said, knowing that there were only two different possibilities of guests arriving at that moment, and he wanted to spare Naruto the embarassment of freezing under pressure in Hinata's presence. Unfortunately, the fate of things wasn't all that he had hoped for that day.

Both Sakura and Hinata, along with Lee, were at the door, bearing plates of marshmallow-rice squares and brownies.

"Sasuke, how nice to see you," Hinata said pleasantly. "I hope we're not too late."

"Not at all, come on in," Sasuke replied. "Sakura, Lee, nice to see you. Did you carpool?"

"Yeah, my car's in the shop," Sakura replied, laughing a little. "I brought brownies, see?"

"I sure do, you can put them in the kitchen," said Sasuke, and closed the door as Lee and Sakura made their way in the general direction of the eatery. Hinata hadn't yet removed her shoes, when Sasuke observed that Naruto was uneasily shifting in his seat, looking for an opportunity to make a break for it. He was going to say something, when Hinata acted first.

"Naruto, would you mind helping me get something out of the car?" she asked. "I'd really appreciate it."

"Uhh... sure," Naruto replied uneasily, and Sasuke glanced at her; what was she going to do? With a wink, she assured that she knew what she was doing, and the two exited.

Hinata led him to the car, but didn't open any doors or trunk, and it had him confused.

"What do you need help with?" he asked.

"Nothing; it's you that needs the help, I think," she said gently. "Naruto, you've been avoiding me like the plague since the grocery store. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Erh... no, nothing's wrong, I mean... I guess, er..." he stuttered, completely unable to piece a legible sentence together. Hinata smiled sadly, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Naruto, are you upset over me and Lee?" she asked, and Naruto shook his head nervously.

"No! No, not at all, I'm really happy for you two!" he replied. "It's just... I dunno, it was kinda unexpected. I mean... gosh, we haven't heard from each other in so long, and..." He stared at the driveway, and Hinata gently caressed his cheek.

"I suppose you feel like you've missed out on something," she said. "Believe me, Naruto, I work with middle-schoolers every day; I can read your body language from a mile away. It just reeks of disappointment." She removed her hand and clasped them together at her front.  
"I admit, I did too..."

Naruto looked at her in mild confusion; the fact that Hinata was analyzing him like that was one thing, but it was another that she was talking to him like that, so frankly. "Mistakes?" he said.

"When I was in high school, I was too shy to even say more than three things to a person," she said, and laughed a little. "Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but still-- I couldn't work up the courage to do anything, you know, _worthwhile_. I admit, Naruto, that I liked you; I valued our friendship, and I still do, but I suppose I wanted it to become something more." She sighed and wrapped her fingers around each other a little. "I'm the one at fault for not taking the first step towards saying 'I like you,' or 'Would you like to go out?' And, I suppose, you're also a bit to blame as well; you were about as perceptive as a broken telescope back then."

"What?" Naruto said, finding he was laughing in spite of himself at the unusual metaphor.

"You didn't pay any attention to me, so I never took any steps towards making anything we had _serious_," she said softly. "So, when we left high school, and I found somebody who was interested in me as a _lover_, then, well... it was a different matter entirely."

"Wait, that's not true," Naruto said, becoming slightly angered. "We were together all the time! I remember that!"

"That's true, I never said we weren't!" Hinata replied, raising her hands slightly, defensively. "In actuality, Naruto, I value the friendship we shared more than any serious relationship we _could_ have had. You're the reason I'm so happy with myself now, and I don't know what I'd be doing now if we had never met."

"I don't think I understand," Naruto said, and Hinata laughed.

"There you go again," she said. "You're really not that experienced when it comes to human behavior, I guess. Naruto, you were so supportive and kind to me, and I remember that day at the culture fest when you stood up to my cousin for sounding so..." She began to laugh, her memory travelling to the day Naruto got mad at Neji for simply saying she had dinner duty that night, those near-14 years ago.

"It was those things that encouraged me to be more comfortable with myself. If I didn't have you, I'd probably... st-still be st-stuttering... like this..."

The painfully familiar manner of speech hit Naruto, and a ghost of a smile appeared on bemused face.

"If I wasn't the person I am now, I never would have found Lee, and this happiness," she said, a happy smile glowing on her face. "Naruto, I'm so grateful to you, and I'm sorry we could never have done anything serious. I'm sure, though, that we would have had a lot of fun."

"...yeah, me too," Naruto admitted. "I'm happy that you're happy, Hinata. It... it feels a lot better that, you know... I got some things cleared up, or whatever. Dunno why I was avoiding you, though... it's... complicated, I guess. I don't really know how to explain it."

Hinata laughed, and gave him a warm hug; somewhat astonished, it took him some time to return it.

"Relationships are complicated things, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it someday," she said, her voice sounding somewhere on his shoulder. "You'll find somebody, one of these days. In fact..." She left the embrace, and began up the driveway again; Naruto followed her, mildly confused. "...I think somebody in that house would be absolutely delighted if you asked her out on a date," she concluded, peering in the glass of the door.

"Huh? What are you talking about? Who?" said Naruto.

"Sakura, I think she likes you," Hinata said, pointing at her; she was talking with Kisame, a sunny smile on her face. "Maybe you two have a chance."

"Her! I barely know her," Naruto laughed. "You gotta be crazy, Hinata."

Hinata chuckled. "Just trust me on this; you two are more alike than you think. I'll even help you, if you want."

"Like I'd want help from you!" Naruto said, a tone of all-serious annoyance appearing briefly in his voice, and Hinata laughed, opening the door.

"Just give it a try, or I'm going to have to do it for you," she warned, and pushed him along playfully. A bit sheepishly, Naruto took off his shoes and rejoined everyone in the living room, before he noticed something.

"Hey, where's Sasuke?" he asked, finding that his dark-haired friend was nowhere to be found. Tayuya burst into a fit of laughter, prompting a very confused face on Naruto's behalf. "What's going on?"

"He went upstairs," Sakura reported.

"Upstairs?" Naruto echoed.

"With _Kin_," Haku added, with a mischevious laugh. "Goodness knows what they're doing."

"...you have _got_ to be kidding me," Naruto said, the image alone causing a minor implosion of the brain.

"No lie!" Deidara assured, and Naruto began to laugh, slowly inching himself in Sakura's direction.

"Woah, well, I'd like to see what comes of this," he said, and cleared his throat. "Um, er, Sakura?"

"Yeah?" she said, turning in his direction with an almost flirty gesture. Hinata silently cheered for him in her head. Go for it, she thought!

"I was wondering, I was thinking of going out drinking with Sasuke tomorrow night, and, um," he stuttered, "would you like to come too?"

"Sure! I don't see why not," Sakura said. "Are you paying?"

"Er... I... don't know, which-" he began, but Sakura's laughter caused him to stop.

"It's okay, I'll pay for my own drinks," she giggled. "Of course, if you're bringing me along, then Sasuke should ask Kin, and we'll make it a double-date."

"...I don't even think they're dating," Naruto said, slightly disgusted, and everyone laughed.

Of course, when Sasuke and Kin emerged from upstairs some time later, red-faced and rough-haired, there was a great deal of cat-calling and wolf whistles; whether they wanted to or not, a relatively long-term relationship was bound to occur as a result.

-///-

"...I mean, they went to a French con or something for their wedding and honeymoon, mm," Deidara finished. "Got married as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask! If I can't say, they're such an odd couple, but I've never seen anyone happier, mm."

The night had gone on, and Deidara was reporting the news of Ino's marriage to, of all people, Chouji Akimichi; they had met online while in college, and met in real life after courting for a few years. Needless to say, upon discovering their true identities, both of them were surprised. Unfazed by this revelation, however, they were quickly wed, and had two children already. The union was positive for the both of them; Ino encouraged Chouji to lose weight, which he did, and Chouji introduced both the marvelous French cuisine that his father had taught him, and the wonderful world of anime and manga into Ino's life.

"Even take the kids to conventions and everything, mm," said Deidara. "Sakon does all their costumes."

"Aww, that's so cute!" Kin said; by this point, she and Sasuke were warmly cuddling on the couch, and it was rather hard to tell whether or not this was due to the alcohol or not. "What are their names, again?"

"Choko, and Inoji," Deidara said with a smile. "Cute 'uns, aren't they?"

Nods of approval abounded.

"Hey, Naruto! I found this in the attic, check it out!" Naruko said, coming out of the kitchen, brandishing a large, black book.

"The yearbook! Gimme that!" Naruto said, swiping it from her hands and opening it to a random page as he held it in his lap; in a large color photograph, the infamous photo that Deidara took following the food fight stared them in the face.

"Ah, so it's my freshmen one," Naruto said softly.

"Well, duh, I was looking for that one," Naruko replied, leaning over her brother's shoulder. "Figured it would have the most memories in it."

"Man, I remember that..." Kimimaro said fondly. "What a fun day, what else is in there?"

"Let's take a look, here!" Lee said, who was seated between Naruto and Hinata; he reached over and turned to another page. "Ah, look! Halloween!"

"Damn, I look so young," said Tayuya, observing the picture of her and Hamelin, where she was flipping off the camera and scowling.  
"What a great time."

Naruto laid the open book on the coffee table, and everyone congregated about it, as another page was turned to. Each photograph seemed to hold a memory for each of them, and they found themselves retelling the stories to each other. With each page turned, another tale was told.

_"Do you remember that time, when...?"_

- TO BE CONTINUED... -

- Authors Notes -  
Ha! Got you all right there, didn't I?

As of 2:08 AM, on October 21, the epilogue I fully intended on posting for Konoha High is completed.  
I started work on this the day after I posted the "final" chapter, and I'm sorry it took so damn long.

I guess it's apt that it took summer break to finish this small masterpiece of an epilogue. The first arc of Konoha High ends, and another begins as school does.

Believe it or not, I'm actually going to start working on the next series of chapters _very, very soon_.

Yes, there are going to be more. :) They'll allow me to give more love to the lesser characters of the series, like Dosu and Zaku, Zetsu, and Kabuto, and give you more insight on what I was thinking as I wrote them.  
As for the requests, I'm very grateful to all of you for them. I'm so happy that all of you wanted to let me know what _you_ want to read, as a fan. If I use one, I'll be sure to say in the Author's Notes of the chapter. :D I don't think that the one-shot idea is worth it, but I love all the things you have to say. I'm so amazed that so many of you wanted a Talent Show, when I already had it written!

If you ever have any suggestions, please, don't hesitate to write; I adore mail. :D

I suppose I can take this space for thank-yous and whatnot.  
To Donella; my muse, and the "papa" of this project, I have infinate thanks to you for giving me this idea and drawing all those great things that gave me inspiration when I was stuck. So much love to you!

To Dragon Man, for being so darn enthusiastic about sticking the smallest of cameos in. Folks like you make fanfiction the lovely little creature of delight that it is.

To all my friends that sat and dealt with my ramblings as I wrote chapters, I love you guys! XD

And, most importantly, to all my fans--  
Every single review and email I receive makes all the late nights and revisions and self-criticism worth it. I'm so honored that you enjoy this little piece of myself out there on the internet, and I never could have imagined it gaining such popularity (300 reviews?? I only DREAM of such things!) To have Konoha High even be _considered_ one of the best High School AU's out on was little more than a fat chance in my mind as I began on chapter 1, and now, the reviews speak for themselves. Thank you all, so much! Words cannot express how grateful I am to you all.

Well, I've blabbed enough; it's 2:25, and I really need to get to bed.

That being said, my darling readers--

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the second year of Konoha High.

- Rii


	22. File 01: Sasuke Uchiha

Konoha High  
Personal File 1  
- Sasuke -

Of all the things he hated, Sasuke had reserved a special place of loathing in his heart for mornings.

He was tired, he was grumpy, his hair looked like crap, and worst of all, he had to go to school.

Except on weekends, but those didn't really count; he typically woke up in the late afternoon on Saturdays and Sundays, so they couldn't really count as mornings.

This morning was nothing special; his mom slipped into the room and gently nudged his shoulder, her soft voice serving as his alarm clock.

"Sasuke, it's time to get up, sweet," she said, her voice smooth and pleasing to anyone else who might have been present, but it might as well have been a billion claxon horns sounding at the same time. Sasuke curled his back and turned in the opposite direction, moaning softly.

"Idunwannagedup..." he grumbled, pulling the blankets a little higher.

"It's 6:15, Sasuke, you have to go shower," she replied evenly, turning on his bedside lamp and folding back a little of the comforter. "I'm making waffles for breakfast, so be down quickly, or you won't get any."

Keeping the door open, his mother left the room, and Sasuke hesitantly sat up and rubbed his eyes, blinking somewhat stupidly in the half-light. Yawning, he slid his feet over the side of the bed and made his way down the hall and into the bathroom. He stared into the mirror for a few seconds at his reflection, blurry from his lack of glasses; his black hair was sticking out in every direction imaginable, his pajamas (blue boxers and a white shirt, the same as every night) wrinkled with sleep.

"Look at you," he told himself, staring deeply into the mirror, until his brown eyes came into focus. "Another morning, another wasted day. Why do you keep doing this? It's no use."

Since his reflection couldn't really say anything in reply, he sighed and turned on the shower.

10 minutes later, he exited the bathroom, his hair blown dry and a towel wrapped around his waist. Layering two nondescript black and grey shirts, and donning a pair of jeans, he put on his glasses and galumphed down the stairs, where the scent of waffles and his family were waiting.

"Good morning, Sasuke," his mother said pleasantly, pouring a cup of coffee for his father, who was reading the business section of the paper. "Waffle?"

Sasuke shrugged in recognition and sat at the table, as his mother served him a waffle. Scowling a little at the offending pastry, he searched for the maple syrup and found it across the table... where Itachi sat. Sighing, Sasuke crossed his arms in an attempt to look more dissatisfied.

"Itachi, pass the syrup," he said.

"Get it yourself," Itachi replied, not even looking at him. Resisting the urge to whine, Sasuke grumbled and reached across the table to get it, and promptly began to douse his waffle in the sweet liquid. He began to eat, when his father quietly cleared his throat and folded his paper; this was usually a bad sign. Sasuke shoved some waffle in his mouth and tried his best to avoid any sort of situation.

"Sasuke, is there something the matter?" his father asked, although his face was as apathetic as Itachi's as he reached for his coffee.

"No," he replied, as tersely as one could with a mouth stuffed full of waffle.

"You were making a racket last night," Itachi said softly, reaching for his orange juice and taking a sip. "You weren't mas-"

"I wasn't doing anything!" Sasuke interjected, banging his fork against the table. His father raised an eyebrow and calmly sipped his coffee in near-sync with Itachi, while his mother went to put away the milk. There was a very uncomfortable silence as Sasuke continued to eat his waffle; in truth, he had had a nightmare that night, but was he really making that much noise? Coughing slightly, he drained his breakfast with some water and stomped upstairs to get his backpack. When he returned, Itachi was ready to head to the bus stop with him, bag slung over his shoulder. As Sasuke laced up his black converse, indifferently, as usual, his mother stood above him, somewhat worriedly.

"Sasuke, if there's anything you need to tell us, don't hesitate," she said softly. "If you've got some relationship problems at school..."

"I said it's nothing!" Sasuke said angrily. "I'm going to the bus stop!"

Slamming the door behind him, Sasuke began his way down the road.

"I honestly don't know what's wrong with him," Mikoto said, as Itachi slipped on his own shoes. "Itachi, could you see if there's..."

"Let him be, he's just a kid," Itachi replied, and kissed his mother on the cheek. "Love you, mom, see you when I get home."

"Goodbye, Itachi," she replied, and watched as he made his way to the bus stop, where Sasuke was waiting already.

"Why don't you drive anywhere, anyways? You're 18, after all," Sasuke grumbled, folding his arms to keep himself a little warmer.

"I don't feel like it," Itachi replied simply, and said no more until the bus arrived.

-///-

Entering the building, a little chilly from the raw spring morning, Sasuke shuffled to the Science room to the sounds of Abandoned Pools, and heard laughter.

It was Naruto, but that wasn't very surprising. He was talking to the weird girly-boy, Haku, and the super-shy-girl (whatever her name was) was nervously watching on. He passed and gave a look of disdane, but really, he wished he could be there, knowing what they were talking about, and laughing with them.

"Hey, what're you lookin' at, emo-boy?" Naruto asked, noticing Sasuke sulking nearby, watching them.

"Whatever," Sasuke replied, sitting at his seat and opening his journal. Naruto began to laugh again; he was probably making a joke about him, and it hurt a little to know that. Uncapping his cheap, blue ballpoint, he began to write.

_Dear Diary,  
Well, I'm in Science class. The day's already beginning to suck._

_I had a nightmare that HE was with me again. I was so scared. Itachi thought I was jacking off, it was so embarassing._

_Why the hell doesn't he drive anywhere? That way I don't have to be on the same bus with him every freaking morning._

_Naruto's making fun of me again. It hurts. I just want him to stop, it would be better if he was laughing at something else._

_Or if I was laughing with him._

He scribbled out the last line and glared at it. What a stupid thought!! Naruto would never even acknowledge a person like him, much less be a friend.

He doodled a heart cracked in half, and as Mr. Hatake came in the door, added drops of blue blood, dripping from it and onto the lines below. He continued to doodle on in this manner, until he was broken from his trance

"Oy, Emo-puss, we're on page 539," Gaara said, and a few people giggled. Sasuke glared at the goth and opened his book, as Mr. Hatake admonished the people that had laughed.

"I knew that," he said defensively, and found himself listening to the lecture and absently drawing in his journal again.

The bell rang, and he gathered his things and headed to his next hour class.  
The classes passed uneventfully, as he listened with mild interest to the lessons and did homework, adding to his journal the various morbid thoughts he encountered while his mind wandered. But there was an unease in his stomach as his fourth hour approached, because it was there that the source of much of his current suffering and anxiety originated.

Meandering to the choir room and grabbing his folder, Sasuke uncomfortably took a seat in the front row with the rest of the tenors, glancing around in worry.

And then, he heard the deep, frightening voice that so often haunted his thoughts, both in night and day.

"Ah, Sasuke! Good morning, are you well?"

Mr. Orochi was standing in front of him, a pleased look on his pale, serpentine face. Sasuke avoided his gaze as best he could.

"I'm doing okay, Mr. Orochi," he replied.

"Oh? You don't look so well, my boy," he replied, putting a hand on his shoulder; the white skin was cold and clammy, as usual, and Sasuke shivered. "Did you not get enough sleep last night?"  
"...no. I stayed up too late," Sasuke lied, still looking at the floor.

"Ah-ah-ah, you shouldn't do that," reprimanded Mr. Orochi. "It's bad for the voice... as well as other things."  
The tone that lurked in the final words of his sentence made Sasuke want to scream, and run as far as he could away from _there_, but he contained himself and remained in his seat. "We need to begin class, Mr. Orochi," he said tersely, still gazing at his feet.

"Ah, so we must," Mr. Orochi said smoothly, and let go of Sasuke's shoulder. As he crossed to the piano to begin warming up the men's choir, Sasuke held his shoulder and shivered; every time that man touched him, no matter when, made him feel uneasy.  
Especially after all that had been done to him.

Sasuke had experienced things that a boy his age should never experience, and on those frightening weekends at the choir teacher's house in the past few months, he would come home and lock himself in his room for hours, just crying and trying to forget. But every day, that man, no, that _freak_ was there to frighten him into submission, and not allow such a thing to happen.

And, needless to say, it was breaking him down.

He emotionlessly sang throughout the hour, trying to drown out his thoughts with memories of a happier time, when he was little. Itachi was nice, back then; he would take Sasuke to the park, and they'd play on the swings together. When did he become such a pill? Sasuke thought. It seemed that Itachi just didn't care about anything but himself, lately, and it was hard to imagine him being any other way, and even harder to remember when he was any different.

He remembered how Itachi used to smile. He hadn't seen him smile in ages.

Thinking about it, Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he himself had truly smiled over anything. Even his last birthday, he was angry and unappreciative, unemotionally opening his gifts and spending the day in his room. Nothing seemed to make him truly happy; what was there to be happy for? His life was so bad, he thought, that he didn't deserve happy things, and that what he was suffering was his punishment.  
But oh, how he wanted to be free of all of it.

The class mercifully ended, and he quickly left for his next hour, fighting the urge to vomit. He excused himself during worktime to use the bathroom, where he sat on a toilet and thought for a good, long while, before returning to the autonomy that was classes.

And then, there was lunch, which was almost as bad as choir.  
It was because he always saw Naruto and his idiot friends at lunch. And for some reason, they always had to be laughing when he was around.

Why the hell.

Why should they be happy, when he wasn't? What was so damn special about their lives that he couldn't have?  
It just wasn't fair.

He sat, alone, and took out his journal again, writing down those thoughts, and looking at him through the thick lenses of his glasses.

_How I wish I could be you._

He scratched out the line with disgust. Another impossible dream.

He was accepted. Yeah, sure he was. Girls everywhere acting like buffoons in front of him, vying for his attention.

But he didn't care for any of it. It was... an empty sort of worship, like they were falling in love with an image, rather than a person.

_I hate posers._

Again, the line was scratched out.

Isn't that what I am? Sasuke thought. I'm nothing but a fake. There's nothing interesting about me, nobody likes me for whatever I have.

Not feeling any better, Sasuke dumped the remains of his lunch in the garbage and shuffled to his final hour, allowing it to pass without incident, and finally gathering his things and boarding the bus. He watched Kisame speaking to his older brother, who was standing aside with the least bit of care on his face, and laughed bitterly. At least Itachi had friends. Four, to be exact. They were all so stupid, and yet he put up with them.

Sasuke wished, for the briefest of moments, that he was his brother.

But the thought disgusted him so much, he quickly took it back.

But still, Itachi, with his four friends... he got phone calls and emails from them so many times, and they were always talking at school. Even if it was boring, they talked.

And the strangest thing of all was that they enjoyed it. Or, at the very least, they seemed to.

Sasuke yearned for a small while, as Itachi boarded the bus and took a seat far away from him, for at least one person that would listen to him, and that he would listen to, no matter how idiotic either of them sounded.

Naruto immediately came to mind.

Sasuke very nearly hit himself in the head in punishment.

Dream on, you loser, he thought. What would you want him as a friend for? That kid's a spazz. He's annoying, and overly cheerful, and rude, and totally stupid, and...

...and probably a really nice person.

He drowned out his mind with music, and tried to think no more of the matter.

-///-

Upon arriving home, he stomped upstairs and flopped on the bed, despite his mother's warm welcome, and began to cry softly.

Just one friend.

A thing that everyone had, but he couldn't have. A source of happiness, a light in the darkness.

But life, for him, was a black abyss, for which there was no light.

And for which, he felt, he would never have.

As he fell asleep, one thought lingered in his mind.

_Let me talk to you, and I will listen. That is all I ask. I want to be your..._

Too large a request to make, he thought, and slipped into unconciousness until dinner.

-///-

_Pain Without End  
The Serpent Holds Me Captive  
I Long To Be Free_

File no. 1: Sasuke  
- End -

Upcoming file  
- Sakura Haruno


	23. File 02: Sakura Haruno

Konoha High  
Personal File 2  
- Sakura -

Sakura Haruno was a real nerd, with a passion for bunnies and all that was cute and fluffy.

At least in her room.

She loved to pretend, even at her age, that she was a princess, and the abundance of unicorn and fairy dolls made it a fairly easy concept to grasp; the large glass bookcase that took up nearly one entire wall was a pretty fair indicator of her bookishness, as well.

That was one of the reasons she never let Ino into her room anymore.

It was a very humiliating experience, when the older girl announced with disdane that they were "disgusting things," and that she "didn't want to see them," while she was over for the first time.

"You read books? Why the hell?" she had said, flipping through a beloved copy of _Matilda_ that Sakura had paged through many times as a little girl, in a gesture of irony so painful, Sakura would have burst out in anger, had she not held so much respect for Ino. "Nothin' in these things that's not better than on the TV. Waste of time."

Sakura more than happily complied by keeping her outings with Ino in the mall or at Ino's own house, and shielding her own collection of interests from Ino's criticizing eyes.

-///-

It really hurt to be judged like that, Sakura felt, but the poor girl was rather inexperienced when it came to the proper treatment of social behaviors.

Originally, she had been homeschooled, and only had contact with the kids around her neighborhood. It was only in 7th grade that she began attending a public school, and she quickly learned the most basic of social orders, if not a rather warped version, due to her naievity. She had been teased for her long, stringy hair, and her love of reading, and was quick to conform to the social tastes, as she had no idea what else to do; she commanded that her hair be styled when she entered 8th grade, and bought a practically new wardrobe to match the current fashions.

Her appetite for books, however, remained as voracious as ever, if only a secret pursuit. The thought of being seen in the library by "somebody important," was a mortifying thought to her, despite the fact that hardly anyone "important" would even set foot in one. The girl eagerly anticipated each visit, and would curl up and become absorbed in the books she retreived as soon as humanly possible.

It was in this manner that Sakura rose to become one of the most popular girls in her grade, always on top of the latest fashions and culture.

And then, shen entered high school, and everything changed.

She went, practically overnight, from the top of the world, to the bottom of the food chain.

She was the lowest of the low, a freshman, and she didn't understand it all.

Even though among the other freshmen she was in relatively good standings, she yearned for acknowledgement amongst the upperclassmen, but found they were less than willing to give it. Following her impressions of high school culture, based on various movies she had seen, she decided to try out for the cheerleading team, and practically humiliated herself when Ten Ten, captain of the squad, tried to gently let her know that she wasn't the sort of material they were looking for.

While Ten Ten, kind person that she was, saw an awkward young girl trying to fit in, Ino saw the perfect opportunity to gain a slave.

Feigning generosity, Ino invited Sakura to her house, where she was more than happy to lend her some of the clothes that no longer fit her. She also allowed Sakura the "privilege" of sitting with her at lunch, exposing her to some of the "higher-ups," who declared she was "cute," and could hang out with them a little more. Sakura was positively thrilled at this news. Through little gifts in this manner, Ino was slowly able to create an imaginary debt around Sakura, which she used to influence Sakura to do menial tasks and the like. Sakura didn't mind, for she was overjoyed with simply being acknowledged as "popular" again.

Things went on like this, in a generally benign manner, until Sakura made the fatal mistake of showing the slightest amount of independence.

It had happened a few weeks after school began, not long after Ino had made her first trek into Sakura's room. Sakura was slightly giggly, which Sakon noticed, and asked her about.

"Oh! I'm just thinking about asking somebody to Homecoming," she said lightly, raising her shoulders in meekness. "You wanna know who it is?"

Ino took a moment to give Sakura a confused look as she sucked down some more of her Slim-Fast. "Who?" she asked.

"Sasuke Uchiha. I think he likes me!" Sakura said, and Sakon immediately became worried.

"Sakura, honey, I don't think you should," he said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Well, why not? He's a freshman like me, and I really think-" she began, but was stopped by Sakon's fingers over her mouth, and he subtly gestured in Ino's direction.

Ino was not pleased, and her eyes showed it as she poisonously sucked on the straw in the can.

"Stay away from Sasuke Uchiha," she said. "He's going with _me_ to the dance, and you can't do anything about it."

"But I haven't seen-" Sakura began again, and Ukon quickly grabbed her.

"Be right back!" he said cheerily, directing Sakura into the hallway and looking to see if Ino had followed them (she hadn't).

"What's going on?" Sakura asked. "I didn't know they were going out."

"They're not, at least, not yet," Sakon said. "Listen, Sakura, you need to know something about the Uchiha. Ino had, uh, some, uh... how should I say this... _troubles_ with the Uchiha about a year or so back."

"What sorts of troubles?" Sakura asked. "Sasuke's only a freshman, she can't have-"

"A year or so back, Ino had her eyes on Itachi, Sasuke's brother," Sakon interrupted. "You've seen him, he's the tall, handsome guy that sits a few tables over."

"Oh yeah... that's his brother?" replied Sakura, and Sakon nodded.

"They're a grade apart, and she saw nothing wrong with asking him out. And... she was rejected," he explained.

"Oohh... so, uh... she wants Sasuke, now?" Sakura said, beginning to understand.

"Yes, to some extent," Sakon said. "Now, don't repeat a word of this, but I think Ino wants to use Sasuke to get closer to Itachi."

"She still likes him??" said Sakura, mildly shocked, causing Sakon to shush her again.

"Keep it down! If she knew that you knew, then she'd give you hell on earth, honey," he said. "So, do you understand? Stay away from Sasuke, and you'll be out of trouble."

Sakura nodded. "All right," she said.

"That's a good girl," smiled Sakon. "Let's go."

The two of them returned to the table, where Ino had finished her drink. "Have a nice conversation, you two?"

"Definately," Sakura said, faking cheeriness. Ino smiled cruelly, but it looked warm on the surface.

The balance of power had been restored.

-///-

_O sweet little worm  
Though she promises greatness  
Beware the spider_

File no. 2: Sakura  
- End -

Upcoming file  
- Kakashi Hatake


	24. File 03: Kakashi Hatake

Konoha High  
Personal File 3  
- Kakashi -

Kakashi Hatake absolutely loved his job.

He enjoyed the scheduled feeling of it, so that he could plan what he wanted to get done later in the day, and he also loved working with high schoolers, and making them laugh. Being able to blow stuff up, with the excuse that it was "educational" wasn't too shabby, either.

His schedule was fairly simple, and fairly open; wake at 5, jog for a half-hour, work out for a half-hour, then shower, feed his dogs, and eat breakfast at 6. Leaving the house at 6:30, he'd arrive more or less around 7 AM, giving him plenty of time to get classes prepared. Usually, he felt he had more than enough time left after getting his things together, and would spend too much time work within the staff to arrive to class on time (which he became notoriously infamous for, among students, although none of them knew his reasons for tardiness). After classes, he'd sometimes do after-school tutoring to students that asked for it, and head home to grade homework. At least, that's what most people thought.

In actuality, he would return home to ensure his pets had their dinner, and after preparing himself, drive to the headquarters of the Special Investigations Unit.

For Kakashi Hatake was in truth a police officer, an undercover agent in a specialized squad that targeted predators, stalkers, and pedophiles.

He worked for Fugaku Uchiha under the codename "Fang," and was responsible for collecting data on Maro Orochi, a suspected pedophile, and finding evidence needed to convict him.

However, said evidence was proving extremely tricky to find.

Several searches of his house, both spontaneous and arranged, had been conducted over a period of several years, and despite reports by people claiming to be victims, nothing could be found that would even hint at the man being a sex offender, much less be a criminal at all; his record was spotless.

However, the two reports that were taken to the police against him were frightening accounts of abuse; one of them taking place nearly 20 years back, the other being a more recent accusation of only 2 years. Shortly after the report had been filed, Kakashi was sent to Konoha High School as a science teacher, to investigate amongst the students and teachers. Jiraiya, an old aquaintance of Orochi's, as well as a janitor at the school for well over 20 years, was a very reliable tipline, as well; he was quite instrumental in helping Kakashi and the team gather information, and point them in the right directions. Surprisingly, the vice principal, Tsunade, was proving to be helpful as well, if not somewhat reluctantly, in referring to names for the squad to investigate.

So far, he had a pretty good idea of whom Orochi's victims had been, and it was his fortune (or misfortune) that his current favorite, a boy named Sasuke, was in his class. Sasuke was the son of his superior, as well, so the investigation was going into full-swing, although Fugaku said nothing about it to the boy.

Plans were being made to formulate a sting operation, but so far, the evidence needed for permission was proving to be rather hard to find.

So, Kakashi got his own idea, while the men on the squad putzed around and created their plans.

What he needed was a direct confrontation with the suspect, and he was determined to get at least _something_ out of it, even if it meant doing something mildly illegal, but Kakashi was never one to worry about that sort of thing.

He arrived at school and proceeded through his classes normally, and went to the teacher's lounge after school. Guy was chatting animatedly with Asuma about something, who was nodding politely in return (but definately not paying attention). Orochi was getting his coat (a slim item in violet-grey that looked, disturbingly, like something out of the Women's Department), and Kakashi approached, as casually as possible (which was pretty damn casual, anyways).

"Hey, Maro!" he called. "Care for a quick stop at Starchild's or something?"

"Ah? That'd be wonderful, Kakashi, thank you for asking," he replied, flashing a smile. "Let me get my things. Your treat?"

"No, you pay for your own coffee," Kakashi replied, a bit of a smirk on his face; Orochi chuckled and finished putting on his coat, and they exited.

"I'll meet you there," he said, slipping into his car, and Kakashi nodded, getting in his own truck. The drive was short, and he quickly got out to order his coffee, and sit at a table with the suspect.

"My, it was very nice of you to invite me to share your afternoon, Kakashi," Orochi said, daintily scooping a piece of whipped cream off his smoothie with a pasty, white finger. "To what do I owe the occasion?"

"Oh, I just felt like asking for a little chat," Kakashi replied, and took a sip of his mug; he had ordered coffee, black. It was how he liked it, anyways. "Tell me, how have your choirs been?"

"Oh, they've just been wonderful," Orochi replied. "I'm especially proud of the boys choir; they've made such progress!"

"So I see," Kakashi said, nodding absently as he looked into his coffee.

"And how have your students been?" Orochi asked, and Kakashi looked up.

"My students? As average as humanly possible," he said, and laughed a little. "I believe one of yours is in my first hour; Sasuke, I think his name is?"

"Ah, yes, Sasuke," Orochi said, a smile creeping up on his thin face. "He's quite a singer."

"I've heard you've been giving him voice lessons, is that right?" Kakashi asked innocently, and Orochi nodded.

"Yes, he came and asked me about them," he replied. "Quite a talent, he's got. Lots of potential."

"You two haven't been doing anything... extra, have you?" Kakashi asked, and Orochi shot a cold glare in his direction.

"Are you implying that we have a relationship?" he said eloquently, stirring his straw around in his smoothie.

"Mm... no, not really," Kakashi said smoothly. "Are you helping him with tutoring?"

"That, Hatake, is very much none of your business," Orochi replied hotly. "I suppose you've heard about the police searches of my home?"

"A little," Kakashi replied. "It seemed a little suspicious."

"It damn well was," Orochi replied. "Interrupting my personal life on such... aggregious claims! I would _never_ do such things!"

"Really?" Kakashi said, and Orochi nodded intently.

"Absolutely. I'm deeply insulted, every single time they show up at my door with their warrants," he said, and took a long sip of his grape smoothie. "I've done nothing wrong, and I've got nothing to hide."

"Mm, perhaps they're looking in the wrong place," Kakashi said, and Orochi shot him another glare of astonishment. "For whoever is doing those sorts of things, I mean," Kakashi added smoothly, and Orochi coughed.

"Well!" he said, and tapped his nails on the wood of the table. "That was rather rude of you."

"I'm the victim of improper timing, I'm afraid," Kakashi said, a little bashfully. "Didn't mean to offend."

"Well, you should be," Orochi said. "Let me say this to you, Hatake; your life is your private business, as is mine. It seems to me like you're prying."

"Didn't mean to," Kakashi said. "Honest to god."

"You had better," Orochi said, and his face took on a surprising gentleness. "Tell me, you're tutoring, as well?"

"After school on Tuesdays, yes," Kakashi said, somewhat suspicious. "Why?"

"I've heard that Sakura Haruno's been attending your tutoring; she's in my freshman women's choir, you know," he said daintily.

"So she is," Kakashi replied.

"Hatake, continue to pry, and there will be more than enough evidence that you and the lovely Ms. Haruno are more than just... teacher and student," he said, and got up, a sneer smile on his face. "I'm dreadfully sorry, but I need to go; Sasuke has a voice lesson scheduled this afternoon. Good day, and I do hope you heed my warning."

Kakashi said nothing, and Orochi left, confident that he had taken Kakashi out of his way.

Little did he know that Kakashi had placed a small recording device in his bag; somewhat illegal, but capable of producing irrefutable evidence needed to convict the criminal.

True, he received a good verbal thrashing when he arrived back at the headquarters with the news, but the disturbing audio that the device provided them made them grimace in disgust, but raised their hearts in excitement that they finally had the evidence they needed.

But, as he sat there, sipping his bitter coffee, Kakashi revelled in the fact that he knew was already the victor.

-///-

_A wild hunting-dog  
Listens well, and with much care  
For snakes in the grass_

File no. 3: Kakashi  
- End -

Upcoming file  
- Zabuza Momochi

-///-

Author's Notes(ish things)

Hey, everybody!  
I'm so sorry there wasn't a chapter last week...

I got sick with a nasty cold over winter break, and I could barely get a start on the new chapter... I'm sorry...

(I suppose it wasn't so bad; the site was being a turd, and not sending out alerts. They've returned, yippee, so you can enjoy your chapters! D)

I tried to make this one longer, but unfortunately, it was pretty open-and-shut.  
However, I have quite a long adventure in mind for Zabuza, so look forward to it!!

Anyways, I've got wicked announcement!  
**Konoha High has plans for a radio drama!**  
We're in need of voices for the cast, _especially you guys out there_; we need Zabuzas, Itachis, Kisames, etc...!

Think you can do a good job imitating someone?**_ Take a short voice clip of a few lines of dialogue in the fic (just do a quick search if you need lines to say) using Sound Recorder or some other software, and send your submissions to twilightfaerie(at)gmail(dot)com with the subject line "Radio Drama," along with the character you're reading for._**

I'll definately take a listen! We're in need of volunteers, so don't hesitate to try!

There isn't really a deadline, since this is just beginning to take form. Sure seems like fun, though!  
Send in those submissions!

- Rii


	25. Hiatus Announcement

Hey, folks, it's me. :D

I've got a piece of bittersweet news for you all: Konoha High will be going on hiatus.

I feel rather bad about it, but then again, the story is technically "over." These character files are fun to do, but Cross the Heartland has captured my attention, and I'm very excited about working on it. I'll update occasionally (since I do want to cover a tasty little piece about Tayuya and Hidan... ehehe...), but don't expect once-a-week updates, like I used to do. If any of you are Kingdom Hearts fans, it would mean the world to me if you checked out my latest project; it's my best fanfiction yet. :)

Cheers to you all, it's been a blast!  
- Rii

(damn, I feel like the author of Super Sized... ugh...)


End file.
